Your love is like stage 4 anal probes
Never ever ever, in your wildest, dreams and thoughts, even think about pissing off a woman. El Chapo's wife is going to rat out the cartel. Apparently he was unfaithful.
Hey, Chapo... now would be a good time to beg for American protection. Even a small hole, with cockroaches, would be safer... Saddam Hussein had one...
2021 Golden Globes?
Who cares?
- Eyes may show early warnings for Alzheimer's.
- The dems had this scientific breakthrough held til after the election
QAnon, the conspiracy group following Trump, says he will be made president again next week. I'm going out on a limb here and saying this won't happen. If it were to, it would come as quite a shock to the old guy in the White House. Most importantly, it would come as a real aneurysm creator for his voters. This part might be kinda funny. They've spent the last 4 years with their brains THIS close to popping out their ears already. Then Trump will be declared the loser and we'll might as well put Vermin Supreme in, where he belongs. I believe the gist here is that someone needs to cut off the flow of hallucinogenics to QAnon.
Speaking of which, an 800 year old Hebrew comment on the bible says Iran is going to bomb everyone, the messiah will be revealed, people will panic, and this will be before the Flying AIDS goes away.
We better keep these 2 groups apart or Trump will be revealed as the Messiah, and the democrats will bomb Iran. Close associates say Trump already thinks he's the Messiah.
Today I identify as that brown stuff under the dirty snow
L.A. police are looking into vandalism, fire at a Buddhist temple. Someone's afraid the Buddhists are going to come after them.
So that American Airlines plane that saw a ufo? This isn't the first time.
Told you so.
There is no snickering in the article. Watch for more of this. For whatever reason, someone has decided to let some truth out. Regardless, it's a psyop. We've been watching these since at least 1940, probably before.
- A news photographer reporting on a suspected outbreak of youth violence..... was attacked and seriously injured. Officials are charging attempted murder.
- Officials are closer than ever to claiming an outbreak of youth violence
My coworker called me the other day. "I don't mean to whine," (he means to whine) "but how's that project I asked for help with?" (dumped on you) "The boss said he wanted it done by Tuesday" (I wanted to get it done to look good for the boss). "I know you're a database specialist" (I'm too fat and lazy to take the free classes) so I thought you could help" (do my work for me). "We're a great team when we work together" (when you do my work for me) "and the boss appreciates it" (and I get credit for it all). "I always make sure to highlight the great work you've done" (sometimes forget to put your name on it).
I'm the guy who 'gets in' to work before his appointed time. That is, until Windows 10. Now we just take it for granted that I'll be 5-30 minutes late. When I shut down, there are naturally all sorts of updates. Ok, this is perfectly acceptable, so long as the option to shut down with updates is there. It isn't? Oh, Microsoft got tired of the charade where you'd tell it not to update and it would update anyway. So I tell it to shut down, it ignores me and updates. Bright and early Monday morning, I fire it up and... it has to process updates. DO NOT TURN OFF COMPUTER. It could have processed updates when it got them, but nooooo, it has to wait til work time. TURN OFF COMPUTER. GET A BETTER OPERATING SYSTEM.
- If you're sitting at your desk, and things just aren't right, and you find yourself going for that 2nd cup of coffee, take it from me: MOVE THE DECAF TO ANOTHER SHELF
Hackers tied to China and hackers tied to Russia's GRU have been in US systems for waaaaay too long. But here are ThermionicEmissions, we emphasize the positive. For instance, if you want to learn Russian, you save a file to the network named LEARN RUSSIAN and they'll get back to you post haste. You'll be learning Russian in no time. Chinese is a little more difficult. LEARN CHINESE will get you Mandarin, but China has more dialects than late shows have Trump jokes, so know this as you go in.
Pfizer and Moderna are getting ahead of the rush for a new trail aimed at boosting effectiveness of their vaccines against new Flying AIDS variants. This could wind up being a real bonanza for vaccine makers! We'd need a shot for each PANIC variant. At this point, you could be getting monthly shots. It would be your patriotic duty to line up for your shots, old people first. The manufacturers assure us they will make nothing on the shots. Pfizer and Moderna are quick to assure you that, as the variant shots come out monthly, the variants will speed up too, so it will be a daily cycle. Reps for Pfizer and Moderna cannot be reached, because they're partying like it's 1999.
- Leading Irish racehorse trainer Gordon Elliott says a photo circulating on social media of him sitting on a dead horse is real. He apologizes.
- We should have one day a week dedicated to apologies. Monday sounds good. This way, everybody who said something the Cancel Offended Brigade takes exception to can get right up there an apologize.
