I have no idea why, but I've been messing with my phone for a while. Techies like to tech. I have the phone humming along, with all sorts of neato apps (except the three that die as soon as they come up). Android allows you to move some of the apps to an additional memory card to save space on the internal memory, so I moved most of my apps to my trusty SD card.
As a Certified Geek, I cannot live with three apps not working, so I set about troubleshooting. Everything I tried failed to make the apps fire up, so I did what all geeks do: look it up online, via Duckduckgo.com. Technically I had to look up how to get the back off the phone first, as I have not had it off since I put the SD card in, over three years ago.
After performing the extremely difficult removing the back procedure, I figured the actual fix would be easy.
It wasn't. [there's that foreshadowing thing again]
The first step to fixing just about anything is, in the words of the IT Crowd, "have your tried turning it off and turning it on again?" Yes, three times before I came to the web page, thank you. Then it suggested to remove the memory card and see if the apps work, proving it is the card itself. Ok, kinda silly, but I'll go with it. Even a techie occasionally lets someone else drive.
I'm not the neatest person on the planet. In fact, I'm not anywhere near the neatest person on the planet. In a recent survey, there were about three billion people on the planet. I was ranked number 2.5 billion in the Most Not Neat group. As a result, I'm meticulous when I take something apart, so I can put it back together neatly and correctly. Funny how that works... the slobs can look neat and the people who lose everything put things in only certain places, so they appear neat. The only flaw is that if you interrupt them after they take things apart, they'll never remember the project existed and when they find it, three years later, will have no idea how to reassemble it or where the parts are.
I have one pile for the back and the 14 components in the Otterbox case. These cases will protect your phone from nuclear holocaust, although it won't work quite as well after, what with every cell tower and network on the planet being melted radioactive liquid. You can play solitaire, but I'd recommend against Words with Friends.
The second 'pile' consisted of the mini micro grain of rice SD card. I thought to myself that I better put it in a safe, non-magnetic place where I can see it and it won't be disturbed.
Obviously the SD card wasn't the problem, so, having exhausted all mechanical troubleshooting, it was time to reassemble the phone. This was a breeze, right up until I couldn't find the mini micro grain of rice SD card. Very funny, I thought... I put the card in a place so safe, it was safe from me finding it.
I asked Mrs lefty for a flashlight. It was a brief ten minutes later that she returned, with a half broken light that you had to pummel to make work. This is sad, but not a surprise. She collects flashlights ('torch' in the UK). She buys one whenever she sees one, just like her pen fetish. As a result, she cannot find any flashlights. When we can find pens, they inevitably won't write. In a recent survey, she was ranked number 2.899 billion in the Most Not Organized group.
I flashlighted in a ten foot radius from where I was sitting.
Nothing.
I did find the engine from my 1974 Chevy station wagon, plus random body parts and coffee stains from the previous occupant.
Sometimes I out-brilliant myself.
I asked Mrs lefty for a fourth pair of eyes. She was absolutely relentless in pursuit of the card. She look over things and under things. She made me take my shoes off, in case it had fallen into one. I listened because if anyone had an idea, it might help. However, I failed to see the significance of taking off my pants and the thorough strip search that followed. As a good and dutiful husband, I did what was necessary (happy wife, happy life). Still no card, but she was impressed that I shaved her name into certain body hair.
Well, color (colour in the UK) me flummoxed. Then color me panicked... remember, I put all my apps partially on the card. I put the original files to the apps on the card. My music collection is there, as are my pictures; even the G-rated ones. The pit of the stomach dropping to my feet was the end result of this folly. I'm sure I have most, if not all of this backed up, but still.. hours of work. 75% of my apps on the desktops are grayed out. There is a smattering of still functioning programs, because their authors were too stupid to allow them to run on the SD card, bless them.
Suddenly I remembered.... I can text on it!
If there's a life or death crisis, I can even call someone with it.
Phew. (bloody bangers and mash in the UK)
Later today, I will discover it right in front of my nose. Literally.
I will look in the mirror, purely by accident, and find it attached to my nose.
I must go now, and chastise myself for being so stupid. At least until I can find somebody else to blame.
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