Dear lefty:
- If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
- The one down the block that has huge branches falling down randomly, because it's being eaten by some bug no one can identify.
We bid fond farewell to Dr. John (Mac Rebennak - 77) who passed from a heart attack. If you don't know who he is, you probably remember his hit "Right Place, Wrong Time." He was a very influential musician (piano and guitar, gruff vocals) and helped keep Louisiana on the musical map.
- Remember Ring Dings? The small round chocolate cake with white filling and chocolate covering? There's now a vanilla covering and white cake. Trust me on this, they're worth a try.
- You don't get this kind of information from normal blogs...
This week's imaginary reader participation exercise:
Moon landing: true or hoax?
- Ancient Jewish curse: may your in-laws be Joan Rivers, Rosie Perez, and Fran Drescher
My life would be even better if I never heard these words or phrases again:
- guac
- game changer
- no brainer
- imma
- easy peasy
- not tonight
- the best EVer
- your dog has cancer
Dear lefty:
- As a future Miss America, how will you make the world a better place?
- sue the Miss America pageant until they allow men
- fix everything for the children
- remove the stigma from having facial hair and wearing ball gowns
- eliminate abortion after birth
- legalize drugs - mandate them if necessary
- put an end to the scourge of doorbell-licking
- tube top Tuesdays!
Penny's Corner
The chemotherapy continues. Everyone is very happy with her progress and she might not need the final treatment - they're going to re-evaluate her. How does one re-evaluate chemo? Yes, the dog continues to not have cancer? Additionally, this might mean not having to take a third mortgage on the house.
The chemo has been no help whatsoever with her licking my pants and sofa cushions. Mrs lefty doesn't even lick my pants, why should the dog?
Penny loves spending time in her yard. Currently she's installing some large holes in the lawn. She's much more excited about installing holes than I am, but then again, everybody is more excited than I am.
- In a controversial decision, the BBC has decided to stop airing news. They discovered that some people were sad and others triggered by events in the news and the BBC apologises for any offence it might have caused. Instead, there will be a constant display of puppies, kitties, and shrubbery.
I've been to a total of two car shows, so I'm what you'd call very experienced and opinionated. Actually I'm opinionated to begin with, hence this blog. Also hence the way people remember they had something to do when I show up.
I like car shows, but have no idea why. The cars are nice, many of which were made before my mother ever had the idea she could make babies. Some before my mother ever had the idea she existed.
Strangely, I have only one complaint: next to the 58 Chevys there are always the 2012 Camaros, with more chrome than a dealer's lot of new cars. The engines inevitable have dual quad carburetors and that blower thingie that requires cutting a hole in the hood. How do you drive with that monstrosity blocking your view? Apparently you don't. It turns out the size of the owner's penis is inversely proportional to the height of the engine (or so I hear). In any case, I don't want to see these things (or their penises) - the older cars are more fun to look at.
At one point I saw something I've never seen before. It was ancient. It had wooden tire spokes. The windshield was a round piece of glass, attached to the steering wheel column. There were no doors. Turned out to be a Ford Model T! It won the award for the oldest car I've ever seen. The old folks who came with it looked like they worked on the assembly line. The sponsor has an ambulance standing by, in case any of the entries died. There's a contingency plan to get the bodies out of there without anybody noticing. They do this by disguising the ambulance as the car from Ghostbusters, so it passes unnoticed.
We remembered that the cars of our youth were not stock if there was a huge engine that came through the hood. Some cars were jokes and junk when they originally came out but now they're old and vintage, like my guitars (and me, sometimes). The restorers truly did a great job, down to the seats and covering. Seeing the late 50s cars made me wistful for the guitars made those years (no, I was not around then). If I can find a late 50s lefty, it's somewhat expensive, in the way houses are expensive. Many of the transmissions on the cars are lacking PRNDLs - instead they have numbers like 1 2 3 4. I don't like that kind. Real men are secure enough to have their gears shifted for them.
Be skeptical when you see people in high places speak against Fake News. They try to make it sound ridiculous, like newscasters talking about people seeing UFOs. It is a fact that the CIA infiltrated newsrooms, like the one with Walter Cronkite, and planted stories as an experiment. They even had people on the payroll. From very early, there was a gentlemen's agreement not to print certain 'interesting' behaviors of presidents (JFK for one). So fake news isn't a recent phenomenon. There are YouTube videos with snippets of newscasters all speaking from a script - all using the same words.
The news now just pushes agendas. You will see certain themes, among them inflammatory stories of people doing damage with guns. You will not see stories about someone with a gun saving others. You will see the talking heads laugh off UFOs. You will see a great emphasis on sports and social media input. Local news is somewhat less biased but generally fluff and downright stupid. If you want news from an alternate viewpoint, you can tune in news from a different country, but they're also pushing an agenda - it's just harder to see.
Some news networks have been caught making things up and staging national news, but they're local and on a set, trying to look like they're on scene. Most news networks are against the president, except Fox. This says people up the food chain are scared. Of course Fox just waves the flag, so they're not much better.
Don't laugh off claims of Fake News. Trump did not invent the claim - he's just the first to verbalize it. You've been consuming it forever.
I am gross and perverted
I'm obsessed 'n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little has changed
I'm the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you
I may be vile and pernicious
But you can't look away
I make you think I'm delicious
With the stuff that I say
I'm the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I'm the slime oozin' out
From your TV set
You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't go for help . . . no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold
That's right, folks . . .Don't touch that dial
Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin' along on your livin' room floor
I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, lookit me go
I Am the Slime - Frank Zappa
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