When It Rains, It Pours. And It Doesn't Stop.

We're cleaning the house, although I'm not exactly sure why.

Mrs lefty is leading the Cleaning Charge, bless her.
She generally leads the Cleaning Charge.
I'll be honest - she always leads the Cleaning Charge.
She's a cleaner: I'm a knowledge worker.

Nobody here is blessed with any grace.  To put a finer point on it, we trip over our own feet. Sometimes we trip over others' feet. It's a pretty dangerous combination.

We have our routes through the house down fairly well. We can move without additional tripping or attempting to fly and failing. As Stuff is removed, the pathways get larger (yay!). However, the thing I don't understand is that we're tripping quite a bit more. With all that additional space, my clown feet are finding more things to send me airborne, then floorborne. With a clear carpet (we discovered carpet under everything), I somehow manage to kick something that's off to the side. Wife somehow manages to trip over her own feet, although this might not have anything to do with carpet (we think it might be the combination of the level floor and her feet).

The only area of the house we refuse to clean is the steps, for obvious reasons.

• Bill Cosby has been declared a 'sexually violent predator' (like all comedians)
• The only remaining question is whether they serve Jello pudding in jail

I have a great idea for the Jurassic Park endless series of movies...
Jurassic Park: The End -where an asteroid falls to Earth and destroys the park.




Today's Best Headline: Man who posed as a housewife pleads guilty to making secret sex tapes with 150 men.

A Florida man (of course, Florida) enjoyed dressing as a woman, put ads in locals about being a bored housewife, had men over, and had sex with them. He taped the goings on and put them up on a website (because it isn't sex until somebody videos it).

I vaguely remember having one sex class in grade school, so perhaps I'm a bit behind (pardon the pun), but I vaguely remember there being several significant differences between men and women. I don't care how dark it may have been - there are several things that are known to be giveaways, namely facial hair, lacking breasts, and least of all, a penis. Any of these things should be cause for alarm, if one is a straight male and determined to stay that way.

No, really - a penis?
How does one fail to notice a penis?
Even the most diminutive apparatus still qualifies as an Outie, where we would expect to find an Innie.
We must assume they were using the rear entrance. If so, how does a swinging bit escape consciousness? She could have a really really large clitoris, but they don't come in that size. Is this what they call cognitive dissonance? Active denial? Rug burn?

After the encounter, the crossdresser put the video up on his website.
Gentlemen, if this isn't enough to put you off quickies with strangers, I don't know what is. The John has a pretty good chance of not being recognized, as the site is a pay site, and ever so slightly gay.

The way I see it, if you're going to meet a stranger for an encounter, you need to do a tiny amount of research... grab the crotch. If she hits you, you were at the right place. If she smiles..... RUN.

And in the name of all that is holy, stay out of Florida. There are weird people there.



Not as great a headline, but still good: Robot brothel planned for Houston gets pushback from religious group.

Just when shy and/or ugly guys think they have a sure thing, religion is there to throw a cold shower on it.  The religious group fights sex trafficking, which is a pretty noble fight. They're concerned that this will set them back.

Why? Will this encourage robot trafficking?
Are people unable to tell the difference between a human and a robot (like they can't tell the difference between a female and a man in a dress)?

The Good Fight doesn't end there, though: the group states that the brothel is going to teach men to become rapists.

Why? Are they training them to be priests?
Perhaps they should ask Nevada, which has areas where brothels are legal. If nothing else, it's training them to pay for sex, which is great practice for the real world.

As if this weren't silly enough, they add: What's next - child robots? Where's the line?

Do you think we're that stupid or are you that stupid?
I've had sex with my wife for years. At no point did this lead to me wanting a child (for sex or via procreation).

The one great thing to come out of this is that the religious folk referred to it as a Public Masturbation Business. That's funny.

• Excited about Apple iOS 12? It has a quiet addition: it gives you a trust rating, based upon the number of calls and emails you send and receive. This is to help spot fraudulent transactions made from your phone. Bless their pointy little "we're all about privacy" heads.

According to the World Health Organization, alcohol is responsible for one in 20 deaths worldwide.

Let me correct the assertion: People pouring alcohol down their throats and driving or misbehaving is responsible for the deaths. Alcohol doesn't drive cars any more than guns shoot people.

We have a long standing War on Drugs. We're winding up a War on Opiates. Why is it ok to drive drunk? To commit violence?  Think about it.

• Do you have a Twitter account? Do you ever use the Direct Message (private) conversation function? 

• Twitter on Friday said that a recently-patched bug in its platform enabled software developers to read users’ private direct messages or protected tweets.
• Well, it's time to call the lawyers. Whatever it is, Twitter will screw it up. They're so busy kicking out undesirables, they don't care about their own security. I can't have my plans for World Domination leaked.... 

 A recent study on people's perceptions of browsers' Private Mode produced some interesting results. Understand that Private Mode offers you no more security than normal browser windows. In theory, it deletes your online activity. In practice, it doesn't always. Over here at the ThermionicEmissions sprawling complex, we concentrate on making the browsing as anonymous and safe as possible, PLUS having everything deleted when we exit the browser. It really doesn't matter if we've been looking up the safety record of Caterpillar heavy equipment or interesting uses for squid; when we tell the browser to forget history, we expect it to forget the bleedin' history. 

Along these lines, Google has updated Chrome's privacy policy. 
The moniker 'privacy policy' is about as accurate as calling tax regulations 'Legal Ways to Avoid Taxes'.  Especially interesting is the way everything winds up getting back to Google, whether directly or indirectly. Work diligently to stop this nonsense. Avoid Chrome and browsers built on Chrome.

I've recommended Iron as a Chrome build that doesn't phone home to Google. A recent 'privacy policy' proved this is not entirely true. It's very sneaky and indirect. There is an open source variant called Chromium, but I have little hope for it. I installed it recently to test it out and wasn't impressed. Avoid this crap.

• Many famous UFO cases occurred around military bases with nuclear weapons.

Here's a brief reminder on Constitutional Amendments, from some guy with a blog and no training:

To the people going on about freedom of speech being abridged on social media, you have no freedom of speech. The First Amendment guarantees that the government will make no laws abridging freedom of speech. This does not hold for Faceyspaces, Twitter, Google, Instagram, and any other crap you sign into and whine publicly, while looking at cat gifs.

While people would prefer freedom of speech extend to private entities, it doesn't, and that's reality. It's a shame people with resources and reach are not aware of this. This includes James Woods - a man with a documented spectacular IQ and observed wit.

Two days ago, James Woods, a very outspoken conservative, had his Twitter account suspended for retweeting a gif. He was told if he removed it, his account would be reinstated. An unidentified high-level Twitter person stated they were protective of the Democratic Party and were unhappy about Woods' retweet. It's been supposed then admitted that Twitter has an extreme left bias. This is their right, whether people like it or not. Honestly, it pisses me off, because I think all sides should be heard. The left is cheering because people who disagree with them are being silenced, while they should be upset that anyone is being booted for speaking their mind. It might be their own people next time. If Twitter's policies continue, it will simply become a left paradise. Again, this is their right.

There are some really tricky and vague legal machinations that can be used to curb this behavior, including the ability to prosecute based upon Twitter's initial claim of free speech. There are also some net neutrality laws that may apply.

