American Air Sees UFOs but Still Won't Let My Service Elephant Fly

 Your love is like  hydrochloroflouromethane

• One thing the Flying AIDS taught us is that we touch our faces 103 times a day
• we touch other people's faces 104 times a day
• we touch our genitals 105 times a day 

Today the president continued work on solidifying the $1.9 trillion bailout bill. When asked how we're going to pay for this, he said, "I'm going to Disneyland!"

The city lay in ruins. The remnants of the last four snowstorms still on the ground, mostly washed away by the rains. It would be washed away by the clouds, if the clouds could wash away the snow. Perhaps the temps while the clouds were out helped wash away the snow. We had a day in which it was merely sunny, in recent memory. This, too, helped wash away the snow. Watering your lawn in winter helps was away the snow, and the Crazy Lady was out there, replacing the snow with ice. So we've established there are many things that can possibly wash away the snow.

I was worried and suspicious this morning, when I sensed sun. Sun unblocked (fully) from clouds. I didn't know what to do with myself. All was revealed when I got down the steps, to work, and saw the wind advisories. This also explained the neighborhood children flying by my window (normally they just walk, or proceed at a quicker pace). Out of the corner of my eye, I think I saw a Volkswagen fly by, but the doctors told me to ignore anything I see out of the corners of my eyes. People whose bodies can tell the weather are borderline crippled today. You know.. arthritis or fibromyalgia. Small wonder older folks love the Southwest. My body can barely tell day from night, but I like the Southwest too. Plainly stated, humidity sucks, and boy do we have an excess of it... I think the barometer has something to do with people hurting, and I'm told they have no barometer in the Southwest.

Of course the weather is never certain, but I believe we have locusts tomorrow.. or was it vape shops.... I never remember.

We're still enjoying our talking answering machine. I didn't see the box, but it's definitely guaranteed to pronounce every name incorrectly, including my own. For this level of amusement, it should just make a fart noise every time somebody calls - farts are universal humor among men and enlightened women. When NASA finally admits there are Martians, we will find they, too, think farts are funny (through whatever orifice they come). 

The Martians have been busy with the new rover, this time putting the wrong size windshield wiper blades on it. Whenever they turn on, all they do it smear the dirt around. This proves there are very few differences between our races. 

Today I identify as a successful blogger

[do you realize when I become huge, you can tell everybody you were here before I was popular? that you made me successful?]

Mitt Romney is the latest politician to sport a black eye and stitches, this time from an alleged fall. Being a politician seems to come with some disastrous issues, like the pretzel that almost killed Bush the Less Intelligent, Harry Reid's recent black eye, and Mitch McConnell's purple bruises all over the place. I think they should just opt for assassination attempts, like Reagan. By the way, Reagan's shooter was well-acquainted with the Bushes. So the rest of the politicians are either nervous, or standing in line to get their injury, as they stood in line for their Flying AIDS vaccine. The only mystery here is who's giving out the bruises.

• States are easing their virus restrictions. Even Royal Caribbean is fully vaccinated, and their vacationers now consist of lottery players and voters who think politicians care. 

New York's governor Cuomo is in the middle of a sexual harassment shitstorm. The way to curb this type of behavior is to throw him in jail with the rest of the population, where he will learn the definition of sexual harassment. 

The Boy Scouts are offering the boys they abused $6,000 each. The boys are not amused. Still no word from the Catholic church. We will have live aliens in press conferences before word from the Catholic church.

• Today's sudden discovery about the Flying AIDS jab is that it may be less effective if you're fat. So don't be fat, ok?

In "Stuff we've done to the environment" department, horny toads are disappearing. Apparently the scientists have never been in a bar near closing time.

• Today is the day QAnon says Trump will be president again.
• So put on your safety belts and wear something dark, in case heads explode
• also, be on the lookout for Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Boy, if you think the Flying AIDS stressed the hospital system, imagine what an immediate Trump re-presidency would do. Regular old hospitals would have to be converted into mental wards. Antidepressant prescriptions would go through the roof. HEY... maybe QAnon is just a cover for Big Pharma. The government would have to put resources into getting mental health counselors on every corner. We'd need to put nets around all buildings over 3 stories in case of jumpers. We'd also need bandages for people who jumped from 1 story buildings. Hollywood would shut down for at least 4 years (there's always a silver lining). CNN would finally have something to do, as would late night shows.

Either way we're bombing Syria.

Police made over 20,000 requests for video from Ring doorbells/cameras last year. You can't even walk down the block without being video'd. Both of these things should bother you.

Know what's great about being an (alleged) adult?

I can have two YooHoo juice boxes if I want 

Two Nigerian nurses were attacked by the family of a deceased COVID-19 patient. One nurse had her hair ripped out and suffered a fracture. The second was beaten into a coma.

