It's Never Too Early (to Be Late)

From Austin, Texas to the world (and back to Houston) here's Stevie Ray Vaughan, playing Texas Flood.

• If I understand this correctly, the lovely FLOTUS got on a plane for Houston and the press blew up because she was wearing heels. This is what passes for journalism (and political discourse). The real fun came later in the day, when Boy George said he wouldn't hear of Melania bashing.
• Ladies and gentlemen, we are observing history as it happens... the republican party is inclusive of gays. Some gays are voting republican. A musician has said something positive about a republican. Republicans are repeating what he said. The whole world has gone topsy-turvy. Dogs sleeping with cats, sun blocked out, people with eye injuries after the sun was blocked out...
• The dems are automatically obstructing everything, having taken over for the republicans, who did it during Obama.
• No, nothing's going to change as far as we are concerned: we'll still get screwed.  But if someone told you, twenty years ago, that gays and republicans would be playing together nicely, you would have had them committed for their own good.

Selena Gomez's Instagram account was hacked, resulting in nude pictures of Justin Bieber being displayed for a short period of time. This is not related to The Fappening and the account was restored quickly. These celebrity accounts are falling like dominoes. Funny as it may be, if you don't take security seriously enough, you will be next. I don't care how many Bieber nudes you have - I don't want to see them.

• With the Horrors in Houston, once again Amateur Radio has stepped up and helped. Like 9-11 and Katrina, these amateurs (hams) put their operational skills to work. Radio works when cells go down or are overloaded. It works locally to globally. Even the government (uh-oh) recognizes the value and has contributed financially to the effort.

The hearing-impaired dog just went off like an alarm, in Attack Mode<tm>. The mailman showed up. Normally Marshall sleeps by the door, just feet away from the mailman. Today he happened to be monitoring from another spot and actually saw the home invader mailman, setting off the Dog Alarm. I haven't heard that in a long time. It was nice and everything, but I didn't really miss it.

• The Definition of Marriage: I get homicidal when I hear JG Wentworth commercials. So she sings along with them.

The NYPD will be tossing 36,000 Windows phones after a year because Microsoft has decided not to support the phones. Way to go, Microsoft! Do you have any idea what the phones must have cost the NYPD?  Rest assured this contract came through friends, so there was significant money involved (plus who in their right mind purchases Windows phones?). Now they will have to purchase another 36,000 phones. If I were a NY taxpayer, I'd be pretty upset. This is a valuable, visible lesson for any governmental purchase; this stuff goes on all day, every day.

• When Life Gets Tough - annoy people. It's good for your spirits.

The Bed
I live in a non-standard household.
No, really?
Really.
You're putting us on.
No, really.

The house is non-standard. The occupants are non-standard. Even the dog is non-standard. The neighbors are non-standard. Even the sun is non-standard, in that it won't shine in the house. Seriously - light doesn't penetrate the house.

Ok, perhaps that's not the sun's fault.
The house came from a kit. Believe it or not, stuff got delivered and someone built it. It's pretty interesting, if you think about it. It's still standing, which is very fortunate. Unfortunately the person who assembled the house seemed to get everything right except for one small niggle: the house got turned around. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he was dyslexic. Maybe some neighborhood joker turn the plans around when he stepped away. Maybe he was $*#@ing stupid - I don't know. The end result is that the house is perfectly set up for a vampire - the sun doesn't get in. While my deathly pallor has caused some to accuse me of sleeping during the day, perhaps in a coffin, this is not true. Although I may try to avoid direct sunlight, I do like to know it's still out there. And none of it gets in, although I'm sure the siding is always warm.

Where was I?
Oh yeah, non-standard.

Being married to a non-standard wife is... well... non-standard. She has The Mother of All Sleep Disorders, which means she has to catch it where she can. This frequently means she's in bed before I am. I have no problem with this - I'm used to getting in bed in the dark. I spend a large portion of my life in the dark - why shouldn't it extend to the bedroom?

I wouldn't dream of turning the bedroom light on and waking anyone, especially the dog, so I always walk into a dark room. This would be no issue for normal people, but as I said, we're non-standard.

Like Charlie Brown kicking the ball, I assume, foolishly, that there's a clean path from the door to the bed. If there were enough light for video, I could produce some classic video. Maybe some of that green video that you can shoot in the dark.  The first obstacle I have to look for is Marshall, who may or may not be a few steps in, completely blocking access to the bed. Trying to be a good person, I really attempt to step over and not disturb him. This is sometimes funny when he's not there and I wind up stepping over nothing. This potentially sets me up for a great stumble, turn, stumble, fall.. right into bed.

Well, maybe not directly into bed. Something will invariably will have appeared in front of the bed. How it gets there, I can't even begin to guess: maybe stuff rearranges itself when the lights go out. Maybe there's some Quantum Rearrangement happening... this isn't my field, so I feel it best not to spend too much time on it. It would only hurt. So I trip on the dog that may or may not be there, stumble, turn, stumble, trip, teeter, then fall onto the bed.

While I'm falling, I have to worry about the Quantum Spaniel, who may or may not be in the bed already, whether or not I tripped on him when he may or may not have been in the way of the bed. For someone who isn't in the field, I sure deal with quantum physics a lot.  So Marshall may be laying at the foot of the bed, or on my pillow. I have to fall in a way that I won't fall on top of the poor guy.

The wife has not moved.

Now that I have done the Bedroom Dance across the entire room, I find myself (or most of myself) in bed, hopefully not on top of any living being. Regardless of marital status, it is unacceptable to land on your spouse for most, if not any reasons.

If Quantum Spaniel wasn't at the foot of the bed, he is snoozing on or about my pillow.  At this point it's ok to wake him so he'll move his fuzzy butt out of my way. So now he fakes sleep and plays stupid. Huh? You want me to what? Get up? MOVE? I don't understand. Say it a few more times. Gently tap my butt, so I can continue to pretend I don't understand. I can figure out how to get all sorts of things outside my reach but I'm really stupid when I don't want to leave your pillow.

FINALLY he moves to a different spot and I settle down to Blissful Sleep.

No I don't.

Stuff appears in my bed. Different Stuff than appears on the floor. Sometimes a pile of clothes. Last night, several packages of new sheets. Maybe a towel. Some books. A chainsaw. The odd bit of jewelry. Colored markers.. there's no telling and no reason for it.. the stuff is just there. The only thing these have in common is that they quickly become airborne, accompanied by screaming (usually mine).

The wife has not moved.

Along with the screaming is the nightly Litany of Self Pity. There's no written version but it goes something like this: GOD $(#&ING DAMMIT, CAN'T I GET INTO $&#@ING BED JUST ONCE WITHOUT THIS #&@&ING NONSENSE? IT'S DARK AND I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER ANYODY AND ALL I ASK IS AN UNOBSTRUCTED PLACE TO #*@&ING SLEEP. NO DOG. NO CRAYONS. NO CLOTHES. NO CHAINSAW. I WORK ALL DAY AND ALL I ASK FOR IS A BED I CAN GET INTO WITHOUT PAIN OR OBJECTS THAT DON'T %*#&ING BELONG THERE. I ASK FOR VERY LITTLE - AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I $(#&ING GET.

The wife has not moved.

Sometimes I do a little reading from my phone before I nod off. As soon as I silently click and the light comes on, the wife startles and sits up. NOW she sits up. The words are always the same: "What's wrong?" Nothing. "Oh."

The Sleep Number mattress leaks, but only my side, so I have to pump it up. She sleeps through that too - or at very least does not hit me with a cast iron pan, which is also in the bed, for reasons no one can explain.

The Day After the Day After

Our friends over at Volvo have stated that hackers are the real problem for self-driving cars. Really? Not crappy code that doesn't take security seriously?

• Trans-species Transvestite Dog: Marshall has recently trained us to respond to his every whim via loud, urgent whining, whether it's needing water or something serious. At roughly 3am, the Marshall Alarm went off again. He was in the corner of the bedroom, with a dress wrapped around his neck. Kinky? Autococker Asphyxiation?

