A panel just denied poor Charlie parole. Again. For the 12th time. Since Charlie's 77, this might be his last parole hearing.
It's not like any of this was poor Charlie's fault... he just can't get a break. Charlie was born, on parole, to a mother who was also in prison. As an adult, he wandered around California, influencing the Beach Boys and the FBI, among others. Well, perhaps the FBI influenced him - who can say?
So anyway, poor Charlie holds sway over his own little mind-controlled commune and they go out murdering people, including the very pregnant Sharon Tate. The police catch the lot of them and throw them in prison.
At his first parole review, he showed his contrition by carving a swastika on his forehead.
DENIED.
Poor Charlie can't get a break.
Fifteen years later, at his next parole hearing, Charlie threatened to disembowel the entire parole board.
DENIED.
The next time, Charlie said that if released, he'd work for Richard Nixon.
DENIED.
Poor Charlie can't get a break.
After yet another fifteen years had passed, Charlie said he was genuinely sorry, and that if released, would let the rest of the world know of his divinity; asking the board to please refer to him as Jesus.
DENIED.
Just when you thought poor Charlie had finally gotten it together, his recent statement to a prison psychologist was “I have spent my life in prison. I have put five people in the grave. I am a very dangerous man.”
DENIED.
Poor Charlie can't get a break.
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Do you hate kids like I do?
Probably not.
Regardless, check out Cracked.com's 6 Biggest Fears of People Who Are Bad with Kids
The only time I think about Charlie any more is when I'm around this one chic who makes him seem like Mickey Mouse.
ReplyDeleteAs for kids - it's a proven fact that fathering children lowers a man's testosterone levels. EEK! Can't have that. I'll leave raisin' the young uns to the old dudes.
Ah... poor Charlie Manson. No parole this time, huh? The scary thing is Charlie is probably comparatively harmless compared to some of the folks out running around loose these days.
ReplyDeleteChildren? I'll pass. I think there are enough people in this world already. We need to skip a generation or two's worth of births to give poor Mother Earth a bit of a break.