The libertarian stance isn't that hard to figure out: our mantra is "Leave me alone." Another is "let the market decide". Along those lines, there is GAB, whose motto is #SpeakFreely. Every viewpoint is welcome. Unfortunately this includes speech with which we disagree: antisemites, holocaust deniers, and nazis. Currently it's pretty right wing, with a smattering of libertarians. The left is welcome, and there are a few. You are free to mute anything you don't like, as on Twitter. Unlike Twitter and the others, there is no censorship.  Oddly enough, the only censorship demands are coming from providers, Google, Amazon, and Paypal. Their domain hosting and servers have been threatened multiple times because entities don't like what a member said. This smells of collusion, but is pretty far from my area of knowledge.

Somebody Call the SPCA

In the most recent weather horror, people were leaving their pets home while they escaped, in North Carolina. Why is this ok?  Leave the kids tethered in the back yard and take the pets. It will certainly be a more pleasant experience.



Browser Settings
if you don't use a browser, please ignore this.

Reminder to spend a few moments configuring any browser you install on your computer, tablet, or phone. I keep several browsers installed for different purposes: one locked down, one wide open, one encrypted, and the one everybody has but doesn't admit it (for the thing that everyone does but doesn't admit it).

The default browser settings are an absolute nightmare. I know, I know.. you have nothing to hide and you don't care. I do.  Yesterday I installed Opera. I'm a bit leery about this, as it's owned by a Chinese company, so it's probably going to be uninstalled. Every other setting needed to be changed. It's the worst I've seen yet. 

Stop the saving passwords first. This means anybody who is using your phone or computer or tablet has your permission to log into anything you do. Also stop offering to save logins or actually saving logins. This is about security. 

Don't use a prediction service: this is the same as going to Google or somewhere else. Don't use Do Not Track: nobody honors it and it allows sites to know you exist for tracking. Protect from malicious sites also goes out and gets a list. I'd also uncheck anything about sending data to the browser's company. 

Other protection - Extensions: help yourself out a lot by installing some extensions. Start with an ad blocker. I like uBlock Origin. Opera has a native ad blocker I'm checking out. History Eraser gets rid of everything when you close the browser. HTTPS Everywhere makes every place you visit secure, if possible. Do not accept Google as your default search engine: use Duckduckgo or something else of your choosing. Google needs no additional information of yours. Install a VPN if you like. This makes it insanely difficult to track your location (but still allows fingerprinting of your browser). Kill any personal news or recommendations on your home page: more profiling. Put your own bookmarks there if you want. 

NoScript is my favorite extension. It turns off javascript. This might break websites, but I only let javascript run where I'm sure it won't try to damage my browser. It saves the settings on a per-site basis. Another favorite is Cookie Monster, or similar, which does the same thing for cookies. It's a sport and privacy matter with me.. your mileage may vary.

Save yourself some space and allow searches in the URL spot. This gets rid of the separate search blob. A great time and effort saver is mouse gestures and rocker gestures (having nothing to do with your choice in music). It's very handy to have a shortcut to go back or forward a page with just your mouse. You don't need to set up users/profiles unless someone else uses the browser and wants it set up differently. 

• there is a new UK movement called Go Sober for October. It took an entire week to film the commercial because the actors kept breaking out in laughter.

I am so tired of the endless calls for diversity in the tech industry.
What we need is diversity of thought, not of gender. It's not the industry's job to 'teach' society anything. It's their job to get the best and brightest, regardless of anything but ability. If employees are chosen on the basis of race, gender, or size of their nostrils, it is sexism, racism, and nostrilism. Hire for brains, not breasts. Or other stupid slogans.

• A security professional noticed an access point on the corporate network that didn't belong there. She tracked it down to a water heater that had a wireless access point on it. Because water heaters need wireless access points in order to heat water. Smart = Stupid. Stupid = Smart.

"People are almost universally recognised as being the weak link in the cyber defence" 

You're kidding me!
Companies who care about security spend a lot of time and money securing and monitoring their systems. It only takes one well-educated employee to click on a phishing link and POW, the network is infected.

• The US Government Payment Service just exposed 14 million records. This is the government: the people who are going to keep us 'safe' and issue standards for cybersecurity. Eat your own dog food, boys.

ThermionicEmissions Detective Agency
Help solve this Important Security Matter...
I will provide the facts and you make a deduction.

There was a security analysis of cyber-attacks against universities and colleges in the UK

• attacks increased from 8 or 9am and then tailed off in the early afternoon
• There was a very sharp decline in attacks in the Christmas, Easter and summer breaks and during half-terms - with attacks rising again sharply when terms resumed.

Take a guess.....

• Have you ever had this happen to you?  You're minding your own business, walking into the bathroom, when you trip over the hedge clipper?

My parents have adjusted to cell phones better than I thought. Dad even manages to text. Mom manages to text, but she doesn't understand there's a limit on characters. She fires up SiriGoogleFrank and dictates texts, so they total about three or four on average. Their limits on text knowledge showed today, when Wife replied to a group text. She immediately got a call from Dad, who didn't understand what she said. She explained group texts but he wouldn't understand. He said she had to come over This Instant to explain it... Mom's all upset.

My parents really need a hobby. One that isn't us.

• Here's a bit of self-knowledge I recently discovered: after being exposed to people, I need a few weeks to recharge before I see people again.
• Whether this is a consequence of voluntary agoraphobia or the cause of it, I don't care.

In case you were considering it, you are not allowed to bribe your spouse's doctor to tell them that frequent sex will make them feel better. This is because of some nonsense called professional ethics. Or so I hear...

I just got this app for my phone where you put in your zip code and it lists items for sale in a radius around you. I don't get excited about new apps unless it's revolutionary or sends supermodels to my house, and that has never come along. This one, however, was interesting.. I searched for 'left handed' (strange, I know). What I got was pages of left handed golf clubs, a left handed bow (there's a left handed bow?), two left handed baseball gloves (one of which was right handed), a bunch of left handed guitars (one of which was right handed), and the piece duh resistance... it's almost like the app was written just for me... a breast pump.

I'm not going to tell Wife about this... no, not because of the breast pump; because of the Shoe category. In Electronics, I located a hair dryer, all sorts of things with apples on them, a black and red and black metal tool, a black and red digital device, air hoses, a computer set, and a Toshiba 4gig screen (laptop). Any ancient dusty speakers in your basement are 'vintage'.

The pictures were all taken by the same drunk child. Some people were far away, most were in the dark, one lady was selling rings who had HUGE hands, so the rings were dwarfed, only the backs of phones, and a flat screen tv side shot.

SJW Linux

I saw something on Twitter last night which gave me the douche chills. It looks like the Social Justice Warriors are trying to infiltrate linux. After further research (I read the next tweet), it appears that Linus (Torvalds, Mr. Linux), the hard talking, hard cursing, hard time king of linux, is getting tired of the demands of SJWs. He apologized for his hard time style, his angry antics, and for not having a more pronounceable name.

After getting over the initial shock, additional research (the next tweet in line) showed that Linus has gotten a lot of crap from SJWs, including in-person threats. With his careful verbiage, I think he either got sued, or is trying for a new job.

