- Last week, Boeing's Autonomous Passenger Air Vehicle completed its first flight. Picture the passenger compartment of a plane on top of some helicopter rotors. It's electric and takes off and lands vertically. It will make road rage considerably more interesting.
This is the start of a good article on network tools for your android phone. You'll have to register to read more of it. There are some great apps available and you don't need to know much to operate them. Check your network to make sure it's humming along (or the kid next door is downloading a lot of things, on your wireless, that will have the FBI visiting your house). Also remember: Remote Desktop or VNC for connecting your phone to your computer has absolutely no security. Yes, you can connect, but so can everyone else. Or they can eavesdrop on what you're doing.
Dear lefty:
- Winston Weinstein, from Walla Walla, Wisconsin, asks what my middle name is.
- Sarcasm.
Things are gonna be different when I'm president, believe me.
Yes, it's lefty for president - running with scissors for YOU.
- Today's Mission for you: go through the entire day saying, "No, that won't do," as your only phrase.
In recent times, fashion fascinations have run to things in ears you can put a nickel through, overextension of mascara toward the ears, lip implants, and now, eyebrows. We on the bleeding edge of fashion, celebrate what's next: nostrils. Yes, nostrils. Surgery to make them larger, coloring and braiding nose hair, and cocaine to make one large nostril from two. After a self-administered coke treatment, be sure to drive.
- Breaking News: a man reportedly on amphetamines was arrested after his wife was found dead in their house. It turns out he wasn't on amphetamines - he was just really happy.
Been to Walgreens lately?
Coming to a store near you, a 'smart cooler' that uses facial recognition to determine your age and gender, then show you relevant ads. Contact Walgreens and tell them how you feel. It's bad enough we're tracked online, but let's stop the in-person tracking right now.
- A 19 year old Arkansas man was sentenced to 5 years' probation for trying to steal a commercial plane so he could fly to Chicago for a rap concert.
- He was arrested after bolting from the plane, screaming, "How do you put this damn thing in Drive?"
- Good thing he got caught - the stolen plane lot at the concert was full.
We are at war with Russia.
Well, not America... just me.
Not actually me, but my email.
Make sense?
I found some interesting software, but needed one little piece of information to see if I could use it. I wrote to Helpdesk, never expecting Vietnamese or Indian techs, and was not disappointed. I got a Russian gentleman instead, and asked for the little piece of information. He replied that black bread was scarce; not entirely where I was going with the question. Sorry about the black bread, I tried to break the question down into how the software worked. He responded with a detailed set of instructions for installing and using the software.
I briefly thought of putting my question into an English to Russian translator, but I try not to be an asshole (at this time of day). I tried again, using single syllable words and pictures. I have little hope of getting my little piece of information, as it's a fairly technical question. At this point, it's just a challenging exercise. Or maybe this is an attempt to dissuade anyone from emailing Helpdesk. This could be a deliberate action to sway the next election....
I'm still sorry about the black bread and toilet paper, bro.
- Japan's biggest maker of diapers said its sales of adult diapers had surpassed those for babies in 2011.
- Take that - ya big baby.
Dear lefty:
- What is your secret for success?
- I have no secret. I have no success.
Today's Text Bit comes from a question about social functions held on British Tornado jets:
The Tornado is a two-seat combat aircraft and therefore unsuitable for social functions such as cocktail parties or gala dinners.
What are your 10 favorite movies?
This will be a tough one - I have to think....
- Monty Python - Life of Brian
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
- Bedazzled (Peter Cook and Dudley Moore)
- Airplane
- Blazing Saddles (Mel Brooks)
- The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
- The Song Remains the Same (Led Zeppelin)
- Mother, Jugs, and Speed (Raquel Welch, Bill Cosby)
- Woodstock
- A Fish Called Wanda
- Work keeps threatening everyone with downgrading to Windows 10. No matter how hard I try, I can't get HR to declare this a Hostile Work Environment.
Peter Jackson (Madea, Throw Madea from the Train) has signed on to make a new Beatles film out of unseen 'Let It Be' footage.
Footage includes:
- Ringo insisting the crew not film his nose
- 7 separate instances of people trying to push Yoko off the roof
- John and his guest Jimi Hendrix arguing over who wore the women's floral shirt best
- Crew requesting Yoko play "Catch the Toaster" in the building's pool
- Paul's return after recently being dead
- the wives and girlfriends cuddling together to conserve heat, and touching each others' boobs
- Brian Epstein relentlessly hitting on Yoko because he thought she was a man
- George asking Jimi if having a big one makes him a better guitar player
- George Martin, in a candid moment, saying he was sick of these guys and Ringo was the only one with any talent
- the band's reaction to the doctor telling them John gave them all herpes
- repeated pleas for Yoko to stop touching her penis on camera
No comments:
Post a Comment