The attack in Nigeria early last month was just one of many on health workers globally during the COVID-19 pandemic. A new report by the Geneva-based Insecurity Insight and the University of California, Berkeley’s Human Rights Center identified more than 1,100 threats or acts of violence against health care workers and facilities last year.

This is your brain on ignorance. If Nigeria wants to kill health workers, tell the health workers to go home. When they have a fire, do they try to kill the firemen? When President Biden was told about this, he shook his head and said to Kamilla, "Remind me to start a war there."

Far right social media platform Gab was hacked.

Everything was accessed, including private messages.

This was Attack of the SJWs, attempting to show the press what they didn't like about GAB, that there were white supremacists and other unsavory groups on the service.

NOW I'm good and fired up. 

There is no secret that Gab is far right, and has unsavory (but strictly legal) characters.

You see, I've been a member of Gab for years. Just like Twitter, I mute what I don't like and enjoy what I do. There are a lot of really nice people there, who are sick of Twitter and social media's left-bias. 

I am not far right. I am not unsavory (well, maybe on weekends). I am not a white supremacist. Yes this snotty, do-gooding, smug SJW is going to use my data as an example. This is a prime example of what happens when people take the law into their own hands. The law exists for a reason and attempts to subvert it should be prosecuted. Gab has had more than its share of negative press and chances to prove itself legal, and a First Amendment champion. Because this SJW calls foul, people's information and private chats are now in the hands of others. The people who run these groups are anonymous, otherwise they'd be made an example of. Ironic. I don't support either action. If the government had a problem with anything on Gab, they could submit a request for information.

Gab has had trouble ever since they started, because they're free speech and organizations and people don't like free speech. They've had problems with providers, hosts, and even payment systems. The owner and his wife have had their personal credit smeared because of this.

Free speech is sometimes speech with which you don't agree. A certain segment of the population believes only their speech should be protected.

/END RANT

Gab should also know better than to not have their Security Stuff in order.

/END ADDENDUM RANT

So I'm watching a show that claims people are unearthing these types of remains in Peru:

Their immediate thought was aliens. My immediate thought is that there weren't many guitar players in this species. Long fingers are nice, but only 3 could hamper your playing. As they're around 1800 years old, my point may be moot.

We do not exist just to make light of current and other events, no sir. Sometimes we tackle the Science, even if Fauci is not involved to call it Science. Today, marshmallows.

The cuttlefish [I've got a nice cuttlefish for you if you wake up, Pollllllyy] has shown that it can delay gratification for a greater reward.

Scientists administered an adapted version of the Stanford marshmallow test to cuttlefish and found that the cephalopods could delay gratification—that is, wait a bit for preferred prey rather than settling for a less desirable prey

how did they explain it to the cuttlefish? They don't read, you know.

 

[study] involved 600 kids between the ages of four and six, all culled from Stanford University's Bing Nursery School. He would give each child a marshmallow and give them the option of eating it immediately if they chose. But if they could wait 15 minutes, they would get a second marshmallow as a reward. Then Mischel would leave the room, and a hidden video camera would tape what happened next.

This is a study that could only have taken place at that time. Taping kids today will put you in a Bad Place, possibly even in public office.

 

Some kids just ate the marshmallow right away. Others found a handy distraction: covering their eyes, kicking the desk, or poking at the marshmallow with their fingers. Some smelled it, licked it, or took tiny nibbles around the edges. Roughly one-third of the kids held out long enough to earn a second marshmallow.

The study does not mention whether the lickers were considered to have held out. Are they smarter for having licked but not eaten the treat?

 

Several years later, Mischel noticed a strong correlation between the success of some of those kids later in life (better grades, higher self-confidence) and their ability to delay gratification in nursery school.

Following children around is also strongly frowned upon these days.  Again, does this include the lickers? Following lickers around is even more strongly discouraged.  A 2020 study was performed with Oreos and vanilla cookies with German and Kenyan schoolchildren (because they don't have Oreos in Kenya. Anyone who stayed awake in history knows it's a poor country. Please send more aid). The study came up with the same result. Once again, nowhere in the study is there a comparison between studies with Oreos and studies with marshmallows. This is the level of student our schools are turning out. A truly comprehensive study would include marshmallow cookies.

Cuttlefish is third cousin to octopi and squid, more distantly related to the elbow.

The test itself involved 3d printing, non-fishy symbols, and live grass shrimp. The cuttlefish was really sweaty and had a banger of a headache by the time the test had ended.

The study did not include my dog. Given a bowl of food, she will sniff, leave, and look around for something better.

So, from taping children to confusing cuttlefish, thus goes the progression of Science.

• Malaysia disclosed a nine year long data breach
• how do you think we kept the fares so low?