With that out of the way, I introduce SJW Linux, the new distribution created by force, intentionally made for the underrepresented victims of The Patriarchy. What is The Patriarchy, you ask? It's anyone who doesn't agree with the SJWs, conveniently, including women (except any non-CIS hetero women or women who identify as oppressed minority victims of The Patriarchy). Or men who think they're going to get some if they act like they have no genitals. Just kidding - all men are disposable. And anyone who has taken a look at the SJWs could not be forgiven for wanted some from them. Unless you like grossly overweight women with green hair who think everybody wants them.

This particular blog entry may fall short for the average Windows user, but I'll try. My linux user will really enjoy it.

Without further stuff like the above, I give you SJW Linux....

• The command kill will only be valid if followed by Trump or White Privilege, CIS, male, or patriarchy, 
• The command man will be deleted completely, unless used as kill man.
• cd, (change directory) now means crossdresser. No one knows what this command will do, but only members of The Patriarchy question SJWs.
• chown, (change owner) now refers to giving all permissions to The Matriarchy, which is owed reparations for poor treatment by those with White Privilege.
• date, (set date) is now any non-binary outing of the oppressed.
• less, (view file contents) is now representative of what SJWs have traditionally gotten from The Patriarchy, which entitles them to whatever they want.
• locate, (locate) finds the current reason they are owed something by some oppressive group.
• ls, (list directory contents) lists a random tweet to respond to anyone who says anything disagreed with by someone who identifies as at least 41 of the genders.
• rm, (delete) see kill man.
• who, (who is logged on) now lists who is oppressing us today.
• top, (system resources) is also dead because every SJW is equal (although white males, and people who identify as white males, are not).
• ssh, (log into a different machine) is now 'shush and don't disagree with me.
• touch, (create a file) what CIS heteros will never do to me.
• awk, (find and replace text) changes all instances of man to woman.
• bash, (a shell) deletes any text that disagrees with our mission (mission to be determined).
• echo, (display on screen) hooks up between 2 + 100,000 computers of any genders who all agree with the mission (mission to be determined). Always created online.
• false, (do nothing) anything typed by CIS white males, to be deleted
• jobs, (list active jobs) useful work done by the computer, as opposed to the user
• shutdown, (shut down) goes online, creating a lot of noise, stops any discussion with which we disagree.

You can download this distribution at any site that treats all people equal (except CIS Hetero Males and all members of The Patriarchy, who oppress everybody). Although all linux distributions are free, this one will collect a mandatory donation of $25 and distribute it to worthy organizations which fight all forms of White Privilege.

You Suffer for My Art

If you have an iDevice, you can install Whiplr, which describes itself as "Messenger with kinks," or messenger for people with less than mainstream sexual practices. They ask for your password in unencrypted email. Oops. Just to make their users feel better, Whiplr stores all this information in plain text, for any hacker or employee who cares to have a peek. So unless you want those pictures of you in the rubber outfit with the gas mask and the miniature horse to become public, you should delete your account and messenge somewhere else.

• I have no idea how this was determined, but 1 in 5 employees share their email passwords with coworkers. Don't do this. Ever. Ask your IT department for another way to do whatever you're trying to do.

The National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine have honored me by agreeing with my point that the US needs to go back to paper ballots. It took long enough, but we're finally in agreement.

• My good friends at Microsoft has decided they will offer support for Windows 7 for another three years, to help slow-moving corporations downgrade to Windows 10. And it's going to cost. For some unknown reason, my IP address has been blacklisted.

I just saw a show that introduced Randy Cramer, who claims he was recruited for a US Secret Space Program. If nothing else, this is interesting short science fiction, especially the depiction of our presence on Mars. I make no claims other than it's fun reading.

• Smart Outlets, no, really. One specific brand has a fault that will allow hackers to assume control of it and sneak into your network. Smart is Dumb.
• Artificial Intelligence will officially be here when your smart stove communicates with your smart microwave and both go on strike for higher voltage.

The times, they are a-changing. We live in the future! 

Someone just invented a Bluetooth salt shaker (although no one knows why). It 'enhances' your dining experience. Sorry, I just eat.. I don't have experiences. What could a Bluetooth salt shaker (the Smalt) do?  Play music from your phone, a color changing ring of lights, and.... get ready... it contains actual salt! Yes, we live in the future. If only the people who marveled at the tv wristwatch were alive to see this.

• The Planet of California, rapidly taking over for France in the World Derision Sweepstakes, has introduced the first legislation on connected devices. Although weak, it is the first of its kind in the US. It mandates information security and eliminates default passwords.
• Congress has proposed two bills on IoT devices, both designed to put together studies on devices. Yes, we're going to make everything safe for you, by putting together a select panel of people, who have absolutely no clue about the internet or IoT, to study the matter. Rapid Response, courtesy of your elected representatives (of the War State).

The European Court of Human Rights ruled that bulk interception of communications data and the obtaining of data from comms service providers violated Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights: the right to respect for private and family life/communications.

This is wonderful support for rights.
Meanwhile, the GCHQ and NSA are laughing so hard, there are tears in their eyes. I received confirmed information that at least two of them peed in their pants. Please do not repeat this.

• It's not often I find myself on Apple's side, but they have been harshly criticized for designing iPhones too big for women's hands. Campaigners were 'furious' over Apple discontinuing the SE; the smallest phone. 
• The average woman's hand is an inch narrower than an average man's hand. The campaigners have a lawsuit pending against God, claiming sexism, but as of this point, they have been unable to locate the defendant to serve the summons.
• The campaigners are fighting a war on several fronts, also with Women of Size, who are ok with the new phones; and Women of Sense, who think women are absolutely equal in every way and oppose special accommodations.

6G, the phone protocol so new, people don't even speak its name, will provide terabits per second speeds. Meanwhile, we wait for 5G, which promises faster speeds, but runs at the same shitty 4G and 3G speeds, depending upon which foot you're standing on with the most pressure.

• You know me - equality. So there's this washing machine detergent commercial featuring the dad talking about how dirty his daughter's princess dress gets and how he washes it. I don't really care that stay at home dads are represented.. I just can't help but think of all sorts of names for this guy, none of which you can say on tv.

Not An Original Thought Left in Hollywood, Part 453

There is a remake of Overboard, the Goldie Hawn-Kurt Russell movie, where she develops amnesia and he hoodwinks her into being a mom and wife. The world was crying out for a remake and Hollywood delivered! The new movie, cleverly called Overboard, features a man with amnesia this time (see - they're original) and blonde Anna Faris as the hoodwinker. Can't we stop this before we're up to third generation remakes?

Men are demanding parity, seeking a remake of The Sound of Music, with a man in the role of Julie Andrews.

Grocery Shopping

I used to joke about things being personal, like rain. Most of it stopped, but it looks like the grocery store never got the memo. Last week, nothing I put on the list was available or reachable: bagels, fresh cookies, Bit O'Plague, bullets...

Wife just returned from the store. Did you know you can't purchase yogurt with fat? Everything's low fat, low sugar, low taste, low actual yogurt. My fresh chocolate chip cookies were the only container left, buried under 400 pumpkin spice containers. Later this week, CostCo is having a sale on pumpkin spice tires.  They stopped carrying my coffee creamer entirely. WTF is salted caramel? Whose brilliant idea was it to salt caramel? Isn't salt bad for you? Let's add anthrax to chocolate, shall we? Do they not understand how sacred our coffee is? Maybe blueberry cream is delicious - I don't care and I'm not letting it get within 3 miles of my coffee cup.

