Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Nursing Home Roulette

In sad news, teen idol David Cassidy (The Partridge Family) is suffering from dementia.

  • Everybody set for the Oscars? No? It can't be because you're not completely invested in the very important political views of the actors and actresses, could it?

A couple in London are in court, which isn't that odd. What they're in court for is a doozy... the lady and gentlemen registered for a civil partnership, which, unfortunately, was not valid the moment they signed for it. In the UK (except Northern Ireland), civil partnerships are for couples of the same sex. The court, as courts do, ruled against the couple. The three judges agreed that the couple is being treated differently because of their sexual orientation, but felt the government needed a little more time to make a decision. The couple has opened a Gofundme page for the 25,000lbs they need to take the case to the Supreme Court.

Why civil partnership, you ask?
Good question. The only difference I could find is that partnership ceremonies can be performed in private, where marriages must be in public and conducted by clergy. By clergy?

  • Yeah, I do go on about security, but it's for good reason. How to encrypt your entire life in less than an hour is a great, simple tutorial on how to make security happen in your electronic life. It's not difficult and it's part of how we do things here at ThermionicEmissions.

I went into a Staples the other day and asked the nice young lady standing in the printer aisle where I could find an all-in-one laser printer. She stood there, looked quizzically at me, thought about it for a second or two, then advised me that all their printers were in this row.

This may indicate why their prices are so ridiculously high: they need to make up the lost income from people storming out the door.  I'm advanced enough to find and compare without the able assistance of employees but not everybody is. When I mentioned this on Twitter, a Staples representative made a text noise that indicated banging her head on her desk, apologized, then asked what I was looking for in a printer. This is good customer service and is indicative of many brands that have a Twitter presence. After all, you don't want to be slagged off in front of the entirety of Twitter. In the store, I was mentally composing this paragraph, because life is like that.

  • I'm not sure what it means but Kid Rock is running for office and Ted Nugent is looking to in 2018. MGAA - Make Government Amusing Again? Ted has the distinction of being the only bipolar who is 100% manic.

The barista in Starbucks asked if he could help me. I asked for directions to Dunkin Donuts.

  • My siblings and I are irresistible, if for nothing other than our nose hair.

I campaigned on the MAHA ticket (Make America Horny Again). I see that my work here is done.

  • We were so poor, my parents couldn't afford bipolar disorder. All I got was unipolar depression.

Cleaning continues at the house. When I say it continues, I mean it happens in spurts between crises like the dog, bursting pipes, brakes, inspections, and bipolar disorder. While bipolar disorder is a very handy weight loss program (you can't eat when you can't get out of bed), it absolutely sucks eggs for a cleaning program. You'd think mania would be good for cleaning, as you'd get more done, but not so fast... yes, more appears to get done, but it's completely haphazard, with many areas being 'cleaned' at once and nothing completed.

So there is a small window in which cleaning can be accomplished. This window can vary from three microseconds to three hours, unless you take the time away from sleep, which helps clean, but causes lack of sleep problems on the back end.

My wife pulled off a spectacular feat of cleaning. I wondered about this as I woke for work, with no wife in the bed and no dog on my pillow. There were also no elephants on my pillow, which worked out wonderfully for all concerned.

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