Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Wisdom of the Original Americans

Today, ThermionicEmissions is proud to bring you a special guest, Chief Running Water, of the Whaddadafuk tribe.

Good morning, Chief.

Good morning and may the Great White Spirit not do anything on your parade.  We hear you've been really busy lately.

Blessings upon your teepee, Chief.  These are indeed trying times.  I was wondering if you'd grace my readers with a bit of that old fashioned wisdom which you seem to possess in droves.

Fire your arrows when ready.

First of all, why do they call you Chief Running Water?

Damned if I know.  People are always going to the bathroom after I arrive.  It's a mystery to me.

I understand that there are many omens showing up that concern the Indians.

Absolutely.  Lady Gaga, reality tv, five-legged buffalo, porn stars voting republican and Dancin' with the Stars have all been foretold by the Great Spirit.  Interesting times lay ahead.  And you know the ancient Chinese curse, right?  "May you live in interesting times."

I think I may have it tattooed on my body here somewhere....  
What many people don't know is that you were kind enough to give my pets genuine Indian names.  Marshall the Cocker is "Smells Like Cat Food" and Ren the Cat is "Hair on Pants".  Could you favor us with a few more?


Barack Obama?

Smells Like Bush.

Mitt Romney?

Chief with Many Squaw.

Mrs. leftystrat?

Large Internal Tribe.

Dick Cheney?

Flys into Buildings.

Roseanne Barr?


Penn State University?

Hooked on Preschool.

Joe Paterno?

Pedobear.  (Yes, that's originally Indian)

Joan Rivers?

Melts Near Fire.

Kanye West?


Steve Jobs?

Rotten Apple.

Bill Gates?

Do No Right.

George Bush?

Hunts with Dull Spear.

Nancy Pelosi?

Frightens Small Animals.

Fred Willard?

Right Paw Sore.


Candles Lit but No Bears in Cave.

I would like to thank Chief Running Water for spending a little time with us.   Until next, time, I am Writes with Wrong Hand.

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