There Are Many People in the World. You Are Definitely One.

I'm a sucker for those airport security shows, where they track people coming in, looking for illegal this or that. They also check that people coming in have the proper visa. One guy, who was a little boisterous, claimed he was coming to visit, but the staff wanted to investigate further. Because the guy was waving at the cameras and joking with the staff, they called in a doctor to advise if the guy was sane. He passed his test.

What really bothers me is that they thought the guy was mentally questionable for acting like me. There is abundant evidence backing up my voluntary agoraphobia.

• September is National Preparedness Month. So don't do anything rash.

Today is Importance of Punctuation Day (I made that up). When sending email and typing, it is important to use proper punctuation. "Whoopi Goldberg & Jewel's Holiday Tour" was the email subject. Is this two separate shows or one? Depending on the answer, things could go from bad to worse.

• Perhaps there is hope after all... according to a poll, 44% of Americans 18-27 have deleted the Faceyspaces app this year.
• If you must use Faceyspaces, do it from a browser. The phone app has access to all your data, location, and sexual preference.

It's a bad day to be Trend Micro (or a user of their products)... their Mac OS X apps were removed from the Apple store after they were discovered sending out private information.  If I owned a Trend product on any platform, I'd get rid of it immediately and demand a refund.

• And while we're talking about Macs, the number one paid utility in the Mac App Store steals browser history and sends it to a Chinese server. The server is currently offline, but that means little. People who use apps shouldn't be expected to perform packet captures to determine if the app is safe.

Ever use Skype? They inject white noise, on purpose, into both sides of each call, so callers know they're still connected.  Skype's owner, Microsoft, injects backdoors in Windows, to let people know they're still using Windows, and remind them that backups can be retrieved from the NSA.

• The current spam bomb utilizes "Unsubscribe" as a subject and concept. Your mailbox and spam folder will be full of this nonsense. Delete every message and don't reply. If you are unsure, follow my mantra: Just Say No. You can also hover over the underlined link, where you'll notice the address is different than claimed. Also, the FROM name and possibly SUBJECT will be missing information or incorrect.
• A small piece of information FYI: if you don't use HTML email, the entire message will be in text, and the fake address link will be right there in front of you. You can try checking the source, from a menu, or switching to plain text. Thunderbird has a plugin that will let you switch reading modes. Most have the option in one of the menus.

As usual, I'm minding my own business at work, when I get a request for a short job at another location. I enjoy going to other locations about as much as I enjoy stitching up large gashes in my own skin, but it is technically my job. And when I say technically, I mean a trained goldfish can complete the job from inside its watery abode. Why, you ask, does a company deploy an expensive asset for a job that anybody in the facility can perform? They have whole teams that do nothing but work on this equipment.

Ahhhh... now I get it. It's only been a few years and I catch on very slowly.

The part to install had arrived the day before, addressed to Stanley. Stanley's away, due to Mrs. Stanley, which we won't discuss, except to say it had nothing to do with the hand mixer or the zebra. The main office spent hours trying to locate the part. Why? Because it was addressed to Stanley and not anyone who could do anything about it. After several hours of contacting Spock and the Away Team, they had finally secured the part. So they emailed the teams that do this work. I discovered there's a subtle art of job-shifting... they did not respond to the emails. Since they did not respond, it became my job. When I see these people, they tell me it's stupid for me to come all this way and why not let them do it. Very clever, but I'm onto your game! 

They sent me explicit step-by-step directions on how to replace the broken part. It was about 25 pages long. Nothing I haven't done before, just not on this model. After skimming the 25 pages, I translated them from "The lawyers said to word it this way" to "pull the bad part out and plug the good one in". No problem - this I can handle.  

Oops... did I mention my key card?

I got it a few months back and it wouldn't open anything. I let the nice people in the Key Department know and they said they'd get their Best People on it. So naturally it continued to not work. Yes, it's funny in a stereotypical way, but it's somewhat less funny when you have to stand near a door and wait for someone with a working key card to come by. Ironically, the trip to the Key Department was delayed as I waited five minutes for somebody with a functioning key card to come by. The gentleman I talked to is the same gentleman who was going to 'get right on it' and absolutely did not 'get right on it.' He sent an email and told me it would take a while. Dear Sir... I am here for an important job. If I can't get to my own department, your network may fail. Fortunately I knew where his request was sent, so off I went, only stalled by trying to get through two doors my key card wouldn't open. The Main Key Card Guy took one look and said it was deactivated. Well, as far as I know, I'm not deactivated. Still getting paychecks. Hmmmm... he clicks one box and everything works. See how hard that was?

Speaking of working, I hunted down the errant piece of equipment and took the bad part out, plugging the good part in. It fit perfectly, except the front plate, which wasn't even in the ballpark. I took a picture and sent it to the people who operate the equipment, who where thrilled at my ingenuity, and told me this was in no way the right part. I'll say it wasn't the right part: the damn manual had a picture of the box that was wrong. They thanked me profusely and said they'd ship out the correct part for the next day.

Halleleujah! I could ride out to the remote office again to install a Goldfish Part. I cannot describe the thrill that went through my body.

We got a tracking number and everything!

First thing in the morning they're emailing me that the part's in and how quickly can I install it. Oops again - the part is in my state, but not at the facility. Gee, let's say we wait before I make the drive, ok? Within two minutes I got an email from UPS, saying expected delivery date was tomorrow. How is it the people who shipped the part don't know how they shipped the part? Oh yeah, they need it to be working for a Serious Meeting in the afternoon. I pointed the delivery day out and all of their incessant email chatter stopped. Hey, I like this. I get some of my best work done at my own desk.

The return authorization person specified the wrong carrier and complained when our zip code had more than five digits. What country are we in again?

If this were any more twisted, I'd check to see if I was working for the government.

Yet Another 9-11

Here we are, at another anniversary of one of the nation's greatest disasters.

Where is the anger? Where is the protest? Where is the disgust?
All we have is precisely what was planned: sadness and belief in the official story.

Don't get me wrong... 3,000 people murdered is a very sad event. And when I say murdered, I mean it. They died as a direct action. It was set up this way by people to whom 3,000 lives is acceptable damage.


Let's review, shall we?

