OMG, I Can't Even, Fam

Language is weird.
Stuff sometimes crosses from social media to the real world.
It's really sad for people who rarely venture into social media, and people who do venture into social media. In fact, it's sad for everybody.

I'm sitting there, minding my own business, as I tend to do a lot, when I hear "O. M. G. I can't believe it."

Excuse me?

O. M. G. I can't believe it.

You don't say OMG in real life. You say Oh My God. OMG is a shortener so you can fit more words in a text. And because many people can't spell Oh My God.

Nu-uh.

[I strap myself in, sensing this is going to be a long chat]
I'm just trying to help. If you say OMG outside the house, people will think you're....  a little slow.

Nu-uh.

[This is going to be worse than I thought.]
Have you been on social media recently?

No.

Then where are you getting this stuff?

Nowhere. I'm not tellin.

It's daytime tv, isn't it?

I'm not telling.

It's that 6' tall black woman, with the size FFF implants, who looks like Frankenstein, right?

Don't pick on Wendy - she's hip.

She must be - she says OMG.

Hey - she have the down-low on the high-ups. She dishes. OMG - did you see her yesterday?

No, I was having elective dental surgery. I don't care what she says. The show is a close competitor to TMZ for worst show on tv, 1954-present.

What EVER.

Are you auditioning for a Disney sitcom?

No. You're a hater.

That's old news, Bae.

Well, yesterday on the show, she said, right after she said OMG, that...

I don't really want to know what she said, and I'm working on something right now, so could you please give me a few minutes?

Well, she said OMG, Fam, you need to see this picture of....

Excuse me. EXCUSE me. EXCUSE ME.

What?

I asked you very nicely for just a few minutes.

I was just sayin'..

Yes, of course you were just sayin'  - you won't stop just sayin'

But I was just sayin'

[Writing this phrase down as a probable issue]
Can I please just have a few minutes of silence, while I finish this proposal for world peace? It's kind of important.

Whatevs.

[Dear Lord, from the top of this bit til now, they updated it. This will not end well.]


-->a few minutes of silence later <---


Thank you - Kissinger and the trilaterals want that by midnight.
Did you hear what Wendy said today?

No.

She said she's not going to say OMG anymore, cuz that's so last week.

Shut up.

No, I saw her.

Nu-uh. Stop spreading lies.

They showed the clip of it on TMZ.

You trippin.

Nope. Just sayin...


Announcer: Tune in next week, when our darling precocious child keeps trying to explain what 'fly' means, to an adult who keeps telling her it's what you do on a plane.

• Rosario Dawson came out as LGBT+ in a new interview.
• Does this mean she's all of them or just one?
• How will this affect Cory Booker?
• Does this make her hotter or notter?

I have this strange admiration for Jimmy Carter. Not as a president - as a human being. As a wish, 10 year old cancer survivor Jimmy Carter (yes) got to meet the more senior and more former presidential Jimmy Carter. They both had cancer, they both have the same name, and younger Carter was co-president of his school. Senior Carter is a gentleman who walks the walk, teaching Sunday School.

“The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant.”   - Maximilien Robespierre

I pick on SJWs, as I should.
Now I'm asking you to read this story about sexual harassment.
It isn't from some crazed feminist harpie; it's from a coder, recently employed at Uber. This poor lady got it from all angles, from college all the way to Uber. When she looked for help, none was forthcoming. When she finally blew the whistle on the widespread misdeeds at Uber, you can guess what happened. As with government whistleblowers, she suffered greatly.

I was getting ready to do an Uber rant, but the article said it better: "..the contempt with which the employees were treated mirrored the contempt with which the customers were treated" (mine would have mentioned rape and killing).

• If you need a laugh, just remember; Disney owns the domain name “Muppet F**ker”

Question on college:

Daughter #1 receives nice letter from Yale saying to apply. Includes cost calculator. Cost for her is $306,000. 

If she invests 306k and surfs for 30 years she ends up with 2.5 million (age 48) 5 mill at 56 and easy 10mil at 65.  Why would she pick Yale?

One blind, aquatic salamander may have sat mostly still for seven years

-continues to represent Pennsylvania in Congress.

• One of the reasons I predict Nothing Good from the Internet of Things was illustrated the other day, when a 'connected' car in California couldn't reach its server and would not start. Would. Not. Start. Every other car in the multiverse starts with a key. IoT cars require phoning home before they start. This has also happened with kitchen appliances. Now add the lack of security and you start to see what's going to happen. It's a very slow motion train wreck.

Crown Royal has done a great job, branding itself as a special, high-end whiskey (wheskey if you're a Scot). You even get that boffo blue velvet bag-like thing. I remember when I was tiny, I made a Crown Royal for my grandfather, when he got home from work. I remember it being horribly strong and bad-smelling. I'm sure nothing has changed. The marketing is more effective than you think, making people question themselves: Gee, I must be crazy for not loving this liquid that takes the coating off my esophagus. Smoooooth.  Or beer. When I was a teen, friends said to keep drinking - I'd develop a taste for beer. Well, it's been 30 years and I still haven't developed a taste for beer. Or dirt.

Today I identify as  spam

We have a good relationship with one neighbor (not the 439 year old one).

She's such a sweet older lady. She was Marshall's buddy - they used to hang out together when she was planting. When she moved to a different spot, Marshall moved with her. They'd chat (or at least one of them would). Mrs lefty found out they like cupcakes, so she bought a package of 6. On the way home, it inverted, gracing the lid with bunches of icing. A day later, I went to the store and procured replacement cupcakes. These inverted on the way out of the car, but lost considerably less icing. No matter, they can't go to anyone like that. Yesterday another 6 cupcakes appeared. This morning there were 5. One of the kids required one emergently, at 3am and no one told her these were for the neighbor. We'd get them a cake, but we can't deal with the mess when it inverts.



SJW Snorkeling

Homophobic, sexist and racist patients could be barred from non-emergency care at NHS trusts, under new rules from April