My buddy has had cancer two times. He's now working on number three. He has no sense of taste. While getting chemotherapy, he walks to and from a full time heavy job. He does not utter a syllable of doubt, regret, or upset.. he just goes on.  I need to remember this next time I have a backache...

• Celebgate 3.0: Yes, once again there's been a breach, resulting in photos from the phones of celebrities being leaked. This time it's Miley Cyrus, Stella Maxwell, Kristen Stewart, Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn, and Katharine McPhee. This attack starts with phishing. Don't click on stuff, celebrities and real people. Ramp up your security settings. Don't use THE CLOUD. Don't use iDEVICES - this hack was 100% iHACK.
• In the interests of science, we shall attempt to locate the site that published the pictures, so you know what kind of material to avoid putting in THE CLOUD from your iDEVICES.

Are you currently a college student? Did you attend college? I got a queasy feeling while reading this article on your information being available from the college itself. There doesn't seem to be any good reason for the information to be out there but of course there's legislation behind it: The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. As we know from reading ThermionicEmissions, every piece of legislation works the opposite of its name. Since it says privacy, you have none. There is an opt-out and it's up to you to find it. But wait - it gets better... if medical records are requested, they lose HIPAA protection!

• One hundred percent of government IT workers said employees are the biggest threat to cybersecurity. PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.

Charles Barkley has been labeled a white supremacist for telling black people to stop killing each other. He sure is going to look funny at the white supremacist rallies.

This will backfire when almost everyone is labeled a white supremacist and white supremacists start getting praised for their inclusiveness.

• It was inevitable.... Starbucks has introduced the Chicken Sushi Burrito.
• Speaking of which, there are now calls for boycotting Starbucks, ESPN, and the NFL. Always ahead of trends, I have been boycotting them for a long time, just because I don't like their products.

Best wishes to affected parts of Texas during the flood. I hope your lives are property are ok.

• US Government Cybersecurity ranks 16th out of 18 industry sectors. This is an improvement over last year, when it ranked 18. Let this be a lesson to you people who say the US is capable of nothing.

Happy birthday to linux Linus Torvalds' baby. Here's an appropriate quote from Mikko Hypponen, of F-Secure: Linux distributions are really lacking in their support for some of the most common Windows software. For example, most malware won't work.

• In the continuing struggle of man's inhumanity to man, I find this most appropriate.

The majority of breaches are caused by unpatched software. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough. My friend's office got hit so badly, it took out the entire system, including years of data. Patch it. And stop clicking on every goddamn link you see.

• Hollywood has rushed to help Houston and it's heartwarming:
• Beyonce: Texas, you are in my prayers
• Kelly Rowland: Houston changed my life- everybody send out prayers for H-town
• Lady Antebellum: thoughts and prayers
• Ellen DeGeneres: the whole country is thinking of you
• Sheryl Crow: you are in my prayers
• Country music singer Chris Young donated $100,000
• let words and actions stand by themselves

Update: At Least it's Only Cancer

So I come home, followed by the wife and Marshall.
Rather then tell me what happened, she's mad as hell and wants to tell me why. Marshall seriously misbehaved at the oncologist's office. And assholes in cars. And someone took her parking spot.

Dr Doggie Onco was very nice, explained everything, and gave options.
First, the idiot vet who removed the lesion missed the second lesion, inches away. This has to be removed.

Second, no chemo. There's a new treatment done with vaccines. Once a month for a few months, then a booster. Before they start, he needs yet another test to make sure they're treating the right cancer, possibly because the previous test was not expensive enough.

We've already paid for the vet's Mercedes and her daughter's education. Plus a kitchen redecoration for the ear surgeon. Now the oncologist needs a winter home. It was bad enough when I worked to pay for our medical costs and the occasional pizza. Now it's vet costs and no pizza. And you cannot write off pet medical expenses on your taxes.

According to Dr Doggie Onco, Marshall will be with us for 2.5 to 3 years after treatment. As that's close to normal, we'll take it. I guess we never thought about the end, but today put a period on it. That's probably why I feel way worse than I should for a guy whose best friend is going to live for a few more years.

=============================

With that bright news, followed by the financial news, I decided it was past time to get working on the other job. And POOF - their server was down. No work.

Since no work, it was time to work on the basement. Yesterday I vacuumed the living room and it was a piece of cake. The basement did not go so well, largely due to three inches of water from a pipe that's older than me. Pipe repaired, water not.

Wife says she has 3 wheels for the wet-vac. Why not four? No one knows. I look at the beast and it has no provision for wheels - it just has 2 leg things, one of which was, you guessed it, missing.

Plug in and go. Well, not so much go as Nothing. Maybe there's a switch with that outlet? Why yes, there is. VOOM. Water starts getting sucked up! As does all sorts of crap that I try to avoid. No matter, the vac takes it in stride. Until the yelling. I leap to turn it off and ask what's wrong. 

"It's spitting water on my books." 

Sorry, it's got some sort of tiny leak or something. 

"Well, you can run it then." 

Yes, I was running it, until you screamed to turn it off.

Back to vacuuming water, and my Special Supervising Assistant left me to it. It filled up rather quickly. And don't you know it - water's frigging heavy. I'm struggling with the vac and my Special Supervising Assistant is standing exactly where I'm going to dump it. Like a cat. 

WHOOSH - one bucket down.

Now that I have a rhythm going, it feels better. I'm getting the damn water up and making a visual impact. Then AAAAAHHHHHH. I rush to turn the thing off and the noise is coming from the machine because it's lying on its side. Why is it lying on its side? I have no idea. I didn't even see it go down. 

Believe it or not, this has not brightened my day. In fact, my neighbors are no doubt aware of this for two blocks, even though I'm in a sealed basement.

Another bucket's full. Pull the top off the vac and SWISH, the water's all over me. More exclamations and suppositions as to the vacuum's parentage. The vac, however,  was ahead of me: when I brought the bucket back, the top had rolled right in my path, almost tripping me.

The old lefty would've been screaming that this is personal. The new lefty was trying to maintain his composure (which, unbeknownst to him, walked away earlier) and swears that this only looks like it's personal.

A couple more buckets and the job is done. I felt accomplished and my wife only had to throw down a rope, which I tied around my waist, allowing her to haul me up the steps. Yes, I felt accomplished, but I couldn't feel many of my extremities. I don't do manual labor - I'm a Knowledge Worker.

Off with the shoes, which weren't that wet. The socks, however, were soaked and the legs above them had dirt on them. So there I sat, sockless. Why was I sockless? Because every matching pair was in the dryer. Why? Because we couldn't use the washer til we fixed the pipe. Eventually my wife appeared with fresh socks. Normally everybody loves socks fresh from the dryer, but it's over ninety here with ninety percent humidity, so I waved them about til they hit room temperature. If it were still light outside, I would've waved them about outside, for the pleasure of the neighbors. I'm like that.

We got through dinner swimmingly. At no time did I grab an entire stick of butter, like I did the day before. Then, just in case I forgot what it felt like, I grabbed it again. It's a good thing they don't let me play with fire.

Tired, full, and sore, we sat down for some tv time.  The tension was starting to abate. I was feeling a nice kind of tired. Then I remembered I HAD TO PLAY ADULT AND TAKE OUT THE GODDAMN TRASH. At 9:30pm.

It might have been worse than waking up ten minutes before the alarm goes off but who's counting. The paranoid schizophrenic's motion-activated lights are a great help when I take out the trash, as I can see what I'm doing. Unfortunately they were not working, which must have him in an absolute tizzy. They snuck up and killed my lights, man.

I got one can out and BANG- the gate slams shut. As long as I've lived here, the gate has never slammed shut. I'm not mad - I'm more amused because the old lefty would say this was personal - the new lefty says it only looks like it's personal. Another can out - another BANG - SLAM. 

Really?

Now to bring out the recyclables. Oops - there's a dog in the way of the door. He's looking at me, with bags, then chooses to lay down. I politely ask him to move. I impolitely ask him to move. I notice he's playing this almost deaf thing for maximum effect, as he can hear the sound of cold cuts being opened in the kitchen from the basement. So I do what we always do: open the door, which, in turn, pushes him along the tile floor. No one gets hurt and he can go back to snoozing (or whatever he gets into while I take the trash out). 