• One of the more egregious lies of the day: Christie Whitman, head of the Environmental Protection Agency, visited the site with President Bush. She told first responders that the air was perfectly safe to breathe. As a result, first responders are dying of lung cancer.
• Washington, DC, is one of the most heavily surveilled areas in the country. How is it that we only have four frames of video of something hitting the Pentagon? Because all video from surrounding areas was confiscated by the FBI and only four frames were released. Because a fifth frame would show us what hit the Pentagon. I can't tell you what it was, but it wasn't a plane. My guess is a drone.
• The hole in the Pentagon couldn't have been made by a plane. A plane would've been much larger and wider.
• Right after something hit the Pentagon, a bunch of workers carried a very large covered container away from the site.
• In Shanksville, Pennsylvania, Flight 93 allegedly crashed. Ask anybody in the airline industry: when a plane crashes, you can tell how it came in by the debris field. This debris field contained little bits of possible airplane, in a field that wasn't normal, plus there were no large bits, which always exist in a crash, like engines.
• Dick Cheney, in a fortified room under the White House, was repeatedly kept up to date on a plane that was incoming. When the serviceman told him it was just miles away and asked if anything should be done, Cheney barked at him, something to the effect of "Have I changed my orders?" This was heard directly by Transportation Secretary Maneta.
• It took forever to get Air Force planes to the scene, due to an exercise. Convenient exercises have occurred during many disasters. There was also a question of the closest base from which to deploy planes.
• A plane was approaching the airspace of the White House. No plane is permitted to fly over the White House, period. It would be warned and shot down if there was no response.
• The hijackers were flying school dropouts who couldn't fly a single engine plane, no less a huge passenger plane. Transponders were switched off.
• The hijackers took control of the plane with box cutters. No one was able to regain control. 
• Jumbo passenger jets are incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to fly close to the ground, as was necessary to hit the Pentagon.
• The airplanes were in pieces, yet the identification card of a hijacker was conveniently found.
• Almost immediately, the name  started circulating as the perpetrator. This is exactly what happened after JFK was assassinated: Lee Harvey Oswald was immediately named as the shooter. Because it was planted and fed to the press. Colonel Fletcher Prouty, as played by Donald Sutherland in JFK, said information is ready before the incident and conveniently distributed to the willing press, which didn't question a thing.
• The BBC announced Building Seven fell over thirty minutes before it fell.
• Building Seven was not hit, yet collapsed in its own footprint
• The buildings were built to withstand airplane hits.
• The metal beams were liquefied and continued to be red hot for days. This was shown by views and comments from the International Space Station.
• There were boxes and boxes of explosives stacked up in one area.
• The buildings were closed for an entire week right before the 11th, during which contractors were in and out of the building.
• There was thermate, a very powerful explosive/cutter in the molten beams.
• The debris was sent offshore almost immediately.
• The insurance coverage on the buildings was just raised. Subsequently there was a suit to get paid for both buildings, which was ruled to be valid.
• Some officials in government had dual citizenship (US-Israel).
• The 'Dancing Isrealis' were caught celebrating. Tracing them to Israel, they were discovered to be working for one of their governmental agencies.
• One of the major newscasters said it looked like controlled demolition. He never said that again in subsequent reports.
• Entire companies were told not to go into work that day.
• The 'investigation' was a farce, again like after JFK. Important information was ignored. Members admitted it should be done again.

Who Benefits/Follow the Money.

These are the important questions to ask if you want to get to the truth.

• We went to war almost immediately. The Military Industrial Complex benefited greatly. New manufacturing, new profits, new contracts.
• Who got contracts? Firms like Halliburton, which had Dick Cheney on the board. Other firms that charged ridiculous amounts of money for fuel and supplies, some which never arrived.
• Relatives of politicians had large companies that got large contracts.
• Government expanded wildly, with the Department of Homeland Security.
• Contracts for metal and chemical detectors were drafted. The first round were useless, setting up a second contract to replace them.
• There were many mysterious stock 'bets' that something would happen. Someone made a lot of money.
• Some company had to rebuild the towers.

And Now, the Detritus/Fallout/Ridiculousness/Good Citizens

• With the new agencies and equipment came rights restrictions and ridiculous regulations.
• The newer machines were able to see genitalia, but they promised they'd not look at it outside the viewing stations. Yet the pictures leaked and the viewers had many laughs at our expense.
• The TSA employees at the stations were largely recruited from previous employees at the airlines, which couldn't tell explosives from elephants.
• You can't take more than three ounces of liquid on a plane.
• People didn't even mind standing in ridiculous lines and removing their shoes.
• Everything got x-rayed
• You are no longer allowed to lock your luggage: the lock must be TSA-approved, meaning employees can open it with their master key.

None of this information is hidden; it's all in the public domain. Yet we swallowed it whole, believing everything we were told. President Bush said not to believe 'conspiracy theories' and once again mocked honest research. Conspiracy Theory is a term invented by the CIA, specifically to discredit people and groups. You might be amazed at how many conspiracy theories turn out to be true. Shall we talk about the NSA eavesdropping on phone conversations and emails?

Go ahead, call me a fringe conspiracy nut. I've been called much worse.
But don't call me anything until you have researched the above for yourself. There are a lot of questions that need answers. Why are there so many, if the official story has no holes in it? These are just the ones off the top of my head. Look at it dispassionately and do the research.



Our hearts are with the 3,000 who lost their lives, as well as their families and friends. The countless lives lost in the war, American and foreign. Help this stupid country come to its senses and think critically, including the press (a lost cause).

The Pizza Has Developed Ants

What's the best thing to say to a very mad, agitated person?
Calm down.
It's the best thing because it will piss the person off more, providing additional entertainment for you.

• Today's best police call: Car vs House
• Todays worst tv utterance: This olympic sprinter is taking it all in stride
• One can purchase vegan shampoo. Hopefully it's caffeine and gluten free
• When is life officially over? When you've been told you're no longer welcome at Walmart.

Perhaps it's better that Wife and I are not in the same room (or house) in the morning. So far I've been interrupted six times with Various Important Stories from whatever morning show is giving her ideas.

If you want to protect your kids from being tagged Nerd, you better get ready for Inside Out Pants. Yes, pants that look like they're inside out. Buy seven at only $1,100 per pair! Think of it as an investment in your kids' mental health and self-esteem.

The mascot for the Trenton Thunder, some sort of sports team, is a pork roll. Although that might be a plus for some locals, it proves we're beyond embarrassment. Why not the Trenton Scrapple? Probably because there's already a scrapple team in Philly.

The Good Neighbor, who Marshall trained to feed him on command, picked Tuesday to hose down the outside. Spritz. Spritz. Only she doesn't leave the hose on... no.... Spritz. Spritz. Spritz.

Hey, I should try to fix this.. Spritz. Spritz. Spritz.
Laptop..Spritz. Spritz. Spritz. Tonight..Spritz. Spritz. Spritz. Spritz.
You know what would be gr... Spritz. Spritz. Spritz. A malt! Spritz. Spritz.
She's a really nice neigh..Spritz. Spritz. Spritz.
Ever see a garden hose enema? Spritz. Spritz. Spriiiiiiitz. Spritz.

• Our good friends at PETA, because they haven't gotten much press lately, have demanded that Aretha Franklin's (RIP) family donate her furs to Charity. 
• I'm in Deep DooDoo because one of my readers is a member. As an animal lover, I agree with some of their platform, but they are a bit silly sometimes. I miss Act Up, the AIDS group, which would pull very silly public stunts, like carrying coffins and throwing condoms. Those people were creative.
• PETA got caught euthanizing dogs a while back, so their authority is somewhat questionable. Ultimately, my commitment to free speech overrules anything else.
• I am informed that the demanded furs are to make PETA's rescues comfortable. I love comfortable animals, but this strikes me as somewhat hypocritical.
• Perhaps ThermionicEmissions needs to start publicly demanding things... I demand Hollywood actors and actresses do unpaid internships at Second Amendment organizations. I demand the executives of major social media sites (FB, Twitter, Google) do unpaid internships at First Amendment organizations. I demand that the president take creative writing and when to shut up courses. I demand that Steven Segal donate his 1954 left-handed Stratocaster to ThermionicEmissions and $500,000 to left-handed charities. If he can't find any left-handed charities, start one.

