Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Why I Love Linux (and Hate Cats)

So I'm upgrading a laptop from Xubuntu 10.10 to 11.04 (oscillating ocelot).  All is going incredibly smoothly, which is pretty much what I have come to expect with this process.

All of the sudden I hear the sound of an OS upgrade crashing, which exactly matches the sound of a laptop physically crashing to the ground.  Apparently the cat wanted some attention.

I will not describe any of the sounds that followed other than to say the words kill and death kept appearing.  They were the closest sounds to family friendly that were produced.

The laptop was frozen and would not reboot under any circumstances, so I had no choice but to power it down manually.  [BONUS TIP: ctl-alt-prtscn +R-E-I-S-U-B will generally get a computer rebooted].

Upon bootup, the update continued almost from where it got stuck, then went fine.
THIS is why I love linux.

My cat, not so much.

You have no doubt read here about my dear little Satan.  His previous act as FDU (Feline Desctruction Unit) was to turn on a circular faucet knob and flood the bathroom floor, ruining three layers of flooring, then seeping downstairs to ruin hundreds of old guitar magazines.

We suffered through thousands of dollars of vet bills for our diabetic darling.  We even managed to stop him from blowing up the entire house with the gas burners.  He has disembowled countless Christmas trees and ruined furniture.  He even trashed an entire vintage radio before I could restore it.

After my outburst (which you might have heard), my wife calculated that the best way to deal with all of my brilliant ideas concerning Satan would be to ignore me.  My wife is a very smart woman and this solution tends to work very well for her in general.


In a recent security class, we were coming up with all sorts of interesting ways to protect things.  One wag suggested a security guard armed with rocket-propelled grenades and a dog with an AK-47.

The thought was most amusing but when it comes to the bottom line, they need to substitute a cat with an AK-47 instead.  The cat is always a better deterrent because one never knows what an evil kitty is going to do, AK-47 or not.

Do you feel lucky today, punk?


  1. Which is why I settled on a rock as my pet. I call him, "Rock". His best trick is playing dead. In fact he constantly practices playing dead, so I don't even need to say, "You're Dead, Rock!" Or even, "Rock, play dead." ...and he never goes near my laptop.


  2. I'll tell you like I tell MS Windows users... it's YOUR responsibility to harden your system against external threats. I have no sympathy for someone who hasn't cat-proofed their systems.

    MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW... (laughing kitty)