Your love is like colon polyps
Today's Olympic News: to save money, teams ordered to use same balls for all sports
- Ya know those black stripes on the back of your credit cards?
- Mastercard will be phasing them out.
- They plan to go with either a chip on the card or a chip in your forehead
Audi is coming out with a shape-shifting car. It has a self-driving mode and expands 10" in that mode.
Megan Fox not available as an option. 12" not available as an option. Audi should check with Tesla on self-driving mode.
Today I identify as one of those nifty cups that keep hot liquids hot and cold liquids cold
- Secret terrorist watchlist with 2 million records exposed online
- Department of Defense believes it is no longer secret
- it had no password on it
They had to go back to paper.
$25 million contract to teach people how to use pencil and paper still cheaper than ransom
- everybody's second favorite social media joke, Twitter, found it imperative to hire a design firm to redesign itself. The design was causing headaches. Now the redesign will get a redesign.
- if they really want Twitter to stop causing headaches, they should take it down several times a week
In Cambridgeshire, England, a sinkhole was reported at The Butts Street
making it The Butts Hole
- Faceyspaces continues its ban on Taliban-related content
- can't read the language
Updated Flying AIDS booster news
Prediction: in January, you will need a booster for the booster
It's been days since my last Collision Repair Limbo update. Like two.
Not only is the collision repair in limbo, any updates from collision repair are in limbo.
It turns out that the entire collision repair industry goes on vacation from June to May, or any time I need a collision repair.
This has been a complete nightmare. Every. Single. Part. The one non-explosive event was that the Backup Car stopped hating Mrs. lefty. This car had it out for her. Every time she took it out, it would make strange noises, which inevitably got her pulled over by the police. After a while, they got used to it and stopped pulling her over. It would cough, spit, and bark, and this was before she started it. She would get warning lights that we didn't know we had. None of them appeared in the manual. One of them looked like a sheep. Then I'd get in the car and it would be fine, except I'd get pulled over just for fun. So anyway, the car has been very nice to her. Except for the hatch thing. None of us can figure out how to get it open. We looked inside for a release, under the plate, hidden under various spots in the body, under the back, and in the basement. Nothing. I remember one night, when my dad was an awful lot more vertical than currently, there were four of us, all trying to get it open. My brother finally succeeded, but no one saw him do it and he can't remember. Dad won't answer our pleas for info. RIP Dad. And by the way, do you remember how to get the hatch up?
Always an enjoyable email from Renterprise, lowest of the low, in where they charged my insurance for whatever some idiot did to the rental. There is a $100 service charge. Renterprise has a service charge for talking to you, handing you the keys, returning the keys, checking to see if you left the correct amount of gas, and seeing that there are at least 4 tires on the vehicle. Judging by the $998 total, there is a $1,000 maximum insurance payout. We know smoke starts to appear when I walk past an Apple store - Renterprise will be added to the list. They're so slimy, you have to shower after dealing with them.
- the Philly transit agency (SEPTA) installed bench seats at weird angles. Once it got out, people claimed it was to deter the homeless from sleeping on the flat seats or benches. No, no, SEPTA said - it was for COVID spacing. Sure it was. We swear.
I noticed the lady across the street coming home from food shopping. She has 2 bags. She has a family of 5. When Mrs. lefty comes home from food shopping, I have to surrender my lunch hour to bring the bags in. It must be the Pupperoni, I dunno. I just file it in the humongous accordion file of stuff I don't understand and it's better not to ask. Like her cane. We call it the Attack Cane. It pops out of her hand all the time. If she's not using it, it will attack whoever walks by it, by falling onto them. We bought a bottom piece to keep it stable: it fell over. She puts on the wrist strap: the cane trips her. Fscking thing is deadly.
I had a small bit of sandwich left over from lunch. I figured it was pretty harmless, why not give it to Penny? Wife stopped me and told me to break it up. No, it's processed turkey, she'll have no trouble breaking it up. "But she thinks she's getting more when you break it up." ---> file of stuff I don't understand and it's better not to ask. Funny, though... she napped the entire day. I thought about this when I was making the sandwich. Then I looked down and BOOM - there she was, my Canine Assistive Device (CAD). She never misses the chance to be of assistance when things are being made in the kitchen. My Canine Assistive Device does not have the prestige of those other dogs that blind or seizure people have.
- So Afghanistan fell to the Taliban, no great surprise. But there's one poor dude who just didn't get the memo. A British college student claims he went to Afghanistan for the weekend and got stuck.
- he was working on a business plan... an Afghanistan travel agency. Come to Afghanistan for vacation, stay for life! Afghanistan: see how the other half lives. Afghanistan: have you ever really MET the Taliban?
- He never really finished his vacation, which also included Yemen, Iraq, and Syria.
Speaking of Afghanistan, the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan documented our failure for 12 years, but nobody listened.
"It's like Vietnam, but more recent"
OnlyFans just put its SFW app on iOS/Android, as it tries to shake its adult image
They expect to get a lot of traffic to both of the non-adult pages.
No comments:
Post a Comment