Standing When Hendrix Plays

John Lennon's killer, Mark Chapman, was again denied parole. Why do Chapman and Manson have such a difficult time with the parole board?

• Can we admit that we never got, nor will we ever get, Yoko Ono? Let's just be done with it. Fast Fact: her real name is Margaret Onowitz. Another Fast Fact: no it isn't (as far as I know).

While John Kerry has almost fulfilled the broken laugh potential of Joe Biden, today he has finally been involved in a useful headline: John Kerry gets stuck in a traffic jam in New Delhi. It's about time we got some value for our money.. when he's stuck in traffic, he doesn't do as much Stupid Stuff.

• In a brand new and exciting concept for improving the quality of government, North Korea has executed its vice premier for education. We need to examine this new quality initiative.

Are you having trouble getting your life down on paper? You can now hire a personal historian. Because your history is so bleeding important.

• Mexicans are very angry that their president invited Trump to his place. I think the whole Wall thing is a bad idea. Mexico needs to build a wall and pay for it on Mexican soil. Problem solved.

Florida State football star Travis Rudolph ate lunch with a lonely autistic boy.while visiting a Tallahassee, Florida school. I'm no sports fan but we need this kind of grace and humility in the world today.

• In France, Muslims attacked a couple for ordering ham on their pizza. I firmly believe this should not be limited to Muslims. Ham is not an acceptable pizza topping. Try pepperoni. Or bacon.

If you have an account at Brazzers.com, a large adult site, your account was probably hacked (not that any of us view that sort of thing, of course). The intruders got in and discovered the passwords were kept in plain text - in any situation where anyone gives a crap about security, passwords are encrypted or at least messed up enough to be unrecognizable. I'd delete my account, especially if I had any details other than name and password.

• Sophos, a security firm, started hearing that their malware protection system protected against a normal Windows file, referring to it as malware. Sophos issued an emergency patch. Some of us maintain that Windows is malware.

Oral sex is fun, but more importantly, it's healthy!

• a man accused of egging a neighbor's home over 100 times is awaiting his sentence. 100 times. This is a man who could use a hobby (that didn't involve eggs). Perhaps a Brazzers account.