Monday, March 28, 2016

Brussels Sprouts

Marshall the cocker will eat raw Brussels sprouts, but he prefers them slathered in butter and salt.

Moments after the explosion, the French rushed right in and did the right thing: they surrendered to the Brussels Airport, American Airlines Division.

  • In England, sexting among under-16s is 'skyrocketing', leaving the rest of us to wonder, longingly, where this technology was when WE were young.

The FBI is warning new car owners about hacking risk (from the FBI).

  • Batman vs Superman? We have truly exhausted every plot imaginable. God vs Muhammed? The Tick vs Bipolar Bear?

The self-lacing shoe? Have we finally reached the point where we're too lazy to tie our own shoes (people in pain aside)? I appreciate the surety of taking the trash out and untying my shoes automatically (and tripping). Or running out after the dog at 3am because he's barking. This way, the neighbors get the dog barking and me cursing over shoelaces magically coming untied. I think the neighbors look forward to these events (it's a quiet neighborhood). But seriously.. self-dressing underwear? Auto-install bras would take half the fun out of things.

  • What happens when you introduce an innocent Artificial Intelligence chat robot to Twitter? Well, it's kind of predictable - you get an evil Hitler-loving, incestual sex-promoting, 'Bush did 9/11'-proclaiming robot. There is a slight possibility that aritficial intelligence is not ready for prime time.

A woman has married the sperm donor father of her child. Dates, like sperm, are hard to come by.

  • TMZ, the foul, evil, stupid tv show, has been sued for naming the wrong rapper who cut his penis off. Is this a thing now?

A Saudi prince has been sued for trashing a $100,000 Hollywood mansion via wild cocaine, stripper-fueled parties. Who knew the Saudis could party like this?

  • Flight MH370 has become so good at not being found that a remote-controlled robot that was searching for it disappeared.

Bill and Ted 3 is waiting for a script and has studio support. This includes Alex Winter (who is working on a Frank Zappa movie) and Keanu Reeves. Whether or not we want to see it is anyone's guess.

When I die and go to hell, it will look just like Chuck E. Cheese

1 comment:

  1. I've never set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant. I shall endeavor to never do so, actually. Not that I have anything against pizza; it's all those damned kids running around that I'd find annoying. If I'm going to eat pizza, I want to eat it in peace and quiet, so that I can hear my arteries clogging. Praise Murican Jeebus! Haymen!