Tuesday, November 6, 2018

National Breast Awareness Month

Penny got her first(?) whipped cream, which she enjoyed immensely. Marshall inaugurated this, by being in the car when ice drinks were bought for home consumption. He'd put his nose right through the hole in the top and consume the whipped cream (and drink if he could get to it). Penny also went nose-down and managed to get some of the drink too. Thus far, the only thing she doesn't like is actual lemon, which seems universal for pets. She has also discovered that it's best to sit under Mommy, who tends to drop stuff. She now guards the floor from dropped food. She also guards the bed from me getting comfortable.

Hours after typing the above, I got a call from Mrs leftystrat, who's visiting and took her new child with her. As you see in the commercials and real life, she loves to put her head out the window, flaps flying in the breeze. Mrs noted it getting windy, looked over, and saw Penny lowering the window. Twice. She had discovered the button, then discovered it doesn't work when it gets locked. So she flew across the floor to get a view from a different window. Another smart one. Several of us are apparently going to dog training class soon.





  • I love this stuff... an employee at the US Geological Service (USQLK) managed to infect a government network with Russian malware, via visiting porn sites. An investigation turned up 9,000 visits. 
  • 'Legit porn sites' are businesses. They can't afford to have malware.
  • 9,000 visits, not broken down by site. How can a person do their job and visit 9,000 sites? Your tax dollars at work.
  • You'd think government networks would be heavily protected, especially with a block on porn sites. Network security devices can protect against this, regardless of whether it's porn or anything else.
  • Even if the network didn't protect itself, they could probably tell there was an issue by the guy having one arm much larger than the other.
  • 9,000 visits. What kind of rocks require 9,000 visits?



I'll be honest.. I haven't spent much time on cryptocurrency, other than the basics and news. Yes, it's done wonders for some early adopters. Yes, the government hasn't gotten its paws on cryptocurrency yet. But there are downsides, as mentioned in this article. A number of exchanges have been hacked, leaking millions of dollars, if not more. There have also been complete scams, where a hack is claimed, then the owner(s) closes up shop and leaves town. This is why I don't spend much time or money there.

You might be shocked to hear me type this, but if the government DID get its paws on cryptocurrency, as they did with banks, things would have ended very differently.. the exchange owners would cry poverty, prompting the government to bail the poor billionaires out with taxpayer money.



  • After all these years, I finally made it. I have a remote control for my fan. 
  • Sometimes you don't know what you've got til you look back on it.



The very funny, crossdressing comic, Eddie Izzard, just did a commercial for some charity for either starving children or democrats who believe in gun ownership. I get the appeal of a celebrity, but how seriously are you going to take a comic, no less one wearing lipstick?

Speaking of Halloween (and charity), we're in the season. Or at least we were when I typed this. I find the best way to survive Halloween involves candy, booze, and something that fires projectiles. I eat the candy, of course.

Speaking of charity, I saw an appeal from UNICEF, one of the best known groups. Speaking of Halloween (don't you love how I tie this shit together?), a long time ago, there was an effort to collect money for UNICEF, via children going out on Halloween collecting coins instead of candy. Now tell me what children you know who would forego candy for anything at all, no less charity? And even if they did (children are basically good... well.. most of them), then give the money over to charity? This is the fruit of their labor. Actually this is training for growing up and getting a job.

And here we are, in 2018, with UNICEF still in full action, collecting money, except now on tv.  I have had enough jobs to know that if I was still trying to accomplish my single goal after 40 years, I'd not only be fired, but I'd be fired long before 40 years (even in government service). Think about this for a minute.... same charity, same starving children, same parts of the world. Is there possibly some inefficiency? Have they failed to make a dent in the problem? Does their upper manglement receive $2 billion Halloween bonuses? Are they running the countries they're shilling for? Has the IRS checked for vacation homes in sunny climates? Child running? Solid gold utensils and toilets? Lighting spliffs with $100 bills?