(British) Farmer A and Farmer B are having a chat. They're talking about the weather, families and expected yields.
Farmer A: Weather looks bout normal.
Farmer B: Yep. Clouds.
A: Sometimes I wonder why everything grown doesn't just wash out to sea.
B: sheep?
A: they're not grown
B: Yes they are
A: they're not planted
B: true. But if the ground goes out, the sheep are likely to go with them
A: true. (H)ouses too.
B: and monkeys
A: we don't grow monkeys
B: but if we did, oh boy they'd be dragging on by
A: you can't plant a monkey
B: sure you can
A: have you ever tried it?
B: err... no.
A: well how do you know?
B: Farmer C said he'd tried it
A: and you'd be ok substituting his word for actual experience?
B: well..... yes.
A: do you have any idea what's involved in planting monkeys? The variance from the council alone would bankrupt you, no less the picketing from the animal rights groups. Then you have to feed them. You can't go to the store and get Monkey Chow.
B: curry
A: you don't feed monkeys curry.
B: then what do you feed them?
A: well, bananas for one. This is a zero sum game, because you're either growing or buying bananas to feed the monkeys, what you planted a while ago.
B: you could plant a lot of bananas
A: you'd wind up with acres of bananas, most to feed the bleedin monkeys, which, as I said, can't be planted. An exercise in futility, it would be.
B: you know what's really an exercise in futility?
A: what?
B: crop circles
A: why
B: well, you wake up one morning and there's bleedin crop circles. I wouldn't plant them, no sir.
A: you don't plant crop circles.
B: listen, wisearse, if you don't plant them, then how they grow?
A: they don't grow... they kinda show up.
B: well then you might as well plant them.
A: you can't plant crop circles.
B: why not?
A: there are no crop circle seeds.
B: Farmer C has them.
A: have either of you done anything below ground level?
B: Yes. No. It's because of the bleedin crop circles.
A: what about them?
B: they take over your wheat
A: how so?
B: you plant fields of wheat, then in the morning, there's a bloody bleedin intricate crop circle. POOF - there goes your wheat. They just show up, they do, then they start lounging about, encouraging people. Because with the crop circles come the dowsers, the new age people, the press, and 20 people telling people that the crop circle they're standing in doesn't exist. There's less wheat than if everything ran off into the sea.
A: My last crop circle was on the news. I couldn't get a tractor up there for a solid week.
B: Maybe we should complain.
A: Oo you gonna complain to?
B: Ministry of Crop Circles?
A: nah, they closed up last year, along with the Ministry of Refrigerator Size, in the big NHS cutback.
B: what do they mean?
A: The Ministry of Crop Circles?
B: No, the crop circles.
A: some say they're a hoax. some say they're aliens, leaving us a message.
B: you know, it would be a lot more cost effective if they didn't leave it in our wheat.
A: Ay. And a lot more efficient if they just spelled it out in letters, rather than this vague circle nonsense. Better yet, they could just talk to Boris, or someone intelligent.
B: yeah, this Vague Routine is wearing thin.
A: It makes one quite discouraged, especially the farmers.
B: I've got an idea.
A: what?
B: we could plant monkeys.
Toyota is recalling some of its cars, due to their unfortunate habit of catching fire, sometimes while parked. If you remember, Tesla was having this problem recently. Rather than be public about this, I believe the car companies should keep this quiet. If not, pretty soon, all the car companies will feature exploding vehicles. Ford, Chevy, Nissan will all have to get their explosive chops up to speed. They will have to start hiring munitions and demolitions experts, which will do wonders for the economy, as there has been little work for them during the Flying AIDS pandemic. I'm happy to say Hyundai is on the ball.. the other day I got a recall notice because my car does not spontaneously combust. They want to do a retrofit, so we'll have that feature. And it's all free. This is the Korean-American spirit: if you can't beat 'em, make a bigger fire.
I hate to say something positive on this blog... it kinda kills the atmosphere... but I calls em as I sees em... We have had 2 major disruptions in payment systems recently: 1 with the major clearing bank for all transfers, and 1 with an outage for a payment processor. Both were serious. The processor outage affected Chik Filet, among others. Not flinching, Chik Filet served free food. If they were only open Sundays...
Chik Filet is where the employees come rushing out to meet Penny when Mrs. lefty is in the car line. I like their food. And now I'm hungry....
SJW SPUNK
School districts are canceling Dr Seuss for "racial undertones"
BURN THEM! BURN THEM!
Analytics vendor Splunk has followed up on its 2020 decision to stop using the terms “master” and “slave” with a new guide to writing “unbiased documentation”.
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