Q.  How do you have the Best Sex Ever with Hollywood actresses?

1. get naked
2. get on top and start the fun
3. whisper in her ear, "I just made a donation in your name to the NRA."
4. hold on for dear life.

Really bad broadcast television is showing up all over the place. You know - the channels way up in the UHF band. They run all sorts of ancient shows, probably because copyright has expired or some other ridiculous reason. Today's treat was Adam 12, where you can hear phrases like "Don't give me that jive" and "what about the fuzz". I heard a familiar voice and looked up - Mickey Dolenz (The Monkees), as "Oiler", per the credits. After that, it's Emergency (KMG365 is their call sign). Some classic Bad TV. Who would have imagined that their large box radio used to call the hospital would turn into a small thing that everybody carries, with all the answers?

• Know what's telling and depressing? When watching COPS, I might find the police arresting a really cute female. Within seconds, I find out they're being arrested for meth or something. Yeah, I like them skinny. And drug-dependent, apparently.
• I also notice that most of the people pulled over have much nicer cars than me. They're not employed and I have a good job. I still love my Hyundai, and will buy another one when the time comes.

I just saw my second commercial for Born Like this. Still no idea why people watch it. The commercial was about two people in the show getting married. It is absolutely adorable when my dogs occasionally had their tongue hanging out the side of their mouth. After seeing the bride's face, I'd prefer my wife not do that. And that's all I have to say about that.

• Today I got email letting me know ukulele kits are 50% off. Of course they're 50% off - it's rude to play ukulele or speak French in public.

Google (Do Evil), due to a flaw in their Chrome browser, can associate your incognito data to your other identified data. Of course Google claims they don't do this, and they'd have no reason to lie (see FB).  This also includes android data from Chrome on your phone. All of this comes courtesy of one of their ad partners. I'm pretty sure the stock android browser is built on Chrome.

I don't want to point out an issue without offering a solution. 
The obvious: Don't have anything to do with Google. This includes Google the search engine (use duckduckgo.com). You can de-Google your android phone, but it's beyond the scope of this missive (take your email address off the phone and use an alternate store like apkmirror.com or aptoide.com). Don't use gmail because it's read and because it's Google. Install a good ad blocker, which will go quite a bit toward keeping your information private. If you can root your phone, you'll get the best protection (do a search on rooting unless your carrier is Verizon, which won't be rooted). Don't use Chrome browser or the stock android browser. Use Firefox, Waterfox, and others, on your desktop too. Also make sure the browser isn't based on Chrome.

You'll get a lot of information by doing a search. You can also ask here.

The Mailbox

I was ahead of the curve when I was very little. Tools were acquired and I liked to play with stuff. I took vacuums apart and somehow managed to get them back together. This is extremely odd and ironic, as I want nothing to do with them today. 

Now that I'm a homeowner, these skills come in handy.

Actually these skills would come in handy.

But they don't actually come in handy.

I don't know what the hell happened, but I have gone Stupid. I still have my tools, some of which are actually in my toolbox, except for philips screwdrivers, which are like socks, disappearing into the Matrix. I just don't use them.

When I can, I prefer to pay or barter for fixing things.

A few years back, a brother-in-law, who could build a barn out of a piece of wood and two matchsticks, came by and showed me how to install a mailbox. Turned out to be pretty easy, but I had no way of knowing.  Unfortunately the brother-in-law, as well as the mailbox, are gone. Well, almost gone. The mailbox is leaning precariously. Poor mailman.

After way too long of beating me about the head, my wife 'convinced' me to install the new one. I was worried, as it had been here long enough to rot, like the old one. It actually looked relatively easy (cue ominous music). The first thing was to ignore any sort of concrete and literally put a screw into the ground. When I say screw, I mean a thing slightly larger than a baseball bat, with threads. They gave us a piece of 3/4" thick rebar to twist it into the ground. I got this, I said to myself, which, unfortunately, I said out loud. I began screwing (shut up) and discovered it was failing to screw, even putting all my considerable weight into it. Ok, maybe I hit concrete. I moved left and screwed again, with exactly the same result. IS MY ENTIRE HOUSE BUILT ON IRON or slabs of concrete? I sat down on the steps, with water dripping off me. I couldn't tell if it was sweat or tears. Probably both. I went into the Wayback Machine, when my tools and I could actually complete a task successfully.

One foot over proved to be the key and it screwed in fairly easily, by which I mean halfway.

It was the nastiest part of summer. Ninety degrees with close to ninety percent humidity. Walking down the front steps provided enough sweat to require a shower, no less screwing something into stubborn grass and dirt. Sweat was dripping all over me. Don't forget, I'm a network security guy. The most exercise I get is walking to my computer (and scouring the house for a philips screwdriver). I was a mess. After getting the screw to its estimated height, it was time to attach the baseball bat sized 4x4. This attached with very long screws, for stability. The whole thing was well engineered and very simple for those who aren't simple and can assemble things. I really missed my brother-in-law, moreso. The screws required a socket wrench or box wrench to install, as they were three inches long. I ran to get my handy sockets, which were, for some reason, all together in my toolbox.  I noticed I didn't have a box wrench in that size anyway, so it was the socket set. I was so proud to have the right tool at the right time. I got to screwing and quickly noticed that the wrench itself had a stripped gear, barely catching for long enough to turn the socket. Oops.. in the deepest recesses of my failed memory, there was a wrench that I was going to take to Sears and exchange, because of the lifetime Craftsman warranty. A long time ago. Really long.

I got two screws in far enough for the 4x4 to stand damn near vertically. Since most of the house (and its occupants) stand damn near vertically, it didn't look out of place. All I needed was to finish screwing (shut up, still) and the thing would be done. Since it was wobbly, we put the mailbox part on the step for the time being. Poor mailman. And it was off to Sears for the replacement ratchet. When I say off to Sears, I mean it went on The List. Weeks later, we still haven't made it to Sears, the post continues to lean precariously, and the mailbox has taken up near permanent residence on the step. And Wife keeps telling me we need to finish the mailbox. Like most bosses, 'we' means 'you'.  To be fair, 'we' have had Very Important Issues, preventing us from getting out. I believe her when she tells me this, although I have no real idea what the Very Important Issues are. Since I'm married, I'm happy to take her word for it. Happy Wife, Happy Life.

I was hoping to get out today, provided there were no Very Important Issues preventing us from going. After all, it's the weekend and I was up at the crack of noon. I stumbled down the stairs drunkenly, which was a shame because I don't drink.

I promise to keep everyone updated, should the mailbox become completed, perhaps because the brother-in-law resurrected long enough to complete it. Poor mailman.

It's a Good Thing People Don't Have to Remember to Breathe

Speaking of net neutrality, Verizon throttled Santa Clara County, California, fire company's 'unlimited' data plan. This fire company happened to be fighting the fires out there and had to pay Verizon more money to end the serious throttling, even after explaining about the fires. As this is America, there is a lawsuit.

What have we learned? That cable companies' definition of Unlimited is Somewhat Unlimited.

• This morning's 7am noise was something very loud that required a backup beeper. Wife said it was a neighbor, this time digging up his driveway. I've seen this drive... you could eat off it and use it to calibrate your level.
• I've known the owner since we moved in. He had this child with a frightening look in his eyes. Wife and I looked at each other and agreed that there are many dead animals in his back yard, because that's how psychopaths start. This same child just bought the house from his parents. I'll bet he's trying to unearth his ex-pets. Maybe he's making amends. Maybe he's making dinner.. who knows?

