Apparently the precautions weren't enough, as most of them are sick too. Talk about computer viruses... Most of them work anyway, and why not - they barely get anything done when they're well. In fact, their productivity has actually gone up, the theory being they have little energy for social media, so they focus on work. Of course there's little that can be done while sleeping, but to emphasize the positive, it keeps their stupid ideas to a minimum. We just have to mute their mics to keep the snoring down in meetings.
Speaking of meetings, my boss has officially driven his staff insane with meetings. People have their communication styles, like email, text, and smoke signals. Boss' style is meetings. He actually told us he can't get anything done because he's in meetings all day. I guess some people just can't learn from their mistakes (or won't). I often wonder what it's like at his house....
BOSS: Kids, Louella, get up or you'll miss the Wakeup Meeting.
EVERYONE: Aw, do we have to?
BOSS: We have to start off the day right. I need Sleep Stats, the Breakfast Report, and progress since last night's Sleep Meeting.
EVERYONE: Grumble
BOSS: Hailey, you were in charge of the Sleep Project. How many hours did everyone get and what was the delta from the previous evening, as well as in general?
- I must be starting to feel better... I'm blogging. My apologies for missing many posts, but sickness took it out of me, plus I wasn't getting any (not that this was odd).
Don't ask me what's wrong, but the Meeting Factor has gone through the roof this week. If it's not your regular brain-seizing, concrete-melting, attention swallowing meetings, there's a bit of 'training' about. Training is a process in which a cleverly-disguised salesperson gives a few days' technical presentation on something you've never seen before and definitely never want to come in contact with. In fact, you'd prefer it not to occupy the same state, country, or planet on which you reside.
One of the meetings came up really short, so the entire group sat there, looking around, wondering what to do. We were saved by a pop-up meeting that sucked up all the rest of our time before leaving. I don't want to talk out of school, but the boss wet his boxers when he heard about the fill-in meeting.
You see, meetings aren't just horrid wastes of time, guaranteed to make your brain stop processing forever. Meetings become their own living monsters. They pry open your skull and use a cheese grater to shave your brain down to a perfect square. They throw so much garbage at you that your brain can no longer process input, even when the end of the meeting comes and the next meeting is being planned. And there will always be some useful idiot who asks questions, prompting another discussion that will last 47 minutes and mean nothing to no one. Working from home provides the added benefit of drinking. You can run a large drink right into your veins or just take huge gulps while the circus continues. If you're poorly-behaved, like me, no one will notice a few extra (drunken) outbursts. I used to wait until work was over before drinking, but these constant meetings are taking their toll on me. The other day I started at 4:00. Then 9 am. Coworkers tell me to start at 8am; the day is much smoother if you're pre-loaded, they tell me. Since we don't use video, it's much harder to catch me weaving and falling over.
- People get caught doing it in public toilets. Sure, a bit of fun for everyone. What I want to know is who calls the police? Some dried-up old hag who hasn't seen it in over 30 years? Or some old pervert who couldn't convince the couple to include him in the fun.
