Sunday, October 30, 2011

Kids - Like Them or Not....

I've always been up front about my general dislike of children.  I told my wife they were not an option from the beginning.  I figure I'm not done being a child by far so there really isn't any reason to bring one into the world.  Plus there are plenty who don't have it so great already....

I have nephews; two to be precise.  They tolerate me a hell of a lot better than I do them.

We visit friends for Sunday dinner.  The place is impossible to describe.  Suffice it to say that living there are two multiples, a psychologist, an artist, a pair of eighty-somethings with selective dementia, a pharmacist and several partridges complete with their own pear trees.

Another family that sometimes visits caused most of the assembled masses to state that the children had a better chance with wolves than that particular set of parents.  But since they were family.....

A while back one half of the parents got sent to jail on firearms-related charges.  We could not decide if that was a good thing for the kids or not.  The remaining parent, and I use the term loosely, treated everyone else as free babysitting for the baby born just after one of them reported to prison.

I used to call one of the kids Bobble-Head because he looked just like one of those dolls with its head on a spring that wobbled back and forth.  It probably hurt but my wife had to agree - the kid's head was rather large-ish.  The other child was very nice but was already starting to lose entire days.  Not a good sign.

After prison started, Bad Parent #2 hooked up with Random Male #1.  Strangely enough, they produced Little Child #2.  Shortly thereafter, Random Male #1 started beating Bobble-Head.

There was obviously only one thing to do and Bad Parent #2 did what was necessary. She put Bobble-Head in the car and halfway through the ride, explained that he was going to live with his grandmother.  Unfortunately she never checked with Grandmother.

So we all had dinner tonight and Bobble-Head sat with us.  My wife remarked that he really has grown into his head (which still makes me laugh).  She says it's a Polish trait (and who am I to argue?).

The child was dropped off with some shorts (yesterday was the surprise snow storm before Halloween) and three pairs of too-small underwear.

One of the denizens was nervous because lefty does not like children.  It's ok - he may not be terribly fond of them but he won't bite.

I know Bobble-Head has a much better chance with this assemblage than his natural parents.  And since he had a better chance with (random) wolves, I guess he's ahead by two.  But I can't stop wondering what was going on in Bad Parent #2's head (or not going on, as the case my be).

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