I pick up the recyclables, which knocks twelve other things down. Week after week I tell the wife we need to find a more intelligent way of dealing with the recyclables. Week after week she agrees. Week after week I pick them up and knock twelve other things down, making a mental note (with a clear marker) to talk to the wife about finding a more intelligent way of dealing with the recyclables. I pour them into the can and only a third of them go vaulting to the ground and flying about. Boy, it's a good thing this isn't personal.

Back on the couch, Marshall appears to have no water. Off to the fridge, because we have a Water Ritual. We take a water bottle, fill it up, chill it, then pour it out very slowly into the bowl. Marshall stands there, drinking from the stream until it stops, then he takes a few sips from the bowl, and proceeds to either go swimming in it or use a paw to redistribute the water to the floor around the bowl. We have absolutely no idea why.

After the Water Ritual, I finally sit down and take the shoes off. I'm relaxing again, which is always a bad sign, when BARK - DAMMIT - I SAID BARK! The little monster, after redistributing water, opened the door I closed and decided he needed to go outside. I was about to tell him to pay for his own cancer treatment when he made it through the door.

Giving up, I went back to the couch. On the way, I stepped in the water Marshall redistributed to the floor. With my warm, clean socks.

Behaving is Overrated

Admittedly, I like watching car chases and COPS. Since police chases are the state sport of California, I get to watch them a lot. Yesterday I caught a stolen SUV, running through three districts of police, driving in a really strange manner, and winding up in San Pedro. The police called off the chase, as they do a lot lately, but there were helicopters in the air, including the one showing us the video (fox10phoenix.com always has video on very current events).

The guy pulls into a shipyard and starts driving from one end to the other, repeatedly. Someone driving like this is obviously not calm or well. The guy gets out of the SUV, letting it drive off by itself, finds some steps, and starts climbing. The police had arrived, but were not chasing the guy.

He climbs. And climbs. And climbs.

This facility has a massive set of really long cranes, for unloading ships that can't come closer. This fellow climbs all the way to the top of the crane, walks around the accessways, which have handrails. Then he leaves the handrails and walks out on the beam, about 100' above the water. Absolutely no fear. He continues to walk around, look down, shoo the choppers, and have conversations with people we can't see. He finally sits down and removes his socks. We're trying to figure out whether he's drunk or just not well upstairs. The different angles from the chopper were absolutely frightening and making me queasy. I didn't want the poor guy to fall (or jump). The police continued to leave him alone, which was probably the right idea.

The chopper had to go back for gas, so people from as far away as Chile were not able to watch further. I searched the following morning and unfortunately the fellow took all of his clothes off and jumped or fell to his death. No word on whether it was to the water or the street.

Why am I typing this?  I have absolutely no idea.

Meanwhile, I just saw that a van driver (terrorist) crashed into people on a sidewalk in Barcelona, killing thirteen and injuring many. There are gunmen on the loose.  That's why I'm typing this.... with the internet, we can see things in real time. There should be a Nobel Peace Prize for the net. It's much harder to pull one over on the masses when they can watch it as it happens.

• I was thinking of writing a book full of motivational advice - what do you think?
• Seek answers in the couch, Grasshopper
• Always deliver quality work: leave it for someone better
• If you shoot them, they'll never do it again
• When there is no room for failure, don't start

Some comic recently observed that a glory hole was not patriotic.

I think it depends on which side you're on... one makes you salute and the other just sucks.

• England's Jeremy Corbyn, having observed recent terrorist acts, has said that laws are needed to stop van attacks. Yes, somebody inform ISIS that driving vans into people on sidewalks is illegal - that'll do it. His Upper Class Twit of the Year trophy is on the way.

Maxine Waters just accused Ben Carson of being a White Nationalist. Please don't upset Maxine by reminding her Ben's black - it will ruin her day.

• My wife stood there, excitement on her face, and said, "Hey - who vacuumed the floor?" I thought about this carefully, looked around, thought about it some more, then pointed to the dog. 
• Did she think, perhaps, that someone broke in the house and vacuumed it for us?
• If we suspend disbelief for a moment, the vacuum is the Enemy of All Dogs Everywhere, so even if he could stand up and run it, he'd have to bark at it simultaneously, which would make a hell of a racket.
• It is relatively safe to say that nothing else in the house has evolved to the point that it can run the evil machine, no less want to. Including the dust.

How many years have humans had to evolve? We have finally arrived.

• When was the last time your cat chased a rodent?

After watching the antics of the antifa goons and the KKK, I find it sad that after one hundred years, we've gone from white dunce caps to black dunce caps.

• Firefox has updated itself to the latest version - the one they warned you about. Now almost none of your extensions will work. Extension People are allegedly updating their extensions. Since they do it in their own free time, it's bad form to complain. It is interesting to note, however, that only two of mine have been updated - with a large amount not updated.

Through no fault of my own, I came across a tv show that was telling the story of this overweight woman who opened her mailbox to find a note from a neighbor saying 300lb women shouldn't wear yoga pants.

Let's get the obvious over with: this is incredibly rude and inexcusable. Whoever did this wouldn't dare say this in person.

Now for the other obvious: they're right.

The victim of this horrible incident went on to talk about how she's always been large, because of a glandular issue. I feel for you, lady, I really do. But whatever caused your weight is no excuse for you to wear yoga pants. I don't wear tight clothes because it's damn unsightly, and I don't weigh 300lbs.

• Over 500 android apps have been found containing crapware that can download other programs. The issue is a plugin used by programmers, who did not know about the issue. The main target was Chinese teens, who downloaded rather a lot of these programs. Google rushed in and studied the issue, for three months, before removing the programs from the Play Store. Which programs were affected? Google hasn't chosen to share them with us. We don't have a need to know.
• How to avoid this? Very carefully.
• When you're searching for an app, read the reviews very carefully. Look for a lot of foreign reviews or really horrible English. Check how many downloads it has. Look for similar apps that feel less creepy, perhaps from a more reputable developer. See what else the developer developed.
• Whenever you install a program, pay close attention to the permissions it requests. A file manager doesn't need to make calls or send messages.
• Download Malwarebytes from the store and scan daily or on-access.
• ask

England has gone nuts (officially). The Crown Prosecution Service has just criminalized 'hate speech'. Call someone a bad word? That's a sentencing. Don't like homosexuals? That's a sentencing. Transexuals aren't real women? That's a sentencing. You're stupid? That's a sentencing. Priests don't approve of homosexuality? That's a sentencing.

The Director of Public Prosecutions said the guidelines are part of a broader conversation we need to have about tackling "extreme views" and finding ways to "prevent such opinions from gestating in the first place."

By policing speech, they're policing thought. Think about it - it is a crime in England to say something bad about someone else. The US takes its freedom of speech very seriously (except antifa). We would do well to guard against this type of government interference. In the meantime, I urge our brothers and sisters in England to do whatever is necessary, within the law, to have this repealed.

PC Police Off the Rails. And Cancer.

As we know, England has gone a bit silly with their anti 'hate' laws, making it illegal to say bad things to someone else. One enterprising policeman put two stores on notice that their Feminine Care signs are sexist and must be changed, perhaps to something like 'personal hygiene' or 'personal care'. You know - because men can use tampons. Not to be stopped in his relentless mission of stamping out sexism, he insisted other stores change their restroom signs featuring a woman with a baby, because the men's signs didn't have a baby.

The twitter backlash started immediately, with the officer being slammed for wasting tax money.  Although the story is old, it resurfaced. Usually questionable laws come from Australia, but this one from England is Orwellian. Police are being paid to police speech. It's astounding. One wonders if all other crime has been eradicated so the police can bring the full force to bear on the scourge of people saying bad things.

The policeman in question deleted his Twitter account.

