People (and comedians) have used the difference between the first 2 genders as fuel forever. Now it's people, comedians, and bloggers. Here are some inexplicable differences, but these might be differently different than others....
I have a pair of sneakers.
She has a shoe room.
I have a winter coat.
She has a coat rack, on which the seasonal coats reside. There are so many of them, the rack tips over whenever you look at it.
I have a couple of pairs of jeans.
She has an entire room, plus 6 external dressers and 2 closets, for just seasonal clothes. It takes two weeks and a front-end loader to change seasons.
If there's a fire, I grab a guitar and run. The dog follows me.
If there's a fire, she has to go to the bathroom, smoke a cigarette, put on some makeup, ask 'does this look good?', smoke a cigarette, approach the door, go back for the forgotten cold Coke, and leave. Then returns for her keys, which she forgot. Then returns for her pocketbook, which she forgot. Then smokes a cigarette, using the firey couch to light the thing. In other words, the dog and I will be safe, but she will be pulled out by paramedics, burnt black, and asking if she can have a cigarette before they take her to the hospital.
When I'm tired, I go to bed.
When she's tired, she sits on the couch and nods off. Then she goes up to bed. Within 5 minutes, she's back down because 'some unthinking person didn't bring a cold drink for me.' Then back up. 5 minutes later, she's back down for a cigarette. Then back up. 10 minutes later, its back down for something sweet.
Between 5 and 20 minutes later, she comes back down because she couldn't sleep. Then sits on the couch and nods off.
Dear lefty
- What do we do about global warming?
- Run your air conditioner.
Penny's been with us for about a year now. She is absolutely the sweetest dog we know (unless you're a bird she snatched out of the air). Aside from cancer, the only bad thing she came with is barking. You cannot stop her. You can yell, jump up and down, get right in her face and stare her down, and she will not stop. Related is Office Barking. I sit in my office, Wife talks to me 10' away, dog gets in the middle and starts barking and talking to her. It's not defensive, she's not protecting me... it's like she wants something, whenever we talk. WOO WOO ARRRRR WOO. No idea what it is. She's the least weird dog we've ever had.
I remember picking her up at the airport. I looked in the carrier at that beautiful face. By the time we got home, she jumped right on the couch and was ours. The rescue people said she was ok where she was fostered, but she needed a place where she could be The Queen. Yeah, she got it.
- The Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled that people are not required to give up their passwords to police!
Want some basic info on UFOs? Richard Dolan is a well-respected researcher. He knows people, he's done the legwork, and he has a lot of interesting things to say.
My buddy works from home. He loves it.
He tells me that he attends all meetings naked.
--> That must be nice.
"Not for my neighbors."
Are you ready for 5G?
Don't worry, neither are the providers.
AT&T says real 5G will only be as fast as its fake 5G. They claim there will be significant speed increases in 2020.
Current 5G is hampered by the frequency used, which is subject to interference from walls, dish soap, and air.
Verizon says 5G on the lower bands will be like "good 4G."
In other words, we're once again being sold a bill of goods. They knew full well before it rolled out that it was an improvement strictly for the marketing department. Businesses were offered millimeter-wave 5G by AT&T, but not real people.
If I understand this correctly, the providers have been building hype for quite a while, knowing that there's nothing there, but planning to have something there... next year. The Great Hype is arriving, but only at last year's speed. And let's face it - 4G is no prize. Rest assured - you will pay for it, regardless of coverage or strength. Your phone had better be 5G-compatible. Read the article - if I try to type more, I might suffer cranial explosion. Let us not forget the debate on 5G safety (I don't know enough to comment).
While we're (not) on 5G, the Department of Defense has come out against using the 1-2GHz range for 5G because it's in their GPS range. The FCC is making a mess of this, as is their calling.
An entire school district in Colorado has been shut down by a particularly nasty stomach bug. School districts across the country are on alert. School children across the country are asking for samples, for... you know... science.
- Prince Andrew's birthday party was canceled by the Queen. He was never born and the reptilians win another one.
Tinder is for rookies. Go to Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size. - Twitter.
How bout those Nazca Lines? The ones in all the ancient astronaut shows. IBM and Yamagata University had AI look at the lines and came up with a hidden human figure (with a tv for its head).
Scientists have detected alien sugars on Earth-bound meteorites. Although this is very significant, we won't know if the aliens are advanced til we detect alien chocolate.
Today I identify as JFK. They lied, btw.
Suspecting a man of dealing meth, police attached a GPS tracker to his car. The man found it and removed it. The man is now being charged with theft(!) Court case is pending.
Humans have been placed in suspended animation for the first time. Let's freeze Congress (because it's illegal to do the other thing to them)
No thank you, I'd rather write songs with Miley Cyrus, in the midst of her latest programming failure.
Heroes of the Stupid
Sunbathe your asshole, for wellness.
California is against facial recognition (Yay!).
The California DMV makes $50 million a year selling your personal data
SJW Similies
Transgender model outraged after porn offer retracted due to her penis - and UK police are investigating it as a hate incident. Remember when porn was a bad thing? It still is.
Transgender activists force menstrual products brand Always to remove 'woman' symbol from their packaging. Welcome to 2019 - the Absurd Decade.
CDC: Nearly 2 percent of high school students identify as trans.
Jessica Yaniv (WAX MY BALLS!) has to pay legal costs to the business owners she harassed at the Human Rights tribunal. The do not have to handle her junk now or ever. I was made aware of the waxing process. The mere idea of this makes me scream.
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