Hey, how about that next version of the Apple watch (WatchOS 7)? It comes with a health tracker. JUST STOP IT. Dump the entire company. Android is no better, but at least you can firewall the bad places off.
STOP BENDING MY PIZZA
Scientists discover 9 new insect species
- Flies and stuff
- some waspy things
- Trumpisperia - bigass fly that's good. Very good.
- those ones in Burbank, CA
- M. Bidenum - short lifespan, spends most of its time sleeping
- N. Pelosus - has worker bees build very large hive, won't let them inside
- J. Brownus - the hardest working bee in hive business
- U. Cobainus - very short lifespan. Keeps flying into anything vertical
- Q. Elizabethus - born 94 years old, the only fly that is born with a hat. Turns into an alien wasp when angered.
The game Fortnite has removed all police cars from the game after BLM protests against police violence. Pre-emptive kowtowing?
Some place or team in England called Burnley got a bit embarrassed when, over their stadium flew a plane, carrying a banner that said "White Lives Matter Burnley" If the UK were allowed to carry, they'd have shot the plane down. Instead, they threw box cutters at it. 10 injured on the ground, plane ok.
Robbers used to hold up people with guns.
Now they use temperature-taking guns.
It never fails. Every single purchase I make online has glitches or fails completely. Last night was no different. A very large corporation that rhymes with Mamazon wanted to verify me. I went in loops, trying to do what they asked, to no avail. Mind you, I've been a customer forever. Then it wouldn't let me purchase any of the items in my cart. A purchase at another site went well, then dumped me to PayPal, which promptly lost everything in my cart. Twice. I couldn't even save my Mamazon cart because I couldn't sign in. The worst is still tickets for concerts. My entire neighborhood insists on a warning when I have to order tickets, so they can be elsewhere for a few hours. They even take their pets.
I suspect these companies date barnyard animals.
Jeff Bezos (God - Amazon) not only has more money than God, he has an interesting sense of humor. Rather than telling billions of customers they can't order anything online, he decided to put up a site, with billions of products, including products from other retailers, mostly in China, which take 6 weeks to arrive. After browsing and very careful consideration (of which area in China you prefer to ship), you load up your virtual cart. The virtual cart is virtually a real life cart, but can't pass the Flying AIDS to you, and doesn't require cleaning. It may still have that one retarded wheel, though. In real life you stand in line (to stand in line) to get to the cashier and pay. Amazon is very similar, but you get to your checkout quickly, and there's something wrong. Always. Chrissie the cashier has to keep calling Manglement because nothing's priced. It's all priced at Mamazon, but you'll never get anywhere. The bag boy locally is a wonderful corporate gift: they hire the developmentally delayed people (now there's going to be a BLM protest outside my house because I didn't use this week's PC term for these folks. Well, it will be a peaceful riot - I'll tell them to bring instruments and I'll play guitar. I will also sing - badly. This will end the protest quickly). Oddly enough, they pack your stuff better than the bubblegum-chewing Tina's. Mamazon has no packers because even though you think you can check out, you never will. The people behind the scenes have so much fun, they can't believe they get paid for their jobs. As soon as a cart comes to checkout, they have a choice of 100 codes to screw up checking out and payment. I can't list them all because the doctors tell me to avoid stress.
Speaking of doctors, they told me to get a certain test. I called the testing place, asking about insurance, and she laughed. She told me it would only be $500. Then it was my turn to laugh.
Speaking of doctors, I used to go to the dentist as if he were just taking my blood pressure. Injections terrified me, but I didn't look at them, so I wasn't bothered. Then I went to see Dr Mengele. He wasn't as sadistic as he was supposed to be. But he really scared the snot out of me. Well, not him specifically.. the entire trip and everything about it. I have no idea what happened to me, but I wanted OUT. Fight or flight kicked in while in the chair, and I found the lower half of my body trying desperately to escape. That would create quite a sensation, especially if it left the top half of my body behind. It could still think independently because my brain is in my pants.