• Condolences to the family and friends of the young lady who lost her life in Charlottesville, when someone drove into a crowd, also injuring many others. The online commentary has very quickly gone nasty and divided itself neatly into predictable camps. Thoughts:
• We (the US) have a First Amendment that allows free speech, no matter how repugnant. The KKK has every right to assemble, regardless of how we feel about them.. to curtail their right is to curtail everyone else's.
• The counter protesters have every right to protest also. It should be noted that when there are counter protests lately, violence tends to follow.
• Free speech does not cover punching or other violent acts, no matter how much any group feels it's ok. Hate speech is a misnomer, used only to shut down opposing views. Speech is speech in the US.
• It is very interesting to note commentary from other countries which do not have our freedoms. They don't understand free speech and think the KKK should not be allowed to march. Period.
• The KKK is a small bunch of agitators, who count on news and counter protests. If people stopped showing up, they would more than likely stop marching.
• At very least, the counter protesters showed up armed for violence.
• The police were given orders to stand down, allowing the violence to occur and escalate. Find out who gave this order and you have a path to find answers.
• It is not difficult to predict that this is only the beginning.
• Ironically, the group calling the KKK nazis wants to shut down speech they don't like.
• Someone spraypainted Fuck Laws, in red paint, on a column at the Lincoln Memorial.
• The above thoughts notwithstanding, arguing over this is a perfect example of Divide and Conquer. If we fight among ourselves, we won't be paying attention to other things.
• Where is this coming from? For one, George Soros, who pours untold millions into creating social unrest.

There is actually a 'sport' called Footgolf. It's advertised as being more exciting than golf. To be absolutely factual, watching grass grow is more exciting than golf, plus you don't have to whisper.

• Speaking of Charlottesville, Anonymous hacked a website called The Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi site, which had published an offensive story about Heather Heyer, the lady who was killed by the person who drove his car into the crowd. After the hack, Godaddy, the provider of the page, gave the Nazis twenty four hours to move to a new provider.
• Anonymous says they have the location of the page's owner, Andrew Anglin, and promised to send allies to visit him in Lagos.
• We all love to see the neo-Nazis and Bad Guys get it, right? Does this mean Anonymous is good?
• I don't know about you, but I'd prefer to see the Bad Guys operate in the daylight, so it is easier to see what they are up to.
• GoDaddy states the page violated its terms of service. They were responding to complaints. The complainer, a blogger with an agenda, was outed, resulting in her phone number and address going online and being bombarded by trolls.
• The Daily Stormer registered with Google, which terminated the registration due to violation of terms of service. Someone's not reading terms of service.  I don't remember terms of service, but I do remember Google was pretty solidly behind freedom of speech. You're reading this on a Google site. Perhaps they have a term of service prohibiting neo-Nazis - I don't know.

There is a report of an Internet of Things thermostat playing music. How? It has an Amazon Echo built into it. The situation was remedied by the owner.

In related news, 500 folks who felt it was necessary to get 'smart' door locks found themselves in Deep Doo-Doo when the company shipped a software update that rendered the lock electronically inoperable. Owners had to use their keys, if they had them. The responsible party has offered two fixes, which take between five and eighteen days. Are you ready for the Internet of Things? This is a slow motion train wreck of impossibly large proportions.

• The government has demanded data on visitors to an Anti-Trump site, probably due to an investigation. Regardless of where you sit on the political spectrum, this sort of thing is bad. 
• On the other hand, perhaps the site should have been located on a server that did not keep this information.
• Some of the Antifa people are radicalizing. There were weapons and shields in Charlottesville. Does this justify an investigation?  Does this behavior violate anyone's terms of service?

So the aliens were giving a tour of Earth...

"This is Roswell, where we played a little trick on the Army Air Force in 1947."

"They call this the Bible Belt. Just ignore it."

"Dogs? They're ours.  Cats? The reptilians rounded them up and dropped them here."

• Ok, I'm dying here... in Atlanta, angry people (antifa) protesting violence defaced a peace monument. Then they all ganged up on a single policeman, shouting PIG! 
• Wait, it gets better... Black Lives Matter put themselves between the policeman and the antifa protesters.
• I'll admit it - I refer to BLM as a terror group. Kudos to them for this selfless act.
• Tomorrow morning, be sure to look for grass, which is now in the up direction, while the sky will be below.

Thus ends the game of Naked Monopoly.

• Given the opportunity, Americans would deep fry furniture

Marshall Update: The biopsy came back positive for malignant melanoma. Sort of. They're 'pretty sure'. There is, of course, another test, but we were told to assume positive. The good news is that they cut out all of it. The bad news is that it still has to be treated, just in case.

So Marshall will now get to see the Doggie Oncologist.

We love him unconditionally, but he's going to need his own GoFundMe page if this continues.

• It's time for my Yearly Tire Rant. Attempting to keep the car legal and maintained, it went to the mechanic. Bulb replaced, oil changed, and by the way, it will need four new tires. The car is obviously conspiring with the dog.
• For reasons I absolutely cannot fathom, my Hyundai requires performance tires. Performance tires. It's not like, at any moment, the engine will leap out of the car because the tires aren't performing. We don't race, we don't bumper car (anymore), and we are never in a situation where the car has to perform anything but starting and running.
• This is the first car I've ever had that has huge wheels and tiny tires. There are no other tires for this car. I'm thinking the car would ride much better with real tires on it but what do I know, aside from the fact that every car I've ever owned had them.
• To make things even more amusing, the tires are in the neighborhood of $250 each. I realize my cars were older, but that's almost what I paid for all four of them.

The Witch It All Lime Man

RIP Glen Campbell (81) from Alzheimers.
Glen has a long history in music, from early days in the Wrecking Crew, to being one of the Beach Boys, to solo fame (Wichita Lineman, Rhinestone Cowboy, etc). He didn't get credit for being a really good guitar player. When he was diagnosed with Alzheimers, he decided on a final tour. His daughter was in the band and would gently help him along if he stumbled. There is video of a concert in which he introduces a song and his daughter had to let him know they just did it. Check out Glen in the studio with Stone Temple Pilots, doing Wichita Lineman.

• Marshall returned from his operation a little sleepy and a lot cranky, possibly from pain. Mind you, he's on a lot of pain meds. At 5am he went outside and hid in a far corner of his yard, where he's never gone before. His biopsy results take a week.
• Speaking of Dog Meds, we continue the struggle to get them into him. The latest was the squishy pill pocket treat, where you put the pill in the center, close both ends, and the dog eats it. Well, other dogs eat it. He fell for this twice, then stopped taking them. We wrapped this treat in turkey, which he went for immediately. This lasted two times also. The third time, he somehow managed to flip the turkey off and eat it only. This happened twice. Who runs the house? The smartest person in the house, who just happens to have four muppety paws. Next up: liverwurst.

The British police are investigating five year olds for calling each other names. I kid you not. After investigation, it was referred to as a non-crime. Orwell continues to spin.

• Wikileaks has released another CIA doozie: dubbed CouchPotato, this tool will remotely collect video without leaving a trace.  Rest easy - it must be on your pc to work. So unless the CIA has already hacked your pc, you're ok. They haven't already hacked your pc, have they?

Know what would be really cool? If some major artists started talking about depression. To make them feel better about it, they could wear trendy bracelets or ribbons... maybe a ribbon strangling a brain.

• The other day I put on the Led Zeppelin at Knebworth (1979) video. It's nice to enjoy some live Led for once. Robert Plant is one of my favorite singers but heaven help me, I don't understand most of what he says between songs. It sounds like a bunch of one line inside jokes. Maybe because I'm not a Brit, maybe because I'm not a Zep. They played my favorite song, "Ten Years Gone." Since I always feel better when playing, I played along. There was excitement. It made me happy.
• She did too. But she's seven years gone.

When I was a child, I wasn't having a good time of it - I wanted to be an adult. Now that I'm (allegedly) an adult, it would have been nice to have a childhood.

• As a blogger for quite a few years, people ask me questions. The answer to the most asked question is "Yes, I'm like this without drugs or alcohol." 

So how about those self-driving cars?  I'm always amazed that there are any at all that have made it out of testing, as the technology is relatively new. If you think about it, the future is here now.. George Jetson be damned. As someone who's not particularly fond of driving, it seems like a gee-whiz neato cool idea. As a tin foil mad hatter, it's a flipping nightmare: your location, after your phone gives it away, can be narrowed down to a five foot area. Your destinations all logged. Then there's the OH MY GOD, NO ONE'S DRIVING THE CAR fear that rears its ugly head until you get used to it.

