Missing a Mercedes in May, Maybe March

 Your love is like  a Brazilian wax

You will be thrilled to know we're out of Rental Car Limbo.

Ok, maybe not you, but we are.

When I say we're out of Rental Car Limbo, I mean we returned the car and bent over for the fees. Not only did somebody hit the car, the rental person managed to find 3 more things for our insurance to cover.

While speaking to our insurer, I discovered Renterprise charging us a $500 deductible was incorrect, and they should have known better. So in however many months it takes for the insurer to extend our rental days, that will be refunded too.

As for the Mercedes, Mrs. lefty's comment was that she'd take a different car.

As for Collision Limbo, the collision place called to let us know where they were in the process and confirm it would be ready when they said it would. I forgot to ask him if they could paint it metalflake blue. Dammit. Nice guy, great service.

There has been some motion in Badge Limbo. Notice that I didn't say I was one step closer to getting my badge - just that there has been motion. I have been hurt before, and I'm very cautious. I have hired a priest from the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to help move me from Limbo.

Today I identify as  a hammer. I'll probably hammer in the morning.

• if I'm reading and listening to something, I can hear better if I look at the speaker

Because of voter-approved regulations in California, bacon may disappear.

Ya know, California is its own planet, provided for our amusement, but THIS could spell the end of it. Protesting, nuclear bombs, armed insurrection at the grocery store....

• Fauci says more 'pain and suffering' still ahead
• meaning he's still in office..

The legal limit on how much debt the U.S. government can owe was reimposed Sunday, kicking off a high-stakes battle over federal spending with dire implications for global financial markets.

A two-year deal to suspend the debt ceiling lapsed at midnight following inaction from Congress and President Biden to give the U.S. more borrowing authority. The Treasury Department will now begin taking what it refers to as “extraordinary measures” to prevent the U.S. from defaulting on its debt.

I didn't spend this money. You didn't spend this money. The people you voted for have, and haven't done a thing to fix it. Your president just put through a historic tax raise. Is this what you want?

People experiencing hair loss months after Covid infection...

Study: Vaccinated people can carry as much virus as others...

Follow the science  

• So the International Space Station was minding its own business, when a Russian module decided to FIRE RETRO ROCKETS, causing a bit of a problem with the shuttle's attitude control. NASA is sending some BLM protesters to the shuttle, for attitude control.

Got a Kindle that uses 3G to connect?

Not much longer.

2G and 3G are being repurposed for 4G and 5G, so phones and anything else that uses them won't work, unless they also can use 4G.

Or wifi.

HE ESCAPED....

Well, not so much escaped, as had to drive his wife. To CostCo.

I used to say "All good things come from CostCo,: but I don't say that anymore. Perhaps good things come from CostCo when I'm not doing the shopping there. 

It was a multi-purpose visit: to pick something up from the pharmacy, to 'get a few things,' and to replace a phone. We all know you don't 'get a few things' at CostCo. Yes, you need milk, but that $3,000 sofa is really comfortable. Yes, you need frozen shrimp, but that dining room table set would go nice in the.... dining room. [remember these...both will become more significant. This is a literary technique called I Dunno, because I'm not a literary person].

While at the pharmacy, I observed the process for Flying AIDS shots. It involved going to 4 windows and asking where do you get the shots. You also get a free eye test, looking around for the place to get shots before you ask. Then, just like the doctor's office, you sit there for 60 minutes and wait. I'm sure there was even more hilarity, but I just couldn't bear watching it.  [hint: they're not really free... your insurance covers it]

I noticed there were a ton of Russian people. It's not like there were a lot of them, but all the overhead announcements were in Russian.

I just have to break in here and say "Morena Beccarin.... whoooooo"

Back to CostCo, they have a kiosk with phones for the 4 carriers. We found out by accident this kiosk closes at 5:30, because she was there and they couldn't get her a new phone because they were closing. These fine folk are not CostCo employees, because for some reason, CostCo couldn't find anyone who took an IQ test and failed among their ranks. So they brought in the guys from BobCo Fly By Night Keystone Kops Phone Sellers, Inc. I mean, it started ok... she said she wanted a new phone. They tried to upsell and failed. The specs and demo phones were located around the corner from the phones with the prices. Gee, I can't Imagine why. Know this: if you want an android phone, you can have anything you want, as long as it's Samsung. Literally. No other phones. The guy said iPhone and we both laughed. And of the Samsung phones, you could have any of about 6, with not a ton of difference between them, except price. It's getting bad when even android phones are over a grand.... that used to be iPhone territory exclusively.

Having selected her phone (I like that one... my friend has it), we began the process. And when I say began the process, I mean Boris the Idiot stared at his screen and looked pathetic. You see, Boris the Idiot was a trainee, so he legitimately didn't know what to do (unless he's been in training for 4 weeks and is simply an idiot). Unfortunately, his mentor, Gandolf the Fat, was taking care of other customers, leaving Boris the Idiot to stab at numbers randomly, occasionally asking Gandalf the Fat some questions. Apparently BobCo didn't think it was important to staff the kiosk with anything more than (semi) warm bodies (with incredibly silly clothes - I mean when they stand next to a customer, you can't tell which one works there).

So this continued. I sat at the dining room table display (see, I told you) and checked my email and surfed a bit of pr0n. People are flipping obnoxious in public. The screaming children are bad enough, but the winner was the people talking on their phones, in speakerphone mode. If they're near and particularly loud, I join in on the conversation. It's usually pretty effective... they either turn it down or run to the other side of the store, This is why I surf pr0n at CostCo - apparently there's a mandate to be obnoxious.

Thirty minutes of Boris calling Gandolf over takes us to paying for the phone. I continue with email while Wife goes to pay. Fifteen minutes later, Wife re-arrives and politely fills me in on The Deal: she has to pay, then look for a manager to take her and the phone back to the kiosk, probably because people are stealing their own phones after they pay for them. Managers are very busy doing Manager Things, thus they are hard to find. This is where I helped: I shoplifted a refrigerator and POOF - instant manager. 

At this point, the frozen shrimp in the cart defrosted and I had a cart full of little shrimp running all over the place, scaring the children.  While I'm sitting, some bald dude with a lot of earrings is in my personal space, looking at the box for the dining room table. He must be gay - gays like me.  But I don't care if he's Mila Kunis - GET OUT OF MY SPACE. Ok, maybe Mila Kunis, but you get the idea. I know what's for dinner because the frozen lasagna has not only defrosted, my temper is cooking it. My back hurts, my mouth is dry, and my neurons are not happy. 

Once the manager accompanies Mrs. lefty back to the kiosk, the fun continues. First Boris, then Gandalf exclusively spent another 27 minutes doing something, We don't know what, because they don't know either. I'm getting near the end and my nostrils are telling me to GET... OUT...in Morse code so I ask what's causing the current Major Backup. They say something in kiosk that I don't understand (because I don't speak kiosk). I suggest we go to the carrier store because this ain't workin. She tells me she already paid. I introduce her to the refund.

Finally, 2 hours later, she has a phone.

And they could NOT transfer her contacts or calendar.

And they double charged us.

And Gandalf the Fat threw in a shirt. Unfortunately it was the one he was wearing.

This is why I don't go out much.

Joe Biden’s Secretary of State Tony Blinken recently announced that he is inviting United Nations racism inspectors to the United States to conduct a report on American society.

HUH?

• Pentagon believes its precognitive AI can predict events 'days in advance'
• "We can catch incidents of bad thought and racial slurs..."  

BOMBSHELL: House Committee finds COVID-19 leaked from Wuhan lab

• Don't you hate it when you're a medical student and the body you're about to work on is your friend?