Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Philadelphia Curse - It's Personal

As we know, I have company in from out of town this week.   As we also know, Philthydelphia's weather is highly variable, to be polite.  In fact, Philly and the surrounding suburbs are going to shut things down for a day and have a huge celebrity concert for the purpose of getting the funds to purchase a real climate.

The weather and I go way back.  I have ancient memories of going on vacation when I was tiny and having it rained out.  Ever since then, I've felt it has been personal.  Douglas Adams [The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy] has a great bit about a person who gets rained on wherever he goes.  He doesn't realize he is actually a Rain God.  Read the Dirk Gently novels.  Everyone should read Douglas Adams regardless.

Validation is a particularly sweet thing for me, especially with the high number of odd things that tend to happen around me.  So it was welcome when the folks at work started noticing that it wasn't, in fact, totally in my head.  Over a period of years people noticed that we could count on rain when I took off work to visit the zoo.  We could have a heat wave the likes of which would make Arizona jealous and if I took off Wednesday, it would rain.  Rain wouldn't appear in the forecast in any way, but it would rain.  One year for my birthday, my coworkers got me zoo tickets and rain ponchos [Note: not Sears ponchos].

I would like to ask Douglas Adams if I might be a Rain God too, but he had the temerity to die a number of years back, making contact all but impossible.  Lacking any other subject matter experts, I am left to wonder alone.

So I have company in from out of town this week.  After brief consultation, it was decided that I would take off work Friday so we could go to the zoo.

You see where this is going, right?

On the work calendar, I noted that I would be out Friday and to BANK ON RAIN.  

I have to tell you that the Universe is not stupid.  When I took off work and promised not to go to the zoo, it did not rain. When I took off and said I wasn't going to the zoo but intended to go anyway, it rained.

My poor friends from out of town manage to get the absolute worst of weather every time they arrive.  Usually it's the ridiculously high temperatures of summer combined with the ridiculously high humidity of summer.  In actual fact, spring and fall have been declared null in Pennsylvania, due to budget cuts.  This time my guests have been treated to our second record heatwave of the summer.  Yesterday it hit one hundred.  If you sit outside without moving, you will dissolve into whatever you're sitting upon.

But this time, the Universe had another trick up its sleeve.  Normally the forecast would be for high temperatures and sunshine, yet it would rain.  This time the Universe one-upped me....  as soon as I took Friday off, the forecast changed to rain and thunderstorms all day.   Yes, Victoria, it is personal.

Did you ever feel Universally f-d?


If I were really smart, I'd charge people to make it rain.  For several hundred dollars per acre, I would take off work for the day to go to the zoo, hence rain.  Unfortunately I can't concentrate my powers anywhere but where I live.  Perhaps I could get paid to relocate for the day and make it rain there.

Then I truly would be a Rain God.

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