Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Apple Follies

Why I Hate Apple: Work decided the iDevice they provided needed an operating system 'upgrade' and let me know. Following the destructions, I told the phone to upgrade. It refused to, demanding wifi access. Work does not provide wifi access. Now I will have to open Fort Knox (my home network) so the infernal device will update. I hope it doesn't wreck my wireless system or my entire network.

Why I Hate Microsoft: Due to an incredibly complex, yet indescribably silly system, my computer at work tends to receive 'updates' on weird schedules, if at all. When the system has to reboot, it becomes completely unavailable to me if I need to work from any other desk or system. The updates usually come with no notice and reboot the computer in the middle of the day, usually when I'm using it. This particular imperative update appeared not so much an update as a Hose The System patch. When I logged in, it just kinda stared at me, daring me to launch the device into low earth orbit (LEO). Rebooting, it continued to sit there, mocking me, at which point I put my head in my hands and prayed for a system that would allow me the exceedingly complex task of allowing me to work. In my office environment, working is not specifically encouraged (or discouraged) and when a system goes down, it's time to Get Social, very loudly, with a neighbor (or four). Being Old School, I want to work.

Ten minutes later, the system appeared to be doing something, and by doing something, I mean the hard drive light was flashing, in either a non-mocking fashion or a very sophisticated mocking that completely went over my head. Another five minutes later, I was in. Mind you, I still couldn't work because some of the network systems wouldn't connect, so perhaps this counted as half a victory.

Why I Hate My Job: I don't really hate my job - I just hate that I have so much trouble doing my job, due to software, configuration, and hardware screwups. Rather than test updates, I suspect they wander around to any old employee and ask if they think we should distribute an upgrade. Any Old Employee, being a total moron, hears the word Update and vigorously shakes their head in the affirmative.  If the question was "Should we distribute an update that will hose every computer in the corporation?" all the employee would hear is Update and approve it heartily. Being the curious sort, I asked a coworker if she was having any new issues (as opposed to unaddressed old issues) after the update. She said no trouble, other than taking twice as long to log in. Well, that sounds like trouble to me, but my coworker might be the person asked if the entire corporation should Update. Being a troubleshooting sort, I asked who I should contact to report this and she stopped completely, pondering this metaphysical dilemma, and said she couldn't think of a person who could help or who would be receptive to this information. My coworker has been employed for twenty years. This does not mean she's a complete idiot - it means that in twenty years, she has not found a single helpful systems person who could help.

And now, just for fun, the Helpdesk software isn't answering my call for help.
For some slightly more fun, I can't get into a scheduled meeting today.
I have a new goal for the day: to get through it while remaining in my seat, without explosions.

This has been a weird morning.

  • There's a very serious Android issue/hack happening. It actually goes back to an old linux issue (Android is built on linux). The issue has been patched on linux but android, because there are so many phone vendors with their own crap loaded on top of android that it won't be fixed anytime soon (if at all). The hack could already be incorporated into android programs. The best advice, which actually is best practice, is to only get your software from Official Sources and download only well-known programs from well-known companies. Crap can come from offshore or small authors and often hides in games and popular categories of programs. You have been warned.

The AT&T Time Warner merger is drawing scrutiny for all sorts of things, no less whether they can preserve CNN's journalistic integrity. I suspect that's something like the legacy of Hillary's veracity.

  • The Pentagon is investigating artificial intelligence, with weapons that can identify targets and make (kill or not kill) decisions. My only question is will it be more accurate on city streets than police. Or will it be programmed to shoot black people automatically. [NOTE: satire]

Some health plan costs will increase by an average of 25%, Aren't we already paying an obscene amount for coverage? 25% more? Obama and everyone who voted for this should be jailed NOW. But before we throw away the key, the Rs and Ds need to FIX IT NOW. Not promise after the election.

I'm about to undergo a benefits interruption. This means I'll be without insurance (that I have to pay out of pocket due to $5k deductible) or pay another $500 per month for Obamacare until the situation changes (soon). I'm sick over this. We're at the point that my insurance is waaaay more than my wife's insurance, and she's the chronically ill one.

  • As if it weren't enough that the druggies are dispatching themselves with Oxycontin and other opioids, word comes in that people are abusing (DRINKING!) hand sanitizer because of its high levels of alcohol. We need sensible hand sanitizer laws. Only criminals have hand sanitizer. Why do you need more than one squirt of sanitizer anyway? Large dispensers must be forbidden.

A British Air flight was diverted after members of the crew became ill. No word on what kind of ill or if there was contraband hand sanitizer involved.

  • the Philippine president told the US to forget about the defense deal if he stays in longer.  Good, I say - give him what he wants. It's all part of my evil plan to stop 'exporting democracy'. Let's put our money where our mouth is... Support our troops: bring them home.

Despite the recall and very real possibility of explosion or fire, some Samsung Note 7 users do not want to give up their phones. Pyromaniacs? Masochists? Suicidal? New drug testing? Unbelievably kinky?

  • Today is National Pumpkin Day - tomorrow is National Poor Excuse For A Day Day

---> Be helpful to someone today: after they trip, say "be careful" <---

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