The Dog Still Won't Take the Trash Out and other gas station hits

 Your love is like  sushi cooked in the sun for a few days

Your government is getting ready for that $1.9 trillion bailout. Still no word on who is paying for it. The debt is larger than the economy for the first time ever. Congress shows no inclination to do anything about it, other than expand it. You voted for this. This will continue until you do something about it.

Today I identify as  the great flavor of hot oats

Look, there's no surprise we're in an extra-speedy race to the bottom in something called a handbasket.. but...  people are thinking about vaccines. A large percentage are not getting a shot... people are thinking! It's unprecedented. Not automatically getting in line like good sheep. Who woulda thought?  That said, I hope the vaccine works and there are no bad side effects.

Oh yeah, since we've been inside for a year, the next issue will be skin cancer - use your sunscreen when you get the mail.

• The best states to live in list: Washington best, Kentucky worst
• I guess Washington needs some drunken tractor races 

THE BIRDS 

They're making an incredible racket. The dog is not happy. Yes, they got into the air conditioning hose. Now it sounds like there's birds in the bedroom. I'm kinky, but not that kinky. May have to go with a finer-grained approach than shotgun this time.

You know this happened 15 minutes before the alarm went off.

Ghislaine Maxwell's US jail conditions 'are torture' - brother

• no linen toilet paper
• plastic silverware - can you imagine? 
• below one star food
• no sleep number mattress
• constant surveillance  (until it coincidentally breaks)
• everything is decorated in one color
• Two Words: boxed. wine.

Russia has given the finger to NASA, signing on with China for a Moon base.

They are working on a "scientific" station. They are putting the infrastructure in for very high speed internet, so they can both hack the US government together. Countries around the world hailed this as a genuine example of cooperation, and asked for a few tips and passwords. Many countries of Earth look forward to the day when everybody will be in US government networks, equally.

China will also be moving manufacturer Huawei to the scientific station, alongside Russian manufacturer Stolichnetwork. They will trade networking hardware and hack Space Force's scientific station, a sprawling complex of buildings that has been on the Moon since 1960. 

Back in America, the Pentagon has announced a $24 trillion initiative to beef up the US Moon scientific station with new, state of the art weapons, in order to achieve military superiority over any other scientific stations. This was discussed last year at a meeting of the Subcommittee on the Peaceful Uses of Outer Space.

On the other side of the moon, the aliens are peeing in their suits and sounding the Solar System Bat Alert because the Earthlings are moving their penchant for tribal warfare off-planet. Pretty soon other alien races will start to orbit the Moon and destroy it, to keep the human virus from infecting anything past its own planet.

NASA bombed the Moon twice: once for Science, to see how long it would ring, and once because it was "damn effin cool to bomb your own moon". Rather than admit aliens blew up the Moon, NASA will say it spontaneously combusted, like a Tesla.

• Psych evaluation ordered for man caught having sex with stuffed animals inside Target. In Florida.
• (ex-)girlfriend told him to go f- a unicorn 

the actual unicorn

I don't want to say my workplace is weird, but there is a mask mandate for all employees. Including the majority who work from home. I don't want to say we like to waste time, but I missed the Women in the Workplace seminar, that I'd get paid to sit through. Still no left handed history month.

• NASCAR driver Conor Daly lost a major sponsor because his father used a racial slur in the 80s.

New gay dad Jesse Tyler is playing Britney Spears and reading books on drag queens to his baby. But he'll love him if he comes out as straight anyway, said on the Ellen show.     @lgbtqnation

"Dad, I have something to tell you. Please sit down. I know you have raised me with all the love and best intentions possible. In spite of that, I need to tell you something. Dad, I'm straight. I'm so sorry. I hope I haven't disappointed you." 

--> Hang on a second... playing Britney Spears for infants is child abuse.

The other day I asked if Derek Chauvin could get a fair trial. Here are the questions asked of potential jurors. They got 14 pages of them. 

Amanda Gorman's The Hill We Climb stole the show at Joe Biden's presidential inauguration but when a renowned Dutch author was asked to translate her work there was an outcry because the translator is not black.

• FYI: A smart-speaker box can monitor your heartbeat using high-pitch beeps and a pinch of algorithm – study
• doesn't seem to be any end to what your smart speaker knows....

Matthew McConaughy considers run for TX governor, Geraldo considers OH senate.

Voters write-in Lucy, Mickey Mouse, ManBearPig, Prince Harry

• Florida is the worst state to walk, with more than 17 people per day, on average, being mowed down. We are very slowly coming to the realization of what I've said all along - exercise causes cancer.

Milo Yiannopoulos, gay conservative icon, has prayed his gay away and dedicated  his life to St. Joseph. This is terrible news, both for people who think you can pray your gay away, and fans of the very silly entertainer Milo. He drove campuses apoplectic, with his conservative viewpoints and humor. I watched him once enter on a platform chair, carried by 4 men. The man was truly entertaining and very intelligent; he blew away his debaters (so to speak). He was canceled by social media due to his outspoken conservative views, not his homosexuality.

He is treating being gay like an addiction, mentioning he only slipped once in 250 days. It ain't gonna work, Milo. Unless this is a stunt. [Milo goes back in]

I looked up St. Joseph. Wow. Not the father of Jesus but could have been a contender. Married to Mary, with a chaste marriage. Hey, was it a marriage for show because he needed a beard? Maybe dedicating your life to St. Joesph sounds good and Christian, but it's just affirming you're gay. The Christian hate mail is going to blow up my mailbox.

I guess it's better than that ridiculous womb repatriation where they wrap people in carpeting, sometimes killing them. Whatever happened to good old therapy for depression or bipolar or wanting to off certain people? Being a megalomaniac?

• Parler, right-wing social media dropped from Google Play store, Apple store, Visa, and their hosting, has been refused re-entry to the Apple store. 
• I'm not sure why anyone is confused over this. If they played by the rules, like Twitter, YouTube, Reddit, and others, and didn't have any of that nasty hate/free speech, none of this would be a problem.
• Gab, the original free speech network, was hacked a 2nd time. They went offline, cleaned up, and went back online. 
• Re-NOTE: I am for free speech and affirm hate speech doesn't exist - it's free speech. Free speech can mean speech I'm not comfortable with, but that's the price we pay. It is very important to have free speech for all and I'd have featured this same information if the left-leaning sites were being canceled.

I had a pleasant discussion, sort-of, with a gay lady on Twitter. Women have really been pushing the Women in IT topic. She wanted everyone to know she's here and she's queer. Well, I follow her for her tweets. I don't give a rat's patootie about what she chooses to do in her spare time. It's none of my business and more importantly, none of the government's business. Why is it necessary to identify as someone who sleeps with the same sex at home? I don't identify by my sexuality - I'm here, I'm Hetero. She said she does this because of laws. Still no left handed history month.

While I'm on the topic, why does the state government make laws about who you can marry? Why is it their business? The state can act as registrar, and take down the fact that you're married and to whom. Two states just recognized polyamorous marriages. Let your religious institution marry you, if you care. Otherwise, just register.

• No matter how many times a day Penny gets out of bed, she always runs up to me, incredibly happy to see me. You can't pay for this kind of wonderful.

CONTEST 

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It Continues  

Disney+ pulls Dumbo, Peter Pan, The Aristocats for 'racist' stereotypes

from Giorgio Tsoukalos, on Twitter