As with anything coming from China, the recent Moon trip to collect rocks is not what it seems. While China did collect the rocks, they did so by hacking NASA and walking in the front door, relieving themselves of a long, drawn out, difficult Moon mission.
There are early reports that the International Space Station has been hacked, possibly through Windows. The ISS has been ordering Chinese takeout for a week, despite GrubHub's insistence they do not deliver off-planet. None of the astronauts are aware of the orders, but claimed they'd go as far as shooting down anyone's satellite for 1 slice of pizza.
In other news, Russian hackers hit the US Nuclear Agency. They plan to gain control of it so they can bomb themselves.
Your love is like the sudden stop when driving your car off a bridge
- A new childs' book, in the tradition of Where's Waldo, challenges children to figure out what was wrong with Roald Dahl's parents.
As the result of a child at a school board meeting, Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, gave children a snow day. The idea is so completely goofy, it will be moments before colleges and universities go on strike, demanding their own snow day. Because colleges do not emphasize math, or common sense, the strike days will far outnumber a snow day.
Earlier this week, a team of researchers announced that they successfully teleported qubits of photons across approximately 27 miles of fiber-optic cable.
We know I'm no quantum physicist, but isn't the idea that 2 bits are connected through space at any distance? Perhaps I should take up reading, instead of the socially significant hobby of putting this blog out.
Today I identify as a high quality 250k potentiometer in a Fender Stratocaster - none of this offshore miniature crap.
In the continued march of Science, biomarker of Alzheimer's found to be regulated by sleep cycles.
Uh-oh
In 2020 alone, Alzheimer's was found to be affected by:
- aluminum
- sleep cycles
- sense of humor
- sarcasm
- thickness of nasal hair
- how large a person you'll insult
- the amount of Scientific Drinking done by the researchers
In January, the WHO will be in China to probe the origins of the Flying AIDS.
China has announced that the WHO did not find anything indicating the virus originated there.
- Militants released hundreds of kidnapped children in Nigeria, after realizing they only kidnapped the boys. Vatican signals interest in the case.
A new 1Password survey on password use and online security in family
life finds more than half (51%) of parents who work from home (WFH) say
their children have accessed their work accounts.
It's not that we will never learn, it's that we actively refuse to learn.
- The Government Accounting Office today looked around, cried, and went home.
Somebody recommended a podcast and I went to listen.
Nowhere on the page was a warning that the 'caster is a SCOT.
Podcasts, unlike tv, do not come with closed captioning.
Penny came from Florida and had never seen snow til 2 years ago.
Like us, she's not all that fond of it, kind of hopping up and down to get through it. I'm not positive but I think I heard her on the computer last night, looking up plane fares to Florida.
- Cellphone data suggests Bay Area not as compliant with new shutdown as it was in the spring
- aw shucks, you don't even have to volunteer to be tracked.... at this point, you might as well turn your phone off when you leave the house.
- Also, the DHS is working on facial recognition with masks. Perhaps we should start wearing masks with mustaches and glasses. There were volunteers for this testing....
Guitar Center has come to its alleged senses and only sends me 2 emails every day. There is no more begging, very few 29% off emails, and they're not stalking me anymore (I hope). I'm sure that van that says Electruck Compinny is completely legit. In fact, tonight I'll test the theory by running a 400v banana up its tailpipe.
Ya know, I haven't said anything about UFOs for a while.
For your reading enjoyment, I will continue not to.
Other than it's the 40th anniversary of Rendlesham, in England, at a military base. One of the best cases documented.
That is all.
Illegal winery busted at Alabama sewage plant
Y'all got maw of that Summer Yellow blend?
I sho am fond of that there Alabama Brown.
Hey, this red has a bicycle in it!
What's in the Mystery Box?
Another oft-forgotten part of the Not Getting Things You Ordered is the unspoken amount of time it takes to put the item in a box and ship it out. I just got notice that the item I ordered has just shipped. The item I ordered last week. So it took 7 days to physically pick up the item, put it in any old small box, put a label on it, and wait for the pickup guy? I see you overcame all obstacles to accepting my payment.
Was there an indian attack? Did a ring of fire set by satanists prevent you from getting close? Near-fatal hangnail? Was the USPS guy in the hospital from too much meth? Aliens extracting bodily fluids? North Korea call you names? 7 days to stuff the whole t-shirt into that little envelope? Biker gang? Chinese New Year? I know - the Russians hacked into your computer, delaying only my transaction.
My feedback on sellers is going to be very interesting this month.
I bought a really cool guitar pedal. This is the package that showed up 2 days past its guaranteed arrival date. Everything was in order, there was a cute little instruction manual, which I tossed aside, and I played with the pedal. It was largely self-explanatory. Just for fun, I got out the manual to see if I missed anything, and wasn't I surprised - it was a catalog. How was I supposed to know there were switches inside the pedal and maybe what they were for? I'm a guitar player - we're stereotypically dumb, so we need all the help we can get. That's why they call them hidden features - they're hidden from the user.
Flying AIDS Hits Home?
My mom's health aide just let her know that her dad was diagnosed with the Flying AIDS. My mom's idiot doctor said not to get her tested unless she shows any symptoms. So aside from being down 1 health aide and being exposed to the Flying AIDS, it's been a quiet week.
The FDA is investigating allergic reactions to the vaccine, reported in 5 states.
“I think we have at this point the right ... mitigation strategy with
the availability of treatment for a severe allergic reaction being at
the ready, and we’ll continue to monitor it very closely,” he added.
The CDC is investigating the FDA's investigation and Pfizer said there will be no official statement until they figure out what the FDA meant by that.
At a hospital in Chicago, vaccines on staff were halted after tingling and elevated heart rate. The 4 staff members are out of ICU and their families have stopped making funeral arrangements, so vaccines will resume Sunday.
The Equal Opportunity Commission said employers can require employees to get the shot or not be allowed to enter the workplace. The US Geological Agency said that employees cannot be fired for refusing to get the shot. The IRS said if they pass out from the shot, they can have 30 minutes off.
Panama's health minister ordered men and women to shop on different days to curb the spread of the Flying AIDS. The minister explained that when men and women shop, their hormones go crazy, and all of the sudden, they're having sex in the aisles, spreading the virus. 30 minutes after his announcement, the minister promised never to make announcements after margaritas.
No comments:
Post a Comment