Sunday, December 1, 2019

Fishing for Washing Machines

Many thanks to my non-US visitors. There are a lot of countries represented, although I can't imagine this blog translating to anything or anywhere else.

Also thanks to US visitors for our second 4500+ visitor days.
Something in the counter for this blog is on acid, but I'm not complaining. I shouldn't have killed the ads.



The Goog is in trouble. Read the article for only minor horrors about how the Fair and Balanced search engine works, and how many fingers are on the results you see. Yet another reason to use Duckduckgo. You can tell goog is important because they've already lied to Congress.


So long as we're talking about my favorite megacorporations, Apple banned all 181 vaping-related apps from their store, over concern about the possible health impacts of vaping. Cigarettes, anyone?

Since the next story caused too much of a headache to research, I figured why not vaping? Why not vaping indeed. I don't understand this concept, specifically why one needs an app for it. You appear to stick something in your mouth and inhale - why does this require an app?  So I checked... the first few search results were from vaping organizations(!), so I looked. The reviews were for top 5 vaping apps. One was "basically a Faceyspaces for vapers". Another was a calculator (because vaping affects your ability to spell). It shows Stuff About Coils, voltage, and how many cancerous additives to use. E-liquid recipes? Wow, a cookbook for your lungs! There's even an app that allows you to wish for and select the type of cancer you might get!

The best was an app that calculates how many ciggies you have not smoked since you 'quit' and how much money you've saved. The review doesn't mention whether it adds the cost of vaping in there anywhere, since you didn't quit, so much as change the Nicotine Delivery System<tm>.

I checked with my in-house expert, who looked at me quizically, and said she had no idea why one would need an app. You just stick it in your mouth and breathe (until you can't breathe anymore).

But wait!!! A brand-specific app allows you connect the device via BlueTooth, so you can "explore new capabilities".  Try that with your generic old cancer stick.

The greatest thing about vaping can never be controlled.. it's Smug. Yes, Smug: the feeling you get when you quit smoking cigarettes. People 'quit', then walk around with these things in their mouth. Some walk around with these things in their mouth for the rest of their lives, and boast that they've quit cigarettes. Umm... it's supposed to be a step-down program, not an Alternate Delivery System.

The FDA, which is Very Concerned about this, has banned flavored vaping, so as not to appeal to children. Vaping manufacturers have taken Great Offense at the insinuation they're marketing to children, and insist that Lungy, the single-lunged camel, and the YooHoo, Coke, bubblegum, and chocolate flavors are just great sellers.

ThermionicEmissions is aware that nicotine is more addictive than crack and it's borderline impossible to quit.




  • I've been thinking of redesigning the blog, or at very least, making ThermionicMalware less incredibly ugly.
  • I could use some input, so let's do this: if you like the way this blog looks, do nothing. If you think it should be changed, do nothing.
  • If you appreciate the amazing ugliness of the other blog, do nothing. If you desperately desire a redesign so the Geneva Convention doesn't prohibit looking at it, do nothing.
  • I looked back at the beginning of the blog and noticed a semi-active comments section. Drag your friends here and start commenting!




Physicists capture first footage of quantum knots unraveling in superfluid.
Yes, Superfluid - the Liquid Crimefighter! Disguised as a puddle with a teeny tiny cape, it's Superfluid. Wetter than water! Stronger than Regularfluid! Able to leap tall glasses of chocolate milk in a single bound... it's Superfluid!*

*I love me some quantum physics, but this is so far down in the dust, I can't make sense of it. People who understand it will probably be ok with the article. The footage captured was of a quantum knot, decaying into a spin vortex. Got it?

A quantum knot is what happens when you pull your shoelace to untie it. It never unties smoothly and you wind up with a quantum knot: the kind it takes 10 minutes and a woman to remove.

Also included was a picture of the equipment used to generate quantum gas (read the damn article). Blogspot will not allow me to include a picture of what generates quantum gas where this blog is typed. Why am I still using Tiny Font?




Dear lefty

  • Why aren't HD cameras working out in cars as crash cams?
  • Because drivers turn them around and take selfies.




Ever have one of those days? Of course you did.
My situation strings together a lot of those days, after which I type them here for your entertainment. This morning I was jolted awake by the light being on. It was the light Mrs lefty turned on, as she pointed to the small lake in the middle of the bed. Logically speaking, one of us had put it there. Since it wasn't me, that left 2. Since Penny hasn't peed in the house since right after we got her, that left 1. And the 1 was Penny. She probably has a UTI, as she never fails to alert us, sometimes by walking on our sleeping heads, that she has to go outside.

