Bra Burning Had A Lot of Support

• Work has its own way of doing things. The other day I got notice that my request was completed. (Last October)

Let me say something nice about the dog: she comes when called.

Let me say something that was observed: ripping apart all sorts of stuffed animals was bound to have an effect. Her output is very.... colorful.

Dear lefty:

• Sam Suck, from Surrey, Saskatoon, South America, asks when we're going to feature stories on right handed people.
• Dear Suck: you were dropped on your head a lot as a baby, weren't you...

The final, egregious insult to the tv-watching public was just observed: there is a dental commercial in the UK with a spokeslady I like to moon over.  The other day I saw the same commercial in the US and the hottie spoke American.  This is not acceptable. They think we don't know. Although the British accent sounded smarter and more trustworthy.

• After doing the Science and proving that I cannot fly, I decided to stop trying. Even inadvertently. Ever helpful and safety-conscious, Wife went out and salted the ice. This morning we have ice with a lot of holes in it, like Jerry Seinfeld's comedy.

SNOW ALERT!!!!
It's that time again... I think they call it winter.
You know what that means.....PANIC!
There are two storms forecast for the weekend. Last time they forecast a dusting, then 3-6, and we got a dusting.

People were lined up at the supermarket before it opened. It's only a matter of time til the governor tells the National Guard to stop their research on medical marijuana and warm up. Shovels fly off the shelves, ice salt cannot be found, nor can thousand dollar snowblowers. A gallon of milk will go for $27.50 on the White Market and bread will be way beyond your means. Heaven knows you won't find anything in the stores. Except bologna and head cheese, which always seem to be in stock. That's because they're the same bologna and head cheese that were there when the store opened.

• She was watching a movie so old, John Wayne had no rug.

It might be time to leave when your IT department gives you the password password1.

• In the What Could Possibly Go Wrong department, Divers got to swim with one of the biggest great white sharks off Hawaii.

Millions of Oklahoma government files were exposed by a wide-open server. Patients with AIDS and FBI information (1986-2016) were available to anyone for about a week. The server was listed with a site that shows vulnerable servers and open devices connected to the net.

The FBI said not to worry, it was only 3 terabytes of data.

I'm kidding - they said nothing.

• Why you should clear your browser history.

A baby was found dead in a Phoenix Amazon distribution center.

They really need to go easier on their packages.

• Has your email address been stolen? Check at haveibeenpwned.com

Del Rio, Texas, got hit with ransomware attack, taking them offline and back to the ancient times of pen and pad (without the little i in front of it). No word on whether they got everything back together. All it takes to get back up is a good backup and a competent IT staff. I'll guess they weren't doing backups because 'they're not important' and 'we don't have the budget'.

Dear lefty:

• My cousin wanna know if youz coming downa shoor onna weekend.
• Horseradish.

A Microsoft partner portal exposed every support request filed worldwide. How do you measure something so large? Must be half the internet.

• Two people were killed at an Alabama IHOP the other week. Apparently Waffle House was closed.