Let's give them the benefit of doubt... say they're totally above board, but the countries with the starving children are run by tyrants who intercept aid and distribute it to their friends and paying for concerts by Bono.

Q. How many Bonos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. He stands there with the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Again, after over 40 years, they still haven't fixed the problem, not to mention the starving children having to sit through a Bono concert.

The only other way to deal with this would be the US invading. Unfortunately this won't happen because they have no native drugs (like..say... Afghanistan) or fossil fuels (like.. say.. the Middle East). They don't even have enough weapons to make it worth an extended stay and $4 billion in new bases. How will we feed Halliburton? And BOOM - we're back to UNICEF.



  • Parsnips? They should be illegal. There's no reason any law abiding citizen needs parsnips.


You're probably wondering what the ticket agency has recommended for me this week. If you are, you have great psychic abilities (or are in the mood for a little self abuse). Let's start with KISS. Better yet, let's not.  Ariana Grande, perhaps? No, perhaps. Dan + Shay? Who is Dan + Shay? Gordon Lightfoot! Isn't he dead? No, the Canuckian decided to do a solo tour for the first time in 78 years. If you could read my mind, love... you wouldn't want to. On the positive side, it's at the Hershey Theatre. You can go, avoid the concert, and gorge on chocolate! Hanson String Theory. I know there's a Hanson and a String Theory. There's no way they joined together. It would have caused major disturbances in the time-space continuum. Edie Brickell & New Bohemians. No one has heard from Mrs Paul Simon in decades. You can tell she's serious because there's no 'the' before New Bohemians. New Kids on the Block? This is everything about childhood we hated, coming back to bite us in the groin. Again.

Out of the 15 shows promoted, they managed to get one right, overcoming great odds. Generation Axe, featuring Steve Vai (Zappa, David Lee Roth, Whitesnake, solo), Zakk Wylde (Ozzy, Black Label, solo), Yngwie Malmsteen (God himself), Nuno Bettencourt (Extreme), and Tosin Abasi (Animals as Leaders). I saw them last time and it was Christmas for guitar players. I have a great picture of Zakk playing about 15 feet from me. How many readers divided by how many play guitar.. I will be sending (bear with me a minute) ...approximately zero people to the concert.



  • I just got a new, expensive vintage left handed guitar. I'm stunned.
  • No, wait, what's that other word.... I really want a new, expensive vintage left handed guitar. Sorry.



The Fifth Amendment protects against self-incrimination ("I'll take the Fifth"). Sometimes this merges with the Fourth Amendment (search and seizure). In a recent court case, the owner of an iPhone was ordered to give up the passcode, so the prosecutor could get at the evidence in his phone. This issue has been banging around the courts for a while: giving up your PIN is a violation of the Fifth Amendment. The legal wrangling and technicalities are very interesting (to me) and it might be a good idea to take a look. It never hurts to be up on individual rights.




  • This shouldn't come as too big a surprise, but 90% of free apps on Google Play Store share data with Google parent Alphabet.
  • Nearly 43% share data with Facebook  - this is interesting, given my direct observation that nearly every android app calls FB the moment it comes up.




In the five months since GDPR came into effect, I finally figured out what's going on. Europe, or some of the people living in Europe (I'm easily confused) got mad about sites not being transparent about stealing your information, so they put up the draconian law stating that sites had to let you know what was going on. This met with incredible resistance, with some companies pulling the European versions of their web pages. They claimed it was to comply with the GDPR, but in reality they were pissed. No one had ever demanded they be honest before and there was no internal procedure to deal with it.

A compromise was reached, resulting in those horribly annoying popups about accepting cookies before looking at the page. So they can continue to screw you, but they have to announce it first.




