Your love is like Bill Gates set loose in a virus lab
The Cancel Crowd has decided Dr. Seuss is racist. Naturally, there are memes:
Since nobody is brave enough, allow me to list the racist books
- The Pocket Book of Boners (that are bigger than white ones)
- I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today (but let's go to KFC instead)
- The Cat in the Pimp Hat
- Horton Hears the Cops
- My Book About Victimization
- The Lorax be Dope n' Shit
- Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are (that you're not black)?
- I Am Not Going to Get Up Today (I'll just stay in bed and collect welfare)
- My Many Colored Days
- My Big Book of Beginner Books about Me (and my many children with different mothers)
- Dr Seuss's Book of Animals (live from the Black Lives Matter peaceful riot)
Next in the parade is DNA databases are too white.
The problem is that not enough black people are submitting their DNA. Something about being afraid to be identified.
Let's be fair - I wouldn't want to either. The ancestry companies are already in bed with the FBI.
Today I identify as a variable
There are new color pictures of Mars. Naturally there are none of the actual Martians, who have stopped hiding. They're currently racing the original Rover against the Perseverance rover.
As if Horton wasn't enough, and it never is, Seattle bike helmet laws are racist.
Also declared racist: window tint, premium gas, carpet, speakers, and lamps. If we could get them to declare Windows racist, our job would be done.
Also: why are there bike helmet laws?
We all like ThermionicEmissions because we're intelligent, rugged individualists. Every now and then I have to admit going with the crowd, and nowhere is this more evident than bacon and anything having to do with bacon. I'd eat cardboard if it had bacon around it. *NOTE: this does not apply to matzoh, which has less flavor and fiber than cardboard. Also Pizza Hut pizza.
Of course there are many things I don't go along with and several that I just don't get. Zombies, for instance. How did Zombies become a 'thing'?
If any of you took sociology or read a sociology book, or have one in the house, you could become the Official ThermionicEmissions Sociologist. Then explaining this shit would be Your Problem.
- Some of my bits come via avoidance. Currently, I'm avoiding bringing in the trash bins.
- Avoidant Personality Disorder is avoidance of feared stimuli. I'm guessing trash bins don't count as stimuli.
WARNING: Don't eat the cauliflower - it tastes like cauliflower. And looks like brains.
Are any of you dropping words? Are you picking them up?
I'll be thinking to myself that I need to include a Hendrix link in the blog. I'll start typing and not remember Hendrix, for the life of me. Or any other word. The doctors tell me it's normal. I don't think it's... uhhhh.... you know... that word...
- It's ok if you can't remember where you put your car keys. It's a problem if you can't remember what they do.
My friend said, "To cats, all humans are heated furniture."
My dear dog seems to have taken that loving stance (or sits). We know she will only sit on the couch or bed, never the floor. Now she wants to sit on me. If there's an inch between the laptop and me, she squeezes in and attempts to monopolize all the space. Continuing the Abandonment Dance, she has taken to sleeping on bed pillows, sometimes ours. It's ok - she leaves us room most of the time. Last night she decided on the general area of my general center. She does not understand that my brain is kept there, so she has to be careful. There's something about physics and a 24lb dog coming down with one paw in certain places that, quite frankly, hurts. Fortunately she abandoned her perch before the bleeding got really bad.
Mrs. lefty, a very smart woman, discovered she needed to stop her wild affair with the Home Shopping Bankruptcy Networks. Or at very least, she need to appear to stop the wild affair. Rather than claim the daily spate of delivery boxes, she tells me in advance that there's a box coming, and it's "towels for Mom's birthday" or "a matching noose for our sister-in-law." She takes advantage of my attention span, which is approximately as short as a pregnant gnat. Plus she knows if she's talking, I'm generally ignoring. Thus, when said 'present' shows up, she tells me she told me and it's a present, it's not for her. I played along for the first few months, then I notices the 'presents' looked an awful lot like things she would buy for herself. All of the sudden, everybody was getting shoes as presents. I'm sometimes forgetful, but I'm not stupid (except Wednesdays - I hate them).
I decided to retaliate. I started by bring the boxes in and 'hinting,' like "gee, that's too small for a guitar," and "nope, it doesn't come from the Southpaw Shop" (the main lefty-only guitar shop in the US, located in Houston, TX). She'd say no, these are the boots for your mom's birthday. Mom always gets presents, but there's something about an older, fragile woman wearing hooker boots from Pretty Woman that seems just a little odd. I know she can't wear that size either, which, coincidentally, is Mrs. lefty's size.
Someone suggested getting all your guitars in one color, so she doesn't notice a new one. The only problem is that whatever I buy, it won't go unnoticed financially. She will also not believe that the $1,000 tube amp kit is for my mother's birthday, or that Mom has had 3 birthdays already this year, and it's only March.
As the Flying AIDS mandates are starting to end, NY is testing a COVID Passport at stadiums. Never mind the horrid status issues - this is setting off red flags, people. If things are abating, why are more stringent requirements going into place? There is also an international travel app going into trials.
If you're heading to China or if you just like this sort of thing, anal swabs are now mandatory for foreigners entering China. (ask for Xi Peng)
It's 2 days past the day QAnon said Trump was going to rise, Jesus-like, back to power. As best I can tell, this failed to happen. Or maybe it happened so stealthily we just didn't notice it.
