Thursday, August 15, 2019

Hippos Wearing Tutus

The IRS has warned tax professionals to create data security plans.
This would have been a great thing for the cities that got hit with ransomware. Or just having good backups.

Which brings me to the same topic: You need a data security plan.
Let's simplify it a bit.. you at least need backups. Even if your phone stores your data In The Cloud, it's not enough - for the phone or anything else. There are many huge backup services In The Cloud that can back up your data automatically. I'm talking about your home computer/laptop(s), and phones. You want to have at least two backups, with at least one off premises. 

Create a scenario where there's a serious spike or brownout in your electricity, wreaking havoc on your home computer (s).  Even if your computers get blown up, you can buy new ones and reload your data from backups. If your data is In The Cloud, you can restore from there, but the data has been known to 'get lost', so your 2nd backup, perhaps burned to a CD at home, will restore.

If, heaven forbid, something happens to your house, a copy of your data In The Cloud or at a relative's house, or in a safety deposit box, will save your bacon. You can never be too careful with your data. You will instantly regret not doing this the first time your device dies.


Discovered on Reddit: malicious links leading to android ransomware. It's limited at this point, but could go wider. 

There is a new attack on driverless cars: a drone projects a stop sign or obstacle, so quickly you can't see it, but the car can. Because drones follow you.


Technically, Windows is an operating system, which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warming whatsoever, stop operating.  - Dave Barry



Dear lefty:

  • I need more sex from my girlfriend of 2 months. Whenever I bring it up, she gets angry and we get nowhere. She used to be into it when we first met, but everything has gone to hell. I really love her and wonder what to do. What should I put on chocolate cake?
  • Vanilla buttercream icing. To be authentic, just eat the icing. Cake is merely a delivery system for icing.



Hairy the Ginger Prince and Princess Megan announced they're only having two children, to help the planet.  Harry, Megan, do not fret. You're not that ugly or objectionable, so you won't be hurting the planet moreso.  Although influencing others not to breed might be worth it. On the other hand, if you're that worried about the planet, don't have any kids (you selfish royal, virtue-signalling bastards).

Meanwhile, Megan is reportedly looking at in-vitro fertilization.



I don't do sports, so the closest I get is the news:
  • The ability to overlay ads on the field is appalling.
  • How come female golfers don't look nearly as clownishly dressed as men?
  • In the most recent election, the UK's Silly Party got 1% of the vote. This is usually an ugly sport, but it's so different from the US, where both parties are Silly.



Woodstock 50 will not happen. The celebration cash grab has had much trouble getting organized, with a financial backer pulling out early. With acts like Miley Cyrus and Jay Z, Jimi and Bill Graham were revolving in their graves.



  • Watching the last few public appearances since the election, Boris "Cindy" Johnson's hair seems to have calmed down a bit. Rumor has it the Royal Lawnmower has gone tits up.


For some reason, known only to the Universe and Frank Zappa, I managed to get tickets to see ZZ Top. This was thwarted last time after trying 9 browsers and 3 operating systems. Customer service said to call the venue. The venue's hours make banks jealous. Using stripped down Chromium, I mostly succeeded. Except they told me the password was wrong. While resetting it, they told me I couldn't use an old password. Well if I couldn't use it, then it was correct in the first place, right? While waiting for the password reset, all the work I had done selecting the tickets was wiped out. When I got back in, those tickets were gone. I hate these companies with every fiber of my being. I hate the process. If every other site can be accessed by most browsers, why not Ticketmaster/Live Nation?

This is where it gets even more funner: there is a $17.50 'service fee', and a $5.00 'order processing fee' per ticket. Why do they do this? Because they can.

But wait - how would I like the tickets? Well, electronically on my phone would be fine. And halleleujah, free! Oh, too bad. They're not going to send me the actual emailed PDF files - it has to be viewed in their app. If they think I'm going to install their spyware on my phone, I suggest they hold their breath and wait for me. There are a number of other ridiculously-priced options. I finally had them mail the tickets to me, for $5.00. These people occupy the lowest rung of hell, just next to politicians and child molesters (redundant, I know).  By the time I'm done, there is the ticket price plus $20 per ticket in ridiculous fees.


Just for fun, I went to my state's drivers license site and found out one can renew a license online! Of course it took 3 browsers to find out one can't, because there's a certain time to do this and we're naturally outside of it. The 'solution' is to fill out a PDF. When the PDF comes up, one can check boxes, but not fill in text. This is about right for the state. So I have to download them, print them, fill them out, have them notarized, then mail them off. No problem, right?

Problem.

My $&#ing printer gave up the ghost a bit ago. My new printer. I don't have the time or desire to open it up and fix it, so I had to order a new one.  A certain huge electronics chain that I won't mention, but rhymes with Shmest Guy, has printers. Oops, the only ones in stock are the wrong kind, plus one that's twice what I want to spend. The site promises it can have the printer sent to the local store within a week, more or less (more). But they might consider shipping it to me, within a few days (depending on the weather and whether Mercury is in retrograde). So I have to get the printer, print forms, notarize, and send to the state. Then play America's Got No Talent til they get around to sending stuff back to me.

This is why I don't order online. Or leave the house. Or deal with the govt. Or consume diet anything.


UPDATE
After the successful ticket order, I made a successful printer order. They got it to me next day, I plugged it in and it worked perfectly. No drivers, nothing. We should play the lottery.  Notice that Best Buy's website allows me to order without Major Grief (he lives in my house). Not so much Ticketmaster/Live Nation.



  • Bette Midler has declared herself a write-in candidate for president in 2020. Sorry, Bette, but your behavior mirrors the person you've been complaining about. We don't need more of that in the White House. Oh yeah, do you have a platform? Going to close the border to illegal aliens? Hollywood loves that. Uphold the Second Amendment? Change the national anthem to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy?





SJW Stuff

In England, a woman was arrested after video surfaced of her shouting "Shame on you" at a Pride Parade. England is going down the toilet, starting with the Public Order Act, which means police can jail you for doing anything they don't like at the moment. Cursing will get you a ride, as will racial epithets.


CNN
Have you ever noticed the popularity of white robots? The reason for these shades of technological white may be racism, according to new research


The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, the House Democrats’ powerful campaign arm, has just abruptly purged half a dozen staffers. Why? Because they are white.   That's racist.






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