The electric company in Naperville, IL, wants to put electronic 'smart' meters on everybody's service, with no opt-out. Some people in Naperville were very opposed to this, as everyone should be, and filed suit to stop it. At very least, this is a violation of the Fourth Amendment (search and seizure). Additionally, this would allow the electric company to determine electrical usage and a profile of the user. This is why these meters must be opposed. You know this data will be sold.

The judge agreed that this is Search. However, and there's always a however:

.....because the collection of smart meter data allows utilities to reduce costs, provide cheaper power to consumers, encourage energy efficiency and increase grid stability, it is very much in the government’s interest and can be allowed.

Although a Constitution fan, it's possible I could be ignorant of certain legal concepts. If any of you know, please chime in.

The Fourth, as indicated above, guarantees against illegal search and seizure. This means the police require a warrant to enter your house, which had better cover whatever they're looking for. A perfect example of this is drunk driver stops. Although somehow ruled legal, the police have no reasonable suspicion that anyone driving on the road is drunk, yet they stop you. Additionally, if they find money on you and seize it, that is also illegal (although needs to be fought in some states).

Here's where things get shaky: The Amendments, to my knowledge, are solid; not to be balanced against government interest. Here's a hypothetical: your local police department (or SWAT) breaks down your door, without a warrant, looking for guns. They find guns and confiscate them. In court the homeowner's lawyer claims a clear violation of the Fourth Amendment.  Let's face it - he's right. This is a clear cut case. The judge agrees: this is illegal Search and Seizure. However, and there's always a however, the government's interest in removing guns is reasonable and the case is dismissed.

Do you see my problem?
It's your problem too.

• Still have a Faceyspaces account? They want to figure out if you're legitimate or a fake news provider. You will be assigned a rating on how trustworthy you are.
• Since when is it the job of social media to indicate your trustworthiness? By what standards is this judged? Can standards apply? Will the political leanings of the decider affect the answer?

I watch LivePD. I have a strange affection for police shows, aside from the previous rant about the War on Drugs.  There's another show called Nightwatch, which is live ambulance crews in different states. LivePD is very instructive. Today I learned that it's perfectly ok to wear a bra and shorts, but only if you're female and have a humongous gut that hangs over your waist or sticks straight out, like a beer gut. These grown women are on national tv looking like this.

The criminals are a lot different than years back. They stand there and argue with the police, then get righteously indignant when the police want to pat them down. Don't forget that everybody's a lawyer. When the guy in his house fires a gun and the police taze him and carry him away, he's screaming the entire time that they didn't have a warrant to enter his house. This guy screamed at the top of his lungs for about 15 minutes. The producer of the show, who apparently hates his audience, kept the cameras rolling the entire time. I have to give the police credit for not tazing a large percentage of people they meet. This is precisely why I'm not allowed to have a taser.

I also found out that everybody is related, cops and criminals. Everybody calls everybody else 'bro'. Ok, mostly the men. Some lady called the police because somebody parked in her spot and is disrespecting her. It's a great thing it's not illegal to be an asshole: we'd have to triple the number of police on the streets.

Here's one tip: you can get out of a strip search if you defecate all over yourself.

• I was minding my business when I got a picture in text. It's my best friend, standing next to Jeff Lynne, of ELO.  People around me live very exciting lives. I make shit up and put it on a blog.
• I take that back: a couple of porn stars follow me on Twitter. [@leftystrat]

Today was another one of those days.

You know them.... the days where something doesn't go right, then nothing else goes right. It's kinda like a dark slapstick comedy that rolls downhill like a snowball, smashing at house at the bottom.

We're watching tv. Wife decides to go up for a nap. I decide to stretch out on the sofa for my own nap. Just as I drift off, Wife comes down the steps. We watch 10 minutes of tv and Wife goes up for another nap. I dare not try again because she'll be down again. Watching her nap is like watching a tennis ball. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up Down. The joke is always on me because she doesn't sleep.

I need breakfast, because it's getting close to 2pm. In the kitchen is leftover pizza, which I can't wait to eat. Oops, the ants have won this battle. You do NOT screw with a man's pizza, especially this pizza. I killed each one of them individually, using different methods. The real problem here is how to discourage other ants from trying this sort of thing. The Mongols would cut off their enemies' heads and put them on posts at the city limits, as a warning to anyone else who would try it. Have you ever tried to cut off 100 ants' heads? And put them on posts, as a warning to any other ants who might try it? Maybe if I staple them to the pizza box.

I go back to the couch and immediately kick something very heavy, creating pain in my foot worse than the pain developing in my head. Why was it in the way? Because we moved it. No matter where we move something, one of us will kick it or trip over it. If we nailed it to the ceiling, we'd find a way to trip over it.

I want a bigass tablet, but they're prohibitively expensive. I have my old first generation large tablet, which I retrieved. Annnnd there's no charging cable. This was back when every company used their own cables. I saw this cable within the last 2 weeks, so naturally I couldn't find it. I looked where I put all the cables I find. Nope. It was difficult to see because my house has no natural light. It's so bright you'll burn out your eyes if you go outside, but most of my house is black. The house was designed by someone with one of those diseases where they can't get sun or they'll develop herpes or something. As a consequence, the windows were placed so the sun won't shine in the house unless it rises in the north and sets in the south. We used to have this really cool halogen lamp that lit up the entire floor. They were made illegal because they fell over and started fires. I'm perfectly willing to take that chance, but nooooo. You can't buy a 200w bulb anymore, so unless I want to have 12 lamps in my living room, I'm screwed. So Wife gives me one of her 427 flashlights; the only one she can find. As soon as I point it where I need to look, it flickers. Of course it flickers, it's a super bright LED flashlight. Technology has definitely improved our lives.. the bulbs can flicker much longer these days.

Turning around, I tripped over my shoes.

I took a pause to reflect and for inspiration, at which point a large Styrofoam package fell on my head. I'm doing well - I haven't killed anyone in a long time. I switch on the small halogen light, which is very efficient. It gets so hot, it could cook the (ant-covered) pizza in the kitchen. It smells because dust lands on it. Well, dust plus the shade I made out of the skulls of my enemies. Giving up, I decide to heat something in the oven. On the way to the kitchen, I kicked something...

What is today's lesson? 

It's harder to remember your medicine on weekends. 

And make sure that when you put the heads of enemies on posts, the posts are UL approved for use in your city.

• I get more entertainment from ticket companies than some of the acts they promote. Today's was Jason Bonham's Led Zeppelin Evening. Right under that was the music of Michael Jackson vs. Justin Timberlake. 
• I'm going to give Jason Bonham a pass: his father was John Bonham, of Led Zeppelin. When the Zep played the O2 center in England, Jason played drums. So you figure if he played with Led Zeppelin, he might be good. However, and there's always a however, the music of Michael Jackson vs. Justin Timberlake? And you have to pay to watch it? No, this is obviously a leftover April Fools joke. People who aren't Michael Jackson or Justin Timberlake are going to dress up and sing their songs, in some sort of competitive game, and you are expected to fork over money to watch it? What a cruel joke....