We bought this bed almost new, and have already caused more damage than it got since it was put together.  My father gave me his very worn but reliable car, which sprouted a dent the first week I drove it to work. Then it started overheating. The cherry on top was when the tree limb from hell fell on it, smashing the rear window and various body bits. Mind you, none of this was my fault, unless you call owning it my fault.

My grandparents gave us this wonderful old dining room set; waaaay older than me. Simply getting it to the house caused more damage than the 50 years they had it. This stuff just happens.

Since Dad had the unmitigated audacity to die and Mom doesn't drive, we're getting the car. I would strongly advise you not to come within several states of it.




  • If you have Chrome or a Chrome-based browser, why is it almost impossible to get a cookie blocking extension? All the cookie managers let you play with the cookies. I don't want to play with cookies, I want to deny or accept cookies, on a per-site basis. I finally found a developer-related addon that does this. Idiots.




Today I identify as pudding.



There is something fascinating about Tunnel Boring Machines (TBMs).
Not fascinating is they're very temperamental and frequently require maintenance. They carry a small train behind them to get all the dirt out from boring.



No thank you, I'd rather debate politics in front of the White House



Because I'm a musician (allegedly), you get stuck with weird stories and recommendations. Today it's Paul Williams. If you're under 30(?) you may not remember him. You might know some of his songs, though: We've Only Just Begun (Carpenters), "Rainy Days and Mondays" (Carpenters), "You and Me Against the World" (Helen Reddy), "An Old Fashioned Love Song" (3 Dog Night), "Let Me Be the One", and "The Rainbow Connection" (Muppets). Embarrassingly, theme from the Love Boat (hopefully you don't remember that either). He won Grammys, Golden Globes, and Academy awards. He was bloody huge around the 70s.  Later on, excess got to him, he got clean, and is a certified drug and alcohol counselor, in addition to a very gifted writer. It's unclear if he wrote the music too, as it seems to be credited to 2 or 3 people. He was also a huge tv star, with an uncountable amount of appearances on the Tonight Show (Johnny Carson, anyone?), movies, and other tv shows. He's a funny little dude (5'2"), with a huge personality.

Just watched a documentary, kinda, on Paul, called Paul Williams - Still Alive. It's both funny and sad, in many different ways. The fellow who made the movie approached it as a fan, wanting to make a movie, and also become buddies with its subject. If you look carefully, you can find it online.

I'm going to flash back... way back, to my mom's record collection. Before I started playing guitar, I would listen to her albums (round black things, with a tiny hole in the center, pre-CD, pre-MP3). I discovered Joe Cocker there, which started me off on the right foot, as well as Procol Harum. I gave her Little Feat and the Allman Brothers, so it was even.  Among the records was Paul Williams - A Little Bit of Love. For whatever reason, I fell in love with it. It's bizarre, as this is not my forte, by a long shot (Mom, ya done good). Many years later, I still remember the songs, or parts of them (my musical memory is beyond weird).

In the movie, a lot of people said they were drawn to his music by the words, which dealt with loss and being lost. I think I was drawn by the music, then the words, but I'm generally not a words guy.

I saw him, many years later, in the Minneapolis Airport. He kinda stared at me, and I could hear his thoughts: What the hell is THAT? I really should have chatted with him.

Give him a listen, as well as the people who sang his songs.




  • Bose continues their innovation, this time in headphones. Their phones have 130 microscopic drivers (70 facing outward), alleging that you get the full fidelity from them, plus 4 racks of pre-processing.
  • The above is hysterical if you remember their 901s.




Heroes of the Stupid


Apple fired an employee who went through a woman's pictures and forwarded one to himself. He was very sorry (for getting caught) and had no idea how it happened.   Apple apparently hires people from Geek Squad.

Apple allows you to install other browsers on the iDevice, but they can never be the default. Regardless of what you install, it's only a fancy wrapper, because all browsers are required to use Apple's rendering engine.

Denver is suing a business owner for refusing to pick up the feces of homeless people who defecate on his property.

Australia wants to use facial recognition for porn age verification.




SJW Output

Anyone should be allowed to 'identify' as black, regardless of skin color or background, according to university leaders in the UK. In unrelated news, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton had stereo heart attacks today.


There’s no one way to be a man.
Men who get their periods are men.
Men who get pregnant and give birth are men.
Trans and non-binary men belong.
#InternationalMensDay - courtesy of the ACLU, which is getting sillier with age


A studio exec has suggested Julia Roberts play Harriet Tubman.
This is every bit as stupid as demanding black and female actors play white male roles.


Millennials say workplace 'Secret Santa' gift exchange causes anxiety.
Know what else causes anxiety? Getting fired.






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