It might be a little while longer. Security researchers discovered that you can fool the car's road sign detection algorithms by putting a sticker on the sign or otherwise altering it. Uh-oh. Do you want the stop sign to be read by the car as a 45mph speed limit sign?  When you're done contemplating the horrors of mis-reading, think about what kids are going to do... like throwing things in front of the car to see what happens.  There are benefits to being a tin foil mad hatter.

• Just when you thought it was safe to have a blood test, security researchers have come up with a way to insert malware into synthetic DNA. When you put the blood into the machine for analysis, it will corrupt and own the machine. Talk about your blood-borne infections....

Speaking of professions, I was thinking about going into serial killing. It turns out you can't start until you have a manifesto.

Internet of Dings

In an extremely rare event, out government seems to have gotten something right. I know, I know, we're all a little dazed. The Senate Cybersecurity Caucus has introduced a bill that would provide patchable products from vendors selling Internet of Things products to the government. In essence the products must be patchable and updateable or replaceable. This is very important with Internet of Things devices.

Now, if they can only do something about their employees... quite a number of breaches are caused by people inside, clicking on stuff they shouldn't.  When in doubt, don't. It will not hurt to ask someone. Your IT department will thank you for asking.

• I gotcher chip card right here: So these new chip cards that are going to secure our purchases, that have already been hacked, have developed a new wrinkle: vendors who won't accept them. In an absolutely unscientific sampling, a significant number of vendors just plain won't accept them and have no plans to. The chip cards were required to be accepted under law, or a penalty would be assessed. The vendors, balking at the price and extra time it takes consumers to use them, have refused. Instead, they will take the penalty. The first one we discovered was Rite Aid. Can you imagine if you decided not to comply with a law? The Mounties would be at your door so fast it would make dragsters look slow by comparison.

The Amazon Echo has been found to have a number of flaws that would allow a hacker to gain root access. The devices (2015 and 2016 models ending in '01') will allow someone to do whatever they want to the device, without a trace. The flaws were fixed in the 2017 models (ending in '02'). The only solace owners have is that the hacker must have physical access to perform the hack (he must be in your house, at the box). Amazon has no plans to exchange the devices. Don't put this stuff in your house.

• RIP Jim Marrs. Jim defined tenacious journalism. He found a topic and dug, then printed the facts.  He taught a college course on the JFK assassination. His books were on JFK, Remote Viewing, secret societies, and 9-11. The Oliver Stone JFK movie was based upon Jim's work. I highly urge you to pick up some of his books. 

If there is so much as a one millimeter gap between food and me, that's where it's going to fall. It's lefty physics. Don't forget to feed your shirt.

• Marshall moves when required. He watched me walk into the kitchen, keeping a loose eye on the proceedings. I took the bag of turkey lunchmeat, shook it within his field of vision, and he came running. There is a company that makes Pill Treats for dogs. They're little squishy treats with a hole in them for medicine, if your dog won't take meds any other way. This is American Genius at work. Unfortunately we're dealing with Dog Genius: he enjoyed this twice, then stopped entirely. We now hide the meds in the treat, then wrap it in turkey. He likes that. For how long is anybody's guess.

I have discovered the best way to rip a paper towel off the roll, while simultaneously shredding it.. pull it at the perforation.

• My Dementia Page has been updated (you see the button up top). In a move that no one could see coming, defying all logic, the facility is discharging the patient because she's too functional. Incredulously pissed does not even begin to describe how I feel.

Much to my dismay there is an Emoji Movie. The nephews went to see it the other day. Asked to rate the movie with emojis, the little one didn't miss a beat and said, "Poop." Runs in the family.

Holes in My Hose

I was sitting there, minding my own business, as most of these stories begin, and there's a voicemail from the Good neighbor. The one who hasn't called the city because my lawn hasn't been edged 'correctly'. This lady is the neighbor you want to have; the sweet old lady. She is the one Marshall has trained to feed him on command. He goes out by her door and barks once. She appears with a hot dog or something and feeds him.  If she fails to feed him, he will sit there and stare at her door, through sun, rain, and snow. He 'buys' her flowers and assorted goodies, like a Pet by Proxy.

The voicemail said that the hose was leaking and there was a lot of water.

Uh-oh.

My wife collects many things, among them hoses and hose accessories. Just last week I attached a new hose and nozzle. Why? Because the other one was old. Ok. We started with a generic hose. It's the same kind of hose everyone had. It was a good hose, a sturdy hose. When you needed to water or fill the dog's pool, it was the hose to use. Because the hose sat, I ran it over on one of my dreaded interactions with the mower. Then the flat hose, featured on countless infomercials, with very loud, fast-talking pitchmen. This either sat in its box or spontaneously disappeared - I can't keep track. The next hose either got old or a house fell on it.

The new hose is green, as they tend to be, but has some odd fabric covering on it and tends to shrivel up or something when there's no water flowing. While I'm fine with computer systems and networks, the Hose Parade escapes me. With the overriding motto in my head (Happy Wife, Happy Life), I tightened all the fittings. There, Dear; new hose.

After the neighbor notice I went immediately to the Hose Site. When I say immediately, I mean after a brief stop at the snack table and Snapple dispensary.  My sharp-eyed neighbor was correct: there was lots of water. The nozzle itself was in perfect condition, not allowing one drop of water to flow. The hose, however, had quite a number of pinpricks in it, with little sprays of water gracing the air, causing a misting effect in spots. While this is good on a 95 degree day at Disney, while waiting in a two hour line, it's not so good toward a summer evening by a house.

A new hose.

The faucet was wide open, which verifies Wife used it. Wife seems to think that if it works, it'll work better turned up full. Unfortunately this is her attitude toward too many things in life. I'm surprised the plumbing in the shower hasn't spit pipes or fixtures at us yet. After I applied the software updates and manual intervention (I turned off the faucet), the deluge stopped.

Upon notifying Wife that new hose needed to be returned, she said it was years old. Well if it was years old, why wasn't it hooked up years ago? And why does an old hose automatically develop quite a number of holes? And why am I even blathering on about this? Maybe there will be some Intensive Hose Expeditions in our future. Just so long as I don't have to mow.  Know what keeps me awake at night? The thought that the kid we have mowing the lawn will grow up and move away.

• There is a very old, very serious vulnerability in Diebold ATMs. Mind you, this is the company that manufactures voting machines. Although serious, the vulnerability requires putting a rod through the speaker, jacking open the top half, then doing some software jiggling, hopefully someone would notice this happening, even if the guy with the crowbar was wearing a coverall that said ATM MAINTENANCE GUY.

The Gun Grabbers are atwitter about 'smart guns', which can't fire without certain factors, like a special bracelet. A hacker recently did a presentation on a number of ways to defeat a specific German system, one involving radio waves and another a few cheap magnets. One also wonders if there will be time and opportunity to put on a bracelet before having to use the gun, but that's a different matter entirely.

• I wanted to bring you this important bit of information before you hear it somewhere else: not being attracted to trans people is deeply transphobic. 
• In response, someone ventured: Hey lesbians, refusing to sleep with straight guys is deeply heterophobic. Bring your girlfriend too. Monogamous relationships are a patriarchal western ideal anyway.

An unnamed casino got hacked. How? The Internet of Things fish tank. After they got in through the tank, they went wild on the casino's network. This is a preview of what's coming to your house.

• After you buy your router, here are some tips to secure the beast. They're all pretty simple and common sense, but help immensely.

If you're a customer of Virgin America, WestJet, or Spirit Air, your data may be in the wild. Check with the airline and change your passwords, at very least.

• Remember lefty's Law: anything worth doing can be done from the couch

I mentioned that we were testing out Zakk Wylde's Valhalla and Death Wish coffees. Death Wish has much more caffeine than regular coffee. I was told they drink like medium roast and they weren't kidding.  They weren't bad but I'm continuing with Peet's French Roast. I missed the body and roast. The caffeine boost didn't do much for me. I am not panning the brand - I urge you to try it, especially if you like medium roast coffee.