Speaking of cruel jokes, RIP Senator John McCain (R-Hell). I am repeatedly reminded not to speak ill of the dead. Repeatedly. So I'll just say that the good senator never met a country that wouldn't look better with bombs falling on it. Lockheed paid tribute to him publicly and immediately regretted it. Because John was a Class A Warmonger, billions went to Lockheed. Of course they regret his passing.

• Next time you're around people (a place I try not to be), try this one out: "That's not your real nose."

I do nothing: I do it often and I do it well

For some reason, known only to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, an email address I don't use has become Spam Central, largely for foreigners trying to give me millions of dollars because of their declining health (and mental capabilities). The address is ONLY used for Google communications for this blog. Even though I was never good at math, I think I got this one.

If I really cared, I'd take them up on their offer and scam them out of their own money, but it's just sooooo much effort to expend when I can't become awake for work, even at my own desk, after 3 cups of coffee (and an undisclosed amount of meth, snorted right there, which everybody thinks is coke).

• If you use Firefox and take advantage of private browsing, you will be happy to know that it's absolutely infested with Google nonsense. I'm recommending that, if you care, you set your options to mimic private browsing, without using the feature (forget everything you did, flush cookies and history, etc). 
• One of the problems is the use of a Google blacklist of bad sites. When you query the list, Google knows where you're going. Outside of private browsing, you can set the service used (which may also keep records - check).

Speaking of delayed gratification, Stanford University for the Terminally Wealthy did a famous study, where children were put in a room and given a marshmallow. They were told they could eat it whenever they wanted, but if they waited til the Study Person returned, they'd get another marshmallow. Forty years later, it was shown that the children who waited experienced better outcomes in life. Also that phrases like 'better outcomes' take about forty years to appear. And if you don't pay researchers on time, studies take a lot longer to reach a conclusion.  [from 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People]

• US police might be in trouble via their bodycams. They turned up hackable, which could put the attacker in control of the camera and video. 
• If the police don't forget to turn the camera on.
• We will not learn.

After several huge media outlets threw Alex Jones off, coincidentally at the same time, it was discovered Twitter didn't. This came as quite a shock to Twitter's Left, which demanded he be silenced for 'hate speech', as well as free speech advocates, who figured he'd be thrown off by now. Reports are that Jones' subscriptions went through the roof after 'disappearing'. Twitter's Left are apoplectic, demanding they Do Something. Twitter is having trouble making a decision, for once. It should be noted that the majority of people thrown off Twitter are Twitter Right, as admitted by Jack, Twitter's Big Cheese<tm>.

Now, let's think on this for a second. As the election heats up, a conspiracy guy, off to the right, gets thrown off most major media/social sites at once. One could theorize he's influential, as so many sites acted at once. And since several sites acted at once, who's giving the orders?

Disclaimers: I do not listen to Jones, but he amuses me. As a libertarian, I believe that these sites have a right to allow or disallow whoever they want. However, this smells orchestrated and deserves investigating.

The effect of these actions is silencing people and cutting off income. Regardless of the person or entity being censored, is it ok with you that major outlets essentially dictate what you can see/hear/read?  Again, this is not about a person so much as silencing in general. Make no mistake - to allow this is a mistake. The left's excuse is 'hate speech'. If these people understood the First Amendment, they'd know that there is no such thing as hate speech. Speech is speech, whether or not you agree with it. This includes the unscrupulous legislators who allow such assaults on freedoms guaranteed to everyone.

• As if it wasn't bad enough that companies are selling literal airbrushes to apply makeup, they are also selling spray-on hair and/or root touchup. 
• dent puller would be helpful, as would body putty.

After watching way too many police shows, covering the US and UK, I've come to the conclusion, after taking way too much time, that police have turned into a multi-billion dollar drug-seeking operation. I think we can all agree that anything showing the officers in a bad light gets scrubbed from video and never shown. This leads to video of police actions that they think are legitimate.

The script is always the same:

• sometimes lame excuse for pulling someone over
• I need to pat you down
• do you mind if we search your vehicle? If you have nothing to hide, why object?
• ooh - drugs!

Some of the excuses are legitimate, like running a light. Some are completely ridiculous, like not using your turn signal for two seconds before changing lanes. Or a bulb out on your plate. I got pulled over for swerving a little as I approached a toll booth. I fully admit swerving, as I was reaching into my pocket for my wallet. We were on our way to a gig and the guy was playing "you don't have anything in the car I need to know about?". Officer, if you want to pull all our equipment out of the car and check it, be my guest. Then we invited him to the show, because we're that way, plus it was a lovely passive aggressive move on my part.

In all of these cases, the police were looking for drugs.

Now think about this. The US and UK (and whatever other countries) have set up a humongous infrastructure for the War on Drugs. The police are a detection unit for this alleged war. They don't even issue a ticket for a moving violation by itself without looking for drugs. Most of the time, they find drugs. One can guess these segments were left in on purpose because it makes great television, and the non-drug pullovers aren't shown because they're not exciting. Or most of the pullovers are for drugs. Take your pick.

The moral aspect of this is hysterical. "No, son, I don't smoke that stuff and you shouldn't either." Yeah, the forty year old policeman hasn't smoked a doobie and gives a stern moral lecture. Just say no to cutting off our money supply for this terrible war we must fight.

And then there are the just plain stupid drivers, who lead the police on a dangerous, high speed chase through two counties because they have an overdue parking ticket. The driver admits this to the cops, as he's being extracted from his upside down vehicle that he crashed on the side of the highway, after the stop sticks were deployed. No doubt they search what's left of the vehicle for drugs.

DISCLAIMER: none of the above applies if the driver is impaired. The police and prosecutors should throw the book at anyone who drives impaired for any reason.

• Ever so slightly disconcerting is watching my cursor move a little bit by itself.

The Continuing Adventures of Space Force

Lieutenant lefty here.

As you may remember, I was selected for The Force by President Trump himself. A year later, we still don't know why.

I have risen in rank rapidly, because of things like getting three r-words into small sentences, seemingly effortlessly. The fact that I can tell the difference between a male and female cable end might also have something to do with it.

Last week our Secret Mission (sssshhhhh.... don't tell anybody) was to check out what King Kong Ill, President for Life of North Korea, was up to when not in the press. What I'm going to tell you is Triple Top Secret, above even Double Tomato Clearance, so you must swear on whatever it is that people swear on, that you will not repeat this information or tell anyone where you read it. When not in the public eye, King Kong Ill has his BFF, Dennis Rod Man, over for one of his Ultra Secret crossdressing parties. The Minister of Panty Propaganda had a little chat with Rod Man, wherein he explained that no matter how Dennis dressed, the most fabulous and prettiest in the party had to always be the Ill, as insiders call him. An outsider called him the Ill once, and they still haven't found his body.

When President Trump met King Kong, he couldn't understand why the Ill had a picture of J. Edgar Hoover, nefarious head of the FBI and famous gay crossdresser, in his private suite. There are still high level discussions among the Cabinet whether it was a full size picture or just another of the Ill's mirrors.

After this amazing discovery, we saw a bunch of various colored and shaped craft of some sort whiz by our ship. Since we're the Space Force, we thought maybe we should take some sort of action. Since we're the Space Force, we had no idea what action to take, so we phoned the White House. Dick Cheney said we saw nothing; it was merely space gas. So we went back to our duties. By the way, if anybody knows what our duties are, could you please send them to me at my secret classified email address?  Thank you.