Very proud of myself today. It's Saturday, at least according to my computer, and I've only taken one nap! It started right after I got up early (1pm) and ran til 5:30. This was a pretty successful nap, in that after I got up, I only wanted to go back a little. The sun is shining, the temperature is high, and there is always time for more napping.
The air conditioner was insufficient for the room and old, so we somehow wound up with an indoor unit. Wound Up is how we get most things here. I don't ask for much (and that's exactly what I get), but Mrs lefty has this bizarre way of making things appear. One day there's a box on the front step that nobody heard being delivered. Then the actual delivery (she bakes for the UPS guy). The most wondrous of these is the Appearance Box. I'll walk into a room and there will be a box by the door. Sometimes it's a little envelope, most times it's at least the size of a basketball. Recently, they've been the size of small refrigerators. This are the most alarming kind. Not only are they large; they're heavy, they're probably expensive, and they undoubtedly require me to do something with them. One of the largest was this floor air conditioner. I was happy that it wasn't the weight of a small refrigerator - it was the weight of two small refrigerators. One had to admit - it was shiny, black, and futuristic looking - what everyone wants in air conditioning.
The box sat by the door because it needed to be installed, which, as I said, required me to do something with it. I successfully refused to see it, making it a non-entity and releasing myself from having to do anything with it. One day the bodily threats became so loud and so frightening that I had to get moving. You know me - I don't like moving.
The first problem was getting it up the steps. Neither of us can blink, transport, wiggle our noses, or point the device up the steps. There were 2 hand holes, which I tried out to determine I would have to have 2 more hands to move the device. She appears with a hand truck. It had no motor, thus it wasn't going to work. I got the device on the hand truck, at which point we discovered the box had wheels (oh, joy), so it could slip while on the truck. Then we discovered our steps had lips, so pulling anything over them was much much harder. Then there was Stuff on the steps. We eventually made it, the crippled lady and the newly-crippled guy. The only positive thing I can say was the dog was not 'helping'.
If I remember correctly, it's a Delonghi, or some other Ferrari-like inversion. The directions were interesting. You know about instructions, right? The worse being Ikea. These had numbers, line drawings of the parts, and brief english instructions. Take part 4 and put it in part 5. That was pretty simple, but you had no idea what it was supposed to look like or which side of part 5 you used. It went on like this for a while. And when I say 'went on like this for a while,' I mean it was an extended visit to Hell, like kissing Nancy Pelosi. Every step could not be executed by normal humans, experienced installers, or employees of Delonghi. It was the kind of assembly that makes one think deeply about their potentially incorrect decision to live. It wasn't broken at all. It's just nothing connected to anything else. Ever screw a large piece of plastic onto a 6" hose that doesn't bend? Ends that don't match other ends. I have to give them credit - it was black and shiny. After 30 minutes of trying to make one connection, Mrs lefty gave up and located her BRAND NEW EXCELLOTAPE, GUARANTEED TO FIX HOLES IN YOUR OIL TANKER. IN FACT, WE BUILT AN INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILE out of this and it launched without any leaks! I shook my head.
Before this, the window air conditioner had to come out. To our amusement (?), it didn't want to come out, like a tooth. I had my normal reaction: I WANT THIS THING DEAD - PLEASE VIDEO ME THROWING IT OUT THE WINDOW. She found what hung it up and I removed it. I sing much higher now. Since we did a lot of yelling, Penny got to show off her newest talent, barking like mad when one of us sounds mad. We had to lock her out of the room, which is the worst thing you can do to a cocker. All I had to do was replace the old unit with a small panel, to vent the new unit. It was about 4" tall, so none of this was an issue. Until, of course, we went to connect the hose to the bracket, at which point the bracket fell out of the window. I am not a very smart person, but I know when I'm done, and I was done (before I started). There were literally 6 steps to get the little bastard going, and only the part about plugging in to the outlet went well. 30 minutes and a soaked shirt later, Mrs lefty had the thing together and cooling the room. I applauded and gave her all credit for her masterful work. I didn't look, and will let this thing run by magic. I just hope the tape that was used instead of each step holds. Just thinking about it makes me want to nap......
Earlier this week, a woman was arrested for assaulting her husband with a hamburger. I'll spare you the meaty details, but I keep trying to get arrested for assaulting my wife with a sausage. [I am very sorry for that and promise not to do it again (this week)]
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Mrs lefty's sister has a wonderful, large, slobbering Boxer, who loves everybody. He will leap on anyone and he's got 100lbs behind him. When she comes to visit, the dog sits quietly by the door. When she arrives, the dog very carefully says hello .... he's aware that she has some physical difficulties and is very gentle with her. After the welcome, he comes back with the toy she gave him. Dogs are unbelievable.
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