Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Yes, Pastor, Those Are Your Wife's Nudes

You think you're having a bad day.. and you just might be.. but this guy might win an award. He filed a suit against a Texas Toyota dealership alleging nude photos of his wife were sent to a swingers' site while he was buying a Toyota last year.

Hmmm..... I think I'm getting a feeling....

The allegations are quite serious under the law and the pastor and his wife have retained famous lawyer Gloria Allred (parodied on Family Guy as Gloria Ironbox). The salesman did maintain an account on the swingers' site and there's some electronic proof of hijinks, so I wouldn't want to be him at this point.

This blog would be doing a disservice to its readers if it didn't, at some point, say that pastors NEVER join swinging sites or take naked pictures of their wives or girlfriends or boyfriends or small furry rodents. And after they never submit these pictures, they also never blame anybody else because they would never have done such a thing. Unfortunately, the name of the swinging site was not released. Because we need to do our due diligence to discover facts in this case.

  • although it has been joked about before and although it is doubted that this is correct, I wanted to share a small item of information on the combination of dogs and Roombas.

So maybe I'm wrong about the whole Internet of Things concept. A certain Whirlpool dryer will post a tweet when its drying cycle is finished. Because you need this in your life.

  • My stomach is growling, which isn't all that odd. What IS odd is that there's a call and response thing happening between one side and the other. With different pitch growls. Do I ignore it or call an exorcist?

Thought for the day: it's way too early this morning.

  • An Italian actress who pledged to perform sex acts upon people who voted no in a referendum is poised to become a woman of her word, scheduling appearances in many cities. We do not have this kind of stand-up behavior in the US: Madonna offered blowjobs to people voting for Hillary and an adult actress called Mia Kalifa offered the same for Trump voters. Neither came through.  America will never be the Best Country until we are all people of our word.

This poor British dude lost his penis in a childhood accident and recently got it replaced at tremendous cost. When word of his eight inch appliance, which could go forever, got out, he was deluged with offers. This far he has only used it with a local working girl and says he's too busy to take anyone else up on their offers.  I dunno.. I suspect we have different priorities....

Along related lines, a man was found, dead, with his penis cut off, in an NYC rest room. At this point all my male readers are bent over, crossing their legs involuntarily.

  • Southwest Airlines had to make an unscheduled stop yesterday due to an additional passenger. A woman gave birth on the place. A representative for Southwest said they were overjoyed that everybody was ok and they would only charge the newborn half the going rate.

A man fatally shot his wife for urging him to kill himself. I suspect he would have gotten the better deal either way.

  • Nancy Pelosi, stalwart silly person and California's recurring nightmare, just said, "I don't think people want new direction." There is also talk of California seceding from the US.  I think this is a perfect idea, especially if they appoint Pelosi as their representative. This way, no one will have to do anything and nothing will ever get done. 

Here's a well-written beginner's guide to beefing up your privacy and security online.

  • Be careful of what you say at Virginia Tech: there is now a list of 50 expressions to be considered microaggressions. This joyous celebration of free speech came from meetings that included such stalwarts of independent thinking as the NAACP, the Muslim Student Association, and the Jewish Student Union.

A thief was recently apprehended with the aid of a BMW. The remote access system kept the doors locked until the police arrived. Yay - one for the good guys. Hang on... car doors being locked remotely? Remote control of many car functions, including acceleration and braking (already hacked on some cars)? All of this overriding the driver's actions?  Perhaps not.  Remember this when you buy a car.

  • Mrs lefty and I were discussing her recent revulsion for the coming cold, as well as her revulsion for the heat/humidity as she gets older. I'm no great fan of either but I don't complain - it means I don't have to MOW anymore!

NOTE to anyone considering a blog on this platform: the spell checker does not recognize yay, ok, or blowjob.

Don't forget your Christmas shopping!

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