• It should come as no surprise by now that there are internet-connect car washes. As we, ThermionicEmissions readers know, if there's a system, there's a hack. And this one's a doozy. This particular hack can literally have the car wash attack your car and you! Not really as bad as a feature-length movie about a rogue car wash attacking a small city, this one can potentially strand your car, hit it with some sprayers, and dump some water. Note to first daters: you can be the hero and rescue your date from the Evil Car Wash. That would have to be worth some points...

Speaking of hacks, check out  https://haveibeenpwned.com/ - put in your email address and see if it exists on any number of hack lists. This may be a depressing click.

In strange related Hose News, we experienced a Plumbing Issue. The issue got what looked like a bandaid. The Issue sprouted up in another place. While attempting the Bandaid Maneuver, it popped up in other places. Suffice it to say that it has become a Rather Large Plumbing Issue, which insurance may or may not cover. It's potentially an Expensive Rather Large Plumbing Issue, unlike the Hose Issue.

You will note the timing on this coincides with the upcoming biopsy on Marshall's oral growth.

Notice we have savings: Marshall's biopsy and Plumbing Issue

Notice we don't have enough savings: Marshall's biopsy and Plumbing Issue.

Notice that, as George Harrison said, It's All Too Much: Mrs. lefty has been non-functional for a while.

Marshall, bless him, has to be bribed to take his ridiculous amount of meds. We've been through peanut butter, cheesecake, lunchmeat, leftovers, French Toast Sticks, and now American cheese. He's walking around like Tommy Chong; saying, "Wow, man" and sleeping a lot.

The Conspiracy Against Home Work

Last weekend, I needed to get some work done via the computer.
This was my first mistake.

As I complete tasks, I pile papers on the floor, to collect when I'm done. It's a spot very far from commerce and the dog.

The very smart and creative cocker spaniel decides to seek out this Paper Place and plop down on it.  This wouldn't be more than amusing if he hadn't just come in from out of doors, where he took a leisurely dip in his pool. One soggy pile of papers I need.

Time is getting crunchy so I have to multitask. I have a plate of food to eat while I dial in to a learning opportunity.

People eating triggers interesing reactions in Marshall. Normally he sits there, laser-locked on Wife's food. When I mention he's not allowed to vulture while we're eating, she looks down and is surprised at where he is, as if he teleported to the spot closest to her plate. Realizing that isn't going to work, he waits a minute or two then starts this very weird whining. It gets louder. If you tell him to shut up, he moves further away, waits another minute, then emits one very sharp BARK. Barks, as far as we can tell, mean I need to go outside, I need food, I need water. So it's up to us to guess which thing he means. There's a very clever fourth meaning, when I get up to figure out what he wants, move toward the door, and he sits there staring at me. He just wanted to see if he could get me to stand up and walk somewhere. Amused, he goes off and naps somewhere.

So I have lunch in one hand, the phone in one ear, and the other ear on Marshall, who has just BARKED. I am not good with this much input, so I'm getting frustrated, to be polite.

My dear friend texts me - BING goes the phone.
While listening to it, I have to pick it up and find out what the text is about.
Back to listening.
BING - another text. He's chatty today.

Now it's the wife's turn: "Honey, are you busy on the phone?"
No, Dear, I'm just listening to the seminar, reading constant texts, eating, and listening to the dog make demands. Yes, the phone that's on speaker, speaking now.
"OK, I'll be quiet.... do we have any ketchup?"
I thought you were being quiet.
"I am. I just needed to know if we had any ketchup."
I. DON'T. KNOW.
"You don't have to get so mean about it. I was just asking a question."

BING - a fresh text!

What's that noise?
"Ooh - it's the ice cream truck! I want a popsicle, I want a popsicle!"

The extremely loud truck, with the even more extremely loud speaker, has now parked itself right in front of my house, with screaming children all around it. The interesting thing here is that my windows are all closed, the air conditioning is on and loud, yet I can hear and feel the truck as if I were standing in front of it, which I'm clearly thinking of doing at this point.

By now I've gotten roughly enough words out of the seminar to make a sentence. Not a coherent one, mind you, but a sentence nonetheless.

BING - a text!

BEEP - hey, the battery's charge is about to expire... you should charge it..

BARK - another Doggie Demand.
Marshall, what am I depriving you of at this very moment? Tell me how terrible this has been for you.  Unfortunately, spaniels don't get sarcasm (or pretend not to). As he follows me to the door, he has to go outside. This was much easier when he had most of his hearing... we'd say OUTSIDE and he'd go running.

At this point, I'm expecting nothing short of a marching band to come through my living room. Or maybe a motorcycle parade - VROOM VROOM.

BARK, CRY
What now? He wants to come in. He mentions this by making the most awful, pitiful sounding noise. The neighbors must think we're torturing him. The only reason we haven't received a visit from the animal cruelty people is that most of the neighbors are deaf. One for us.

For some reason I cannot remember, I gave up on the seminar and hung up the phone.

Sometimes Marshall communicates subtly, perhaps when he realizes we will not respond well to his commands. He comes over and puts his adorable face on my lap. I pet him. He puts his face on my lap again. I pet him again. He rubs against my leg. I pet him again... wait a minute.. he's trying to tell me something again. I stand up and he rockets to his food bowl or the door.

...which is why I work in an office.


I don't want you to get the wrong impression about our relationship (Marshall and me). At the end of the night, he jumps up on the bed, sometimes with difficulty, and walks up to me, laying with his head on my shoulder. I pet him for a while, just the two of us, having Together Time. It's the highlight of my day.


BING! I think there's another text. Gotta go.

Inpeach!

OJ Simpson has been granted parole.
He told the judge that "he'd kill to get out of there." - Gilbert Gottfried
Hide your collectibles.  - twitter

• Just a short time after the suicide of Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington (singer: Linkin Park, STP) hung himself. The only question remaining is what these rock stars knew about Hillary Clinton.

It's somewhat unlikely that you'll get to visit the International Space Station, but you can do a Google Street View of it. Spoiler: the view is inside only and there are no aliens visible.

• In a 2015 general election in England, an investigation into allegations of pedophilia against a councillor was stalled to help the Labour Party. After the election, the councillor was convicted of downloading child porn. Do you have any idea how high up this goes?

There are hotels that charge you fifty dollars a day to store personal items in the mini fridge. Guess where... if you guessed Detroit, you'd be wrong. California, yes. Besides - goes to Detroit voluntarily?

• There is a coffee shop called Bitty and Beau's Coffee, which only employs people with disabilities. That really says something.
• Of course there's going to be that one ass who gets upset because his order is wrong. He yells, "What are you, retarded?" The entire store comes to a stop and answers, "Why yes, we are."

Bored? Go to Familytreenow.com - once the shock is over...
Go to https://www.familytreenow.com/optout to get yourself removed.

• Zakk Wylde, professional wild man, sometime guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne, solo artist and founder of Black Label Society has put forth his own line of coffee. Yeah, it's a bit more expensive. We picked up Valhalla and Death Wish. Both are medium roast, as opposed to our usual french roast. Death Wish has rather a lot of caffeine in it. I tried both, which were kinda light, as expected, but good-tasting. The Death Wish did not have me banging against the walls, which is most fortunate. The story goes that Zakk used to drink a cup of Death Wish before shows. I suspect that buzz is normal.

One of the greatest inventions of the 2000s, the Roomba, will actually spy on you. The company will be selling 'maps' of your house. But it's ok, you have to opt-in. The cat, meanwhile, will sell the same info for five cents less than the Roomba.

• An American and a Swedish company have asked some of their employees to voluntarily get chipped, for the purposes of entering the building, logging into their computers, and cashless purchases from the company store. George Orwell and Christians are screaming from the grave and in person. What could possibly go wrong?

In wonderful news, Adobe has announced the death of Flash. No updates will be produced after 2020. This means the web and any other users of Flash will have to decide what they're using next. Then the hacking will start on that. The wicked Flash is dead!