I suspect these companies date barnyard animals.
Jeff Bezos (God - Amazon) not only has more money than God, he has an interesting sense of humor. Rather than telling billions of customers they can't order anything online, he decided to put up a site, with billions of products, including products from other retailers, mostly in China, which take 6 weeks to arrive. After browsing and very careful consideration (of which area in China you prefer to ship), you load up your virtual cart. The virtual cart is virtually a real life cart, but can't pass the Flying AIDS to you, and doesn't require cleaning. It may still have that one retarded wheel, though. In real life you stand in line (to stand in line) to get to the cashier and pay. Amazon is very similar, but you get to your checkout quickly, and there's something wrong. Always. Chrissie the cashier has to keep calling Manglement because nothing's priced. It's all priced at Mamazon, but you'll never get anywhere. The bag boy locally is a wonderful corporate gift: they hire the developmentally delayed people (now there's going to be a BLM protest outside my house because I didn't use this week's PC term for these folks. Well, it will be a peaceful riot - I'll tell them to bring instruments and I'll play guitar. I will also sing - badly. This will end the protest quickly). Oddly enough, they pack your stuff better than the bubblegum-chewing Tina's. Mamazon has no packers because even though you think you can check out, you never will. The people behind the scenes have so much fun, they can't believe they get paid for their jobs. As soon as a cart comes to checkout, they have a choice of 100 codes to screw up checking out and payment. I can't list them all because the doctors tell me to avoid stress.
Speaking of doctors, they told me to get a certain test. I called the testing place, asking about insurance, and she laughed. She told me it would only be $500. Then it was my turn to laugh.
Speaking of doctors, I used to go to the dentist as if he were just taking my blood pressure. Injections terrified me, but I didn't look at them, so I wasn't bothered. Then I went to see Dr Mengele. He wasn't as sadistic as he was supposed to be. But he really scared the snot out of me. Well, not him specifically.. the entire trip and everything about it. I have no idea what happened to me, but I wanted OUT. Fight or flight kicked in while in the chair, and I found the lower half of my body trying desperately to escape. That would create quite a sensation, especially if it left the top half of my body behind. It could still think independently because my brain is in my pants.
I can't think of a bad reason to work at home. Until today.
I could have been at my actual workplace today, answering my wife's call. She would've asked me if I know the flat rate for snaking a drain was $400. I did not know that. She would've called me back with the estimate of $950. I did not know that either. When it was all cleaned up, Plumber Math<tm> turned the 950 into $1100. That phone call definitely was better at work.
---------------------------------------
I was looking for a good one-liner for this spot....
Windows Phone
---------------------------------------
Bubba Wallace, NASCAR driver, found a noose in his team garage.
There's no excuse for this.
Today, the entire roll call of the Geico 500 marched with Bubba, pushing Bubba and his car down the track. All lives matter. Your family is your blood, whether family of birth or family of choice.
There's a black man called Bubba?
Usually Bubba is the guy hanging the black man.
There's no excuse for this.
Today, the entire roll call of the Geico 500 marched with Bubba, pushing Bubba and his car down the track. All lives matter. Your family is your blood, whether family of birth or family of choice.
There's a black man called Bubba?
Usually Bubba is the guy hanging the black man.
Dogs are the greatest sentient life to evolve. Plus they're a lot easier to raise; even the weird ones. After we adopt them, they become weird ones.
Mrs lefty sprung a nasty surprise on me and is going visiting.
Since it was late notice, I haven't procured a babysitter. Or anyone stupid enough to take the job. If any of you are local..... no offense, but I'd prefer the female readers. CIS hetero white male and card-carrying member of the Patriarchy. In fact I'm not just white, I'm very white. I'm so white, most of my body has never seen the sun. I do look out the window now and then, to see if there's any sun. Does that count?
 |
| it's almost like he knew... |
No comments:
Post a Comment