An esteemed coworker wondered aloud why it is that every time there is a systems failure on a Carnival ship, it immediately affects the plumbing.
First Mate, the anchor has broken - man the toilets!
Captain - our radios have failed. I'll get the toilet paper.
Let me be the first to suggest some minor changes in their advertising:
Excrement Cruise Lines
Come Cruise with Us (and Shit)