In related news, Capitol Police say they have uncovered intelligence of a "possible plot" by a militia group to breach the Capitol. I call BS. It has all the markings of an FBI manufactured event or something that just happened to happen after a real event. The House canceled its session. Yes, when liberty mattered, men came out with muskets, willing to lay down their lives in the cause of freedom. Ours ran out the back door.
Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin
Or maybe Trump just thinks he's back as president. He can say anything he wants and still not get anything done. It won't be far from his actual presidency. On the other hand, he won't bomb any countries, so there's that.
A SpaceX rocket nailed its touchdown, but failed in the overview because it blew up. The Teslas spontaneously combust. I'm beginning to think it's not safe to purchase a Musk product. One hopes standing near him is still safe... hopefully he won't burst into flames. It's getting weird around Tesla headquarters, where some employees won't open his emails or go to his virtual meetings, for fear of fire. In order to get his own secretary to talk to him, he has to throw $100s.
Ah, work is fun. Like sawing one's leg off without benefit of anesthesia. We have a ticketing system. Everybody has a ticketing system. When software is written, they try to make it user-friendly. For some reason, we bought the user-hostile software. It is the worst POS I have ever worked on and I don't have to work on it much. Occasionally I have to process a request, which seems only mildly horrific. The other day I had to put in a ticket, like a user. NO WONDER PEOPLE HATE THIS THING. I want to be helpful to the company and point out the ticking time bomb, because there are groups that get together to 'improve' things. In the 45 years we've used this software (ok, 2), apparently nobody noticed there's no way to figure out where to send your request.
They managed to get the basic stuff covered. If the computer is on fire, or looks like it is about to be, you just select HARDWARE and the system will do the rest. If you need Photoshop for a personal project on work time, choosing SOFTWARE will route the request, and you'll get a rejection in a week or 6. If there are any slight variations, you're screwed, for which there is no selection. To make the game more challenging and more fun, the request will go to the Waiting Queue Tank, where highly sophisticated coworkers, with at least 2 weeks' employment, will go over it and make sure it's routed to the incorrect department. This takes place in blinding speed - approximately the time it takes to rebuild an engine (but engine rebuilders have a clue as to what they're doing). When the ticket gets assigned, correctly or incorrectly, it goes to a whole list of victims people in that department for processing, screaming at, or General Ignoring. After 6-12 months, the system will remind you there's an unprocessed ticket so everybody can go on ignoring it. That's the thing about my employer; there is no discrimination, no racism, no distinctions at all. Everybody has the power and the will to ignore a ticket. We all ignore the ticket evenly, across the board, no favoritism. Even if we know it's misdirected and shouldn't go to us, we can't find the correct department either, just like the person who originally filled out the ticket. Or didn't fill out the ticket.
For some reason, I am guilty of being Competent. Others have judged me Competent, then they told still others. This is a very bad thing, because if you're Competent, people will call on you as The Main Guy, who Gets Things Done. Because of this, I saw the doctor, and there's no way to get rid of this title medically. Long term coworkers tell me to just stop doing anything, and that will eventually remove Competence, but it can take years. Because of being Competent, I got made the Superintendent of Tickets for my department, so when the ticket is roundly and equally ignored by the entire department, it goes back to ME. I found this out today, to my abject horror. Out of all my duties, this one would be right up there with root canal. I don't mind doing anything. Except dealing with tickets. Tickets that are over 6 months old and nothing has been done except putting them on Ignore Status. I've done work that belongs to other departments gladly, before dealing with tickets. I am writing this bit solely to avoid dealing with tickets.
Perhaps because I have been found Competent and speak up in meetings, I got an unofficial promotion to Unofficial Team Lead. The retiring Unofficial Team Lead told me a while back that she got the unofficial position along with a secret pay raise. The pay raise was so secret, she couldn't see it. It was so secret, it didn't register in her bank account. So now I have that position. So I had a sit down with myself and tried to figure out the position, and was it really right for me. Perhaps I failed to learn that military lesson about not speaking up. For anything. Regardless, aside from an unofficial title, there seems to be no actual advantage. I don't get the key to the women's washroom, no access to the soda machine that actually works all the time, only the normal amount of days off, and HR will still go after me for any complaint. But more people know me and ask me to do stuff. All because I ask questions and do stuff reasonably quickly. In this group, the position should be official and come with a doubling of salary.
Does it come with Promotion Potential, you're asking yourself. Well, yes. When they need someone to do something in a different department, I'm obvious. Maybe even something to do with supervising people. They make the mistake of assuming anybody who's good at their technical job would be a good supervisor and leader. Now think about this... we geeks get into computers at a young age, mostly to make money and avoid people. We get really good at our jobs (and avoiding people), so we're promoted to something we can't do or aren't interested in doing. This is the Peter Principle: you're promoted to the level of your own incompetence.
I get all sorts of spam about expanding your network. Nope - that's a social thing. I want to expand my paycheck, not my network. When they do promote someone like this, there are unintended consequences. Telling the group to take the day off, having Drunk Fridays, setting up the No Phone Answering Initiative, and stopping all meetings will only wind up pissing people off up the chain, then I won't get put back where I was happy - they'll just fire me.
And that is why I hate this ticketing software.
The NFL's Washington team is dropping cheerleaders in favor of a coed dance team. Didn't see that one coming. I wonder if we'll see a waltz and maybe a charleston.
The future just fell off its chair, laughing.
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