You Picked a Bad Morning to Run Windows

If you haven't patched every version of Windows you use DO IT NOW, per earlier blog post, lest you lose all your files to ransomware. BACK UP YOUR FILES OFFLINE.

In case you're curious, everybody's best friend, the NSA, hoards vulnerabilities as weapons, not reporting them to (in this case) Microsoft. Unfortunately, these vulnerabilities got leaked and the Bad People are now using them. The letter agencies are completely out of control.

A very side effect of this is that medical equipment is getting infected. Do you want those machines that go PING next to your hospital bed to be infected? Why does this happen?  Since many medical devices run on Windows and they are connected to the local network, they can easily get infected with WannaCry."

Odds are my readers are not employed as security professionals. That said, reading the above sentence, what would you recommend? Yes, this is your future... your fridge will eventually hold your food hostage.

• United Airlines has taught themselves (hopefully) and us important lessons. One of their attendants leaked the cockpit door combination online. The lessons are to not drag people off planes when there's video and no matter how secure you are from the outside, there's always idiots on the inside who will screw things up. We have seen the enemy and it is us.

In the latest installment of Hackers Have Your Movie, Disney's new Pirates of the Caribbean is being held hostage and Disney isn't paying up. CEO Bob Iger has the Feds involved, but I wonder how long it will take until Bob's private files, featuring the donkeys, become public... or the Mouse House comes down on the private parts of the hackers.

In other, deeply personal hacking news, Brooks Brothers has been hacked; the hackers made off with payment card details.  When I think of all the money I paid for a closet full of high quality suits, I realize I can't even tell you where a Brooks Brothers store is. They want you to know they're right on top of the matter, though, as it has only been going on for about a year.

• I bought a laptop stand. It's pretty much a tray table but looked like it would do the job. I enjoy the thing, but not near as much as Marshall, who has taken to camping out underneath it, like an awning, or right next to it, so I can't get around him. It's almost like he's part cat. Currently he's in doggie dreamland, farting up a storm and choking off my oxygen. If anybody strikes a match, the whole place is going up.

CBS has been slammed for new fall shows, all starring men. 

Whine whine... 

Let's get together and collaborate on some possible starring replacements for men:

• talking breasts
• fish
• dust from vertical blinds
• carburetors
• elephants

please chime in.

• James Patrick Page, guitar player of some note, in a band called Led something or other, is dating a 26 year old woman. Fame and talent hath its privileges, as she's one-third his age. Are you getting the idea about why I want to be a Big Rock Star<tm>?

A woman stabs her boyfriend. This is generally acknowledged as a Pretty Bad Thing. Well, she may be getting off because it will hurt her career prospects. Is this what they refer to as Male Privilege? 

• Cardiff, Wales, home of the fictional Torchwood, is gearing up for its Naked Bike Ride protest.  It is not immediately apparent whether the protest is against naked bike riding or something else, but I dare not click the link, as it goes to Faceyspaces.  This event could go spectacularly wrong, so I advise caution if there's a live feed.
• As if anyone could get enough of Wales, people are OUTRAGED at the ASDA retail chain is selling a jumper that says "Boys will be boys." The lead malcontent claims this maintains damaging stereotypes. Not mentioned was the other boys jumper that says "I have a penis," which also maintains the damaging stereotype that boys have penises (and can't identify as girls, presumably).

RIP Chris Cornell, former frontman for Soundgarden. He died suddenly and unexpectedly (of suicide). Another of rock's great lead voices gone. He was an original.

Please talk to someone. Seek help. Tell a friend. There is assistance. You don't have to feel this way. And there will be a lot of people left in your wake after you go. Condolences to Chris' wife and two children.

Lastly, this means people will pay more attention to Eddie Vedder. Nothing good can come from this.

• Qualcomm has a patent on for internet-connected shoes. What could possibly go wrong?

Twitter has updated its privacy policy. Remembering that everything is opposite from the way it sounds, this means that Twitter has updated the way it ruins your privacy. The results are fairly astounding. Check it out.

• Tired of the ridiculousness coming out of the college professors, a Portland State University professor and mathematician collaborated to write a hoax paper called "The Conceptual Penis as a Social Construct." Reviewers loved it, even though the authors tried to make is as incoherent as possible.  Nice to see a little humor in the process.