It's magnificent outside. This is just another magnificent day. It's been like this, except for the day 400,000 people lost power. All this great weather has people happy. Naturally I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Luck like this always comes with a price tag: I'm just looking around, wondering what the next weather aberration will be. We had a mild winter, and we're just above middle Atlantic, so it could snow. We did hurricanes and tornadoes last week. Rain is as present as bad game shows (redundant, I know). Maybe all the leaves will fall overnight, producing quite a surprise tomorrow morning. The dog is running around her yard, keeping the area safe from motorcycles and rodents. She's also eating birds, and her latest snack; bumblebees.
I'm reading last night and Wife puts on a bad game show called Tag. Tag. Tag?
I watched parts of the player intros, and boy were they scary. Men with more muscles than hair, women with more muscles with hair. Some of the women were downright... what's the word..... frightening. People can bench press hundreds of pounds, but I don't want a woman who can bench press me. Or whose penis is bigger than mine.
If Tag becomes popular, expect Celebrity Hopscotch, Washed Up Celebrity Charades, World of Wiffleball, Congressional Hide and Seek, and Military Eyebrow Plucking! This is just the first week.
Currently, Mrs lefty, who might have bumped her head, is watching the Game Show Network. Game Show Network ain't what you think. In fact, it has a surprise: the game shows are reruns. Reruns from the 1970s. You can watch strangely-dressed people, bizarre washed-up 70s stars. and prizes that will have you howling.. a Ford Pinto. A stereo console with separate speakers and an 8 track player! A washing machine. A plaid sofa (that looks like it got burned in a fire). As a history project, it's hysterical. Otherwise, it's like archaeology: the people doing it don't always understand what they dug up. You also make a fairly good assumption that the contestants, hosts, and washed up stars are all dead. You're watching history! The contestants are almost uniformly ugly, and their 70s clothing makes you want to crawl up the ceiling, like when you try to do your tax returns. 1 in 40 are actually kinda cute. Think about it: the cutie contestant is now a great grandmother. Or dead.*
I'm told there's a current one called Match Game. Once again, there is not an original thought in Hollywood. Match Game ran through the 70's, I believe. The title differed by the year... Match Game 73, Match Game 78, etc. Hollywood is reviving a game show that's roughly 50 years old. I can't wait for Star Wars 97 - The Latest Sequel. And Star Trek 104, where Kirk discovers Viagra; Spock gets phased (on stun), loses his memory, and makes a nice home with Sulu.
* I try to be scrupulously honest, so I want to make a correction: all of the celebrities on the game shows are not dead.. one was Betty White.
** In post-nuclear 2051, the cockroaches will be the only ones left alive. Except for that one house in Hollywood, where Betty White is shacked up. With Keith Richards.
No comments:
Post a Comment