Thursday, February 7, 2019

Philly is Hell with Steak Sandwiches

Philly: it's not a climate, it's a plague.

It's snowing. Of course it's snowing - snow is what it does when it isn't raining.
For days, they've been forecasting snow. Light, heavy, coming from Kentucky (drunk snow), won't be much locally. Naturally I woke up this morning and was told 2-6". Of course that much snow - it's my only day out of the house (even voluntary agoraphobes get out now and then).  All plans scuttled. The plans included the best milkshakes in the area, so you know I'm PISSED.

My phone's weather app said a dusting. Two news sources said 2-4 or 3-6. Of course we got 1/2", which wouldn't have killed our plans. Oh, the perfidy, the utter sadness and shame. 

Score one for open source weather apps.
And just for fun, there's a little sun out. This is Mother Nature, on crack, laughing at me.



  • Commercial: If your gums bleed when you brush, you could have gingivitis.
  • You could also have cancer. NEXT!



While tuning around, I noticed local coverage of some game or other. It had the morning news crew and one said, "blah blah football blah blah and the game will start in 40 minutes." They were sitting at a huge table, full of food. I know pre-game goes on for about 8 hours, but people are sitting there, watching the anchors eat. The show after this features evening news anchors picking their noses. Meanwhile, the game itself is a bunch of large men wiping their asses with 100 dollar bills that the fans gave them for a cheap seat.



Dear lefty:

  • Marvin Michaels, from Mounting, Montana asks "What are you - some kinda liberal?"
  • Did you see any doctors when you were little?




I just washed my hands in the kitchen sink. Apparently I used the wrong soap... my hands smell like.... woman. No, that's not why I washed them. Why can't we just use soap? Or some sort of liquid soap? I smell like flowers. I'm not exactly a mountain man, but I'd prefer not to smell like flowers (or eat that 'salad' that looks like someone ran a mower into a flower bed). From a practical standpoint, a huge chemistry department went through the trouble of finding a chemical that would make your hands stink after washing. This means your hands are never really clean after you wash them.



  • The Who is coming.  Well, at least 50% of them.



A California judge has ruled that police can't force people to unlock a mobile phone with their face or finger.  If you could POOF yourself back 20 years, you'd hear jokes about putting out fires with your face.

I wonder if the esteemed judge had anything to say about the TSA....




Dear lefty:

  • Rubin Robinson, Rebar Researcher, wants to know why the sun is yellow.
  • Dear Robin: don't be lazy - do the science yourself... visit the sun.















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