• The DEFCON Hacking Convention is taking place in Las Vegas. Having learned from past years, many local vendors are shutting down their networks out of sheer terror. UPS Store will not accept anything on USB. The only store that is safe is Starbucks - where do all geeks go all day?

Very few in the country (and outside) have not been paying attention to the press and the travails of President Trump. We all know I'm a libertarian and think that anyone was better than Hillary. The press coverage, plus online commentary, is ridiculously biased, if not outright lies. Yes, Fake News exists.

I suspect if Trump stood on an earthmover and made a short speech about how great America is, we would see the following:

• Trump stood on a what he called an earthmover. In reality, it's a dump truck.  - NBC News
• Drumpf is an idiot - twitter
• The president, today, spoke from a piece of construction equipment, obviously provided by Russia.  - CNN
• That's not even the real color of an earthmover - here's a link to paint samples from that year of production.  - Reddit
• We have evidence that the bolt that holds the upper part of the mirror on was made in China. Kim Kardashian told us.  - DailyMail
• I stole an earthmover, smashed a few cars, and tipped it over. - FB video
• Obama did it better -  Huffington Post
• We need Obama more than ever.  - twitter
• The president bravely stood on a symbol of American engineering. - Fox news
• Did you see the way his shoes were tied? INPEACH!  -FB
• Today the president cut off all aid to the poor.  - CNN
• This proves that the president is an antisemite  - Jewish Defense League
• He is full of hate.  - Southern Poverty Law Center
• He's a racist.  - Black Lives Matter
• Why were there no overweight, non-armpit shaving transgender women of color in the video?  - social justice warriors
• He is making America great again!  - Sean Hannity
• HE STOLE THE ELECTION - the Democrats. All of them.

*Inpeach: parody of the people who scream "IMPEACH" whenever Trump does something.

Chester Bennington - RIP - and Suicide

This is my maudlin, whiny plea after someone kills himself.

Just a short time after the suicide of Chris Cornell, we learn that Chester Bennington (singer - Linkin Park, STP) hung himself.  ThermionicEmissions sends condolences to family, friends, and fans... we're sorry for your loss. Chester was 41 and left behind six children, from two different wives.

My friend in the music industry says it's partially the industry's fault. I'm not sure if I subscribe to the theory but hear it out and draw your own conclusions. He says the artists are allowed and encouraged to go their own way, regardless of possible harm... this makes money for everybody.  The handlers and those around the artist should be aware of self-destructive tendencies, as well as signs of depression, and act accordingly. I agree with this part.

We could all benefit from learning signs and symptoms. Depression is a terrible, painful thing, and it affects many more than you think. Much like with alcohol and drugs, you cannot fix the problem - the person has to be willing. This does not mean you can't be there to listen or maybe urge them toward help just a little.


If you're thinking of hurting or killing yourself...

Stop.
Back it up a second.

Did you know you don't have to feel like this?
A lot of people grow up with this, not knowing it's not normal. They just feel like shit. Eventually they or someone recognizes it and they get some help.

Yeah, help.
If it's an emergency, call the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Maybe even if it's not. They have people you can talk to who can help you out and direct you to other resources.

If you have family, talk to them. Maybe they can lend a hand - or an ear.
Talk to your friends. One of them might be depressed or know someone who is. There are online support communities. Misery loves company.

Your county/city has a mental health office. If you can't find it, call the county or city main line and ask them. They're there to help you.

It's time to see someone. Someone who sees this all day long, every workday. You are not the only one to feel this way. Through talk and possibly meds, you can feel better.


You may think that everyone's better off without you...

You're wrong.
You're in a lot of pain now and it might be hard to hear but you're wrong.
Do you have family? Friends? A significant other? A pet? Online buddies? Somebody you chat with at the store?

You are going to leave a trail of devastation in your wake.

You might think it's just a little adjustment for them and they'll go on.
You're wrong.
Death isn't one and done: death is forever. It stays with you and you never get over it.

Try something for me, please: pick someone you love. A parent, grandparent, brother, sister, good friend, dog...  they can be living or not. Put just the two of you in a room. Now look them in the eye and tell them you are going to kill yourself. Wait a moment and listen to their answer. You are going to leave a trail of devastation in your wake.  Do you want that?


Yes, Mr. Know-it-All...

My wife suffers from a number of chronic illnesses; among them, bipolar disorder. When she gets depressed, sometimes it doesn't stop there and heads straight for the depths of hell. This resulted in suicide attempts. Through proper medication and therapy, she learned to at least be alert to her feelings. If she starts thinking about hurting herself, she goes to the hospital, where she hangs out until the urge passes and she learns some new coping skills.

Let's talk about devastation.
One day, a long time ago, my wife had to go to the hospital. She awoke in the emergency room, hooked up to all sorts of machines. She was terrified. Then she looked around the room at her best friend and her husband, who didn't know if she was going to make it. They were a wreck. She thought of her family, including a sister who fell and died, and the effects on the family. Right then, she swore there would be no more of this. She was in pain, but never really experienced the effects her actions would have on those around her.

I don't like talking about any of this but maybe it will help someone.
I felt miserable most of my life. It wasn't right. Well into adulthood it finally hit me: I wasn't supposed to feel this way (not very quick on the draw, am I?).  I was diagnosed with depression. It took a while to get the meds right, during which I got pretty low. I could sit in a chair for days, angry or sad or generally miserable, unable to do much of anything that involved getting off the chair. I would never hurt or kill myself.. it's not remotely possible. But at that time, I understood why people killed themselves. Fortunately I don't go there anymore.

Please learn from our experience. Please read it again if you're not convinced. Reach out.. you have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Daytime TV Causes More Suicides Than Depression

My wife watches daytime tv.
I cannot begin to describe the horrors. Unless you've spent even a day watching, you do not understand the sheer torture involved.

Broadcast tv went to hell years back, with radio. There's absolutely nothing of value, with the possible exception of news, and even that's questionable.  Things seem to go in blocks, starting with news at some hour at which even plants (and ants) are still sleeping. Then it goes to Yack Shows, where one or groups of women talk about celebrities, including Wendy Williams; an exceedingly tall woman with 400 wigs and humongous breast implants. You never see her and Frankenstein in the same room, but I shall go no further. The only thing worse than this gossip hound is her mind-controlled audience, whose entire output consists of drooling and "WOO WOO." Then a couple of non-caucasian women yack about celebrities and all talk at the same time. Then a huge block of Judge Shows, including Judge Judy, who is the rudest woman on tv and an incredibly negative Jewish stereotype. These go on for hours, with anyone who can fit into a robe raining down justice on some of the dimmest bulbs ever to appear in court. It's not fair to expect people to have a college degree (I couldn't pass the drinking exam) but most of these people don't have high school degrees. If they do, all of them failed grammar. Four times. They might not have left high school til they were twenty five, several days before they appeared on the show.

In between and around the March of the Stupid are the 'movies'. Because there is nothing on tv and because there isn't an original thought left in tv (or movies or music), new stations are popping up (like vicious weeds you cannot kill). They are probably taking advantage of copyright lapses and airing the absolute worst crap you can imagine: black and white war movies, 1970s television shows, and the real mind-blower - an entire network devoted to 70s game shows.

Wife is fascinated with history, with a special emphasis on those wacky and wild nazis. I don't claim to understand this and probably don't want to. As a result, there are frequently nazi movies on tv. You know - the family friendly, touching nazi movies. But do not despair.. non-nazi war movies are good too, provided they're black and white. Were people black and white in the forties? When war is temporarily over, the 'classic' black and whites start, with murder mysteries and stories of men loving unhinged women and someone killing someone else for the money.  One network picks ten of these gems, perhaps throwing in a 70s or 70s or 80s horrid period classic (in color!), and runs them all month. I don't even watch this crap and can recognize some of the lines. Wife, who has the attention span of a fly and the continuity of an infant, can watch this delightful deluge of mediocrity each time, with it being new each time.

So I sit there, diligently doing something horribly important on my computer, and being forced to listen to this drivel.

Don't forget the commercials! 1-800-SUE! If you've been injured, experience death, have mesothilioma, or transvaginal mesh, there are altruistic guardians of what is right called lawyers. You may be entitled to a cash reward and these folks are right there to help you. After you're done litigating, there are about fourteen variations of the Need Cash Now commercial, which run til you want to get all stabby with close family members. Finally, you can get paid to take care of your very sick relatives or be a cosmetologist. Both require silly outfits.

I have to admit it's fascinating to look at bits of 70s tv, to see how far we've come in production and technology (and writing - my God). Of all shows, CHIPS (remember that?) has absolutely the best car crashes we have ever seen, bar none. Today's car crashes cannot hold a candle (or a flamethrower) to these. The entire freeway winds up littered with completely smashed up hulks of 70s Land Yachts. The world could probably do without Rockford Files, Quincy, and the rest of the 'programming,' especially the torturous Murder, She Wrote, which runs two episodes, for the specific purpose of getting viewers to change the channel to some other mind-eating network. Like the Game Show Network. Can you imagine watching Jeopardy from 1974? The host and all of the contestants have been dead for 20 years. If you don't watch out, you might join them.

• We are still fighting the Great Ant War of 2017 but it appears the ants have decided to stop sending soldiers to the front. We're getting stragglers. Perhaps they found a better target. What could ants possibly want in a bathroom. A tub area? I hope they went to visit the Crazy Lady, although I suspect even they are terrified of her. If the ants ever take over, only she will be left standing.

Police are getting bodycams that identify places and people. The manufacturer, Motorola, claims it's not facial recognition, it's object recognition. Yeah, ok.  This is all ok, though, because it's for the children. No, really, they're tugging heartstrings because it can look for missing children. Heaven help us. When this gets loose, which it will, it will only get worse. Let's see... my state has facial recognition on drivers licenses. Wanna bet.....

While we're at it, there's a critical flaw in Segway Hoverboards, making them vulnerable to cyberattacks. There you are, Michael J. Fox, on your hoverboard, when some wag cyberchild hijacks the local surveillance camera to watch what happens when he turns the hoverboard upside down, hurtling you to the sidewalk. Seven minutes later, it's uploaded to Faceyspaces.

• Google is using your entire search history to create a personalized news feed. Although there are certain things you can do to minimize what Google knows about you, the best way is to stop using it. Duckduckgo is the way to go.

Pennsylvania is reporting ninety billion hacking attempts against it last year. There is no information available about how they arrived at this number, but it looks to be in reaction to scores of reports that they were hacked during the election. Let's ignore the fact that this breach might have something to do with the last election (seriously?). PA does want us to rest assured there is no evidence of the Russians hacking into the voting machines. No evidence at all. Nothing to see here - go on home.

I suspect the total number was arrived at by taking the number of stop signs in the state and dividing it by the number of pet squid belonging to the residents in the state. The resulting number is multiplied by that year's state deficit and added to the governor's salary. This number is divided by the number of strip clubs visited by state employees with state funds. See - easy as PI.

• A Canadian family had some interesting luck the other day. They were having some ice cream when someone bit into something, later identified as a catheter. The ice cream company charged them extra for the medical device, the health system had the police arrest them for using an unprescribed medical device and, being Canadian, the family apologized.

If English managed to produce a lot of words that had the first and second letter capitalized, I'd be the fastest typist on the planet.

• Senator John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer at the Mayo Clinic. ThermionicEmissions wishes him good health. He has already introduced legislation to bomb the clinic.  
• No, it's never too soon.

A Florida man, upset that AT&T trucks were parked on his property, asked them to move. Apparently he was not satisfied with the answer because he came back with a gun, shot out all four tires on one truck, walked to the other truck, reloaded, and shot out each of those tires too. He also shot out a radiator and into the body of a truck. In the obligatory interview with the neighbor, who only spoke Spanish (because this is Florida, US), he was such a nice guy.

In unrelated news, AT&T has ordered all of its employees to take an intensive two week course in what is a driveway and what isn't a driveway, as well as in which you should park the truck. So far there has been an eighty percent fail rate.

• Internet of Things Strikes Again: Alexa, everybody's favorite in-home listening device, got remotely updated so now its users are part of Amazon's Social Network.  You upload your contacts to the mobile app and everything gets thrown into the network, including the pool guy, some person you helped with their computer, people you don't remember, and your car mechanic. All of these people can add you. You can add them. If you don't like them, there was no way to block, but Amazon fixed that. If you want out, you have to call an actual person to be unsubscribed.
• As one would expect, Alexa users aren't really concerned. Ho-hum.

The dog did everything but sit on my head this morning in bed. He did walk up, plop down on my pillow, and proceeded to pant and whine, about five minutes before the alarm was scheduled to go off. No one set the dog for that time, so it was annoying. When I went to let him out, he went and slept by the door in the other direction. I thought the poor little bugger wanted to go out, get some breakfast, or some meds... no - he woke me up so he could sleep in a different place. You tell me who is running the house.

Just Paying Additional Shipping and Handling

Yesterday I hit the Daily Double, when power and cable went out, one after the other. Today only the cable went out. But I am not worrying, as Comcast has their Best People on it.

Let this serve as inspiration to you, that if cable internet/tv is important to you, you have some sort of Uninterruptible Power Supply (UPS), aka Battery Backup. They are available in many ratings and packages. Some newer Comcast and FIOS installations have a battery backup for their service.Plug in all your devices you want to continue working in event of power outage: cable modem, router, wireless, laptops, chargers, etc. These will protect you in the event of power outage, but not cable outage.

• When asked, "Won't the laws of mathematics trump the laws of Australia?", the prime minister replied, "The laws of mathematics are very commendable, but the only law that applies in Australia is the law of Australia." Next up: Australia enacts law against gravity.

Jet, the online retailer bought by Walmart last year, has struck a deal with smart access provider Latch in an effort to make deliveries easier for its customers in urban areas. What this means is that deliveries can make it past the main joint door and tenants can allow the delivery in from their cell phones. Oh yeah, access will also be granted to all of Jet's business partners will automatically get access. What could possibly go wrong?

• It's World Emoji Day. Emergency Rooms across the world are on alert for people slitting their wrists and taking huge amounts of any kind of pills they have around the house. This blog is and will always remain, 100% Emoji-Free.
• Bulletin: cancer cured.

The people whose information got stolen from Ashley Madison, the cheaters' website, are eligible for up to $3,500, via a $11.2 million settlement. Not that readers of ThermionicEmissions would need this information...

• Finally, a Mac item I can get behind. Unfortunately you cannot make use of it without iTunes and the iPencil.

The FBI has warned parents that Internet of Things toys could present a safety and privacy risk.  You're kidding. No, really - the FBI wasted no time in jumping on this matter to keep you safe. After all - it's for the children! 

Seriously.. a federal agency, so far beyond things that they are just getting around to issuing an alert on IoT-connected toys. How long have I been warning you about this? When it implodes, which it will, it will give me no pleasure to say "I told you so."  Ok, maybe a little.

• Apparently the Hollywood Bowl gave up wood from its seats. Fender is making guitars out of the wood at $12,000 each. That's a little steep for most of us, and of questionable value (and tone) for those who can afford one. Perhaps they need a clever ad campaign:
• Monty Python may have blown their nose at it
• the wood was very wet when the Beatles played
• Hendrix burned an entire row ($20k extra for the burnt wood model)
• Jim Morrison had sex in the first row (with himself), right before the police showed up
• I'm a natural ad man, aren't I?

The secret to self-driving cars is to drive them yourself.

• Does Steve Harvey shout out the wrong name in bed?

I really like tying my wife up. Sometimes we have sex.

• Toasters are a cruel joke, played upon us by the Bread Lobby. I put my bread in, like any normal person, and set it to medium. When it's done, it becomes apparent that the toaster and I are not in agreement about what constitutes medium. I think medium is defined as starting to turn brown. Toaster thinks medium is kinda warm. But only on odd-numbered days. Regardless, I get frustrated and put the semi-toast back in. At this point, no matter how I set it, the toast is coming out black - there's simply no way to avoid this. I've tried old toasters, new toasters, and toaster ovens, all with the same results. So if I'm still in a Toast Mood, I have start over again, with new bread, enriching the Bread Industry.