  • So about Faceyspaces getting rid of those foreign fake political ads.... Lord Zuckerburg said measures were being put in place to stop additional accounts. OOPS, it seems the alleged measures have failed. Vice News and Business Insider applied to buy ads, with all sorts of funny business, like 'paid for by 100 senators' and using the same text as ads that were banned. Each ad was approved.
  • One can safely assume Lord Vader Zuckerburg is not amused. I would not want to be the employee blamed for this. The beatings are going to be particularly harsh, compared to the regular beatings.





I just saw an alert that a local high school has been locked down by the police. But there are no known threats. Obviously the police are just doing surprise visits to check for no known threats (and to cause parents to lose bowel control).

POLICE: knock knock
SCHOOL: yes?
POLICE: Police!
SCHOOL: what do you want?
POLICE: We've come to inspect the place.
SCHOOL: why? have there been threats?
POLICE: No, not at all. We're just here to really upset people. No threats, though.
SCHOOL: are you sure? Last week, the bomb squad came by to make sure there were still no bombs here. We caught them 'monitoring' the girls' showers.
POLICE: Oh no, no, no, nothing like that. Not at all. We're just doing random drills to cause panic, so we can practice saying "DON'T PANIC!" And to announce that there are no known threats.
SCHOOL: Ok. Well, come in then.

Moments later I heard the subject they were not looking for because there were no known threats had been detained and had 'it'. 'It' turned out to be a gun.

After briefly monitoring the situation for six hours or so, I think I have the factual sequence of events... I'm like some sort of unwell private dick... errr... reporter.

Hello, Police Tip Line..
Is this the police tip line?
Isn't that what I just said?
Did you say something?
I did.
No you didn't.
I most certainly did.
I have a tip.
Thank you for calling with a tip. I DID say that earlier.
You're lying.
We're the police - we NEVER lie!
You did. Just then.
Did you say you had a tip?
I don't want to talk about a tip now. You lied to me.

-- ten minutes later --

So I have a tip for you.
Good thing. This IS the tip line.
There's some kid.
Ok.
He's going to school.
Yes, that's rather serious.
No, he's going to school with a weapon.
WEAPON? Why didn't you SAY weapon?
I just did.
What kind of weapon.
A rocket launcher.
Rocket launcher?
Yes, a rocket launcher. Why do you repeat everything I say?
Are you saying I repeat everything you say?
You just did. Right there.
No I didn't.
Are you going to do anything about this rocket launcher the kid is bringing to school?
Yes sir, we're going to call every student in, plus their parents and the weekend staff (and their mothers). 
Why?
Higher body count. Works great in the news the next day. We get more funding.


-- ten minutes later, Lieutenant's office --

Sir, we have a creditable threat.
No you don't.
Yes sir, we do. I just got a tip... a student is bringing a rocket launcher to school.
This is horrible. Rocket launchers can be folded up and carried in pants, or up butts. Something must be done.
Yes sir, that's why I came to you.
Oh, is that MY job?
I believe so, sir.
Right... send SWAT, the dog team, the bomb squad, the drug lab, and the guys who wash the Special Neighborhood Police Tanks, wouldja? I want a detailed search of everyone in that building for a rocket launcher. Check a lot of pants. And make sure to get a good look at the girls' showers: SWAT didn't finish their last reconnaissance. Something might have changed. And put out a statement to the press.
Yes, sir.

Members of the press: SWAT and the bomb squad are doing random checks at a high school today - nothing to worry about. No credible evidence that there is a threat. 
What are you looking for?
Oh, nothing in particular.
Who made the threat?
No, there is no credible threat.
How do you know then?
It came over the tip line.
So there IS a credible threat.
No, we're just doing a surprise inspection to make sure there continues to be no credible threat. You can't be too careful, can you.
So in brief, an entire department is going to lock down an entire school to make sure there's no credible threat.
Exactly.

 --  Press Conference, 6 hours later  --

Members of the press: thank you for coming. We'd like to announce that SWAT, the bomb squad, the drug lab, and the guys who wash the Special Neighborhood Police Tanks visited a high school today and put it on lockdown. 
Why is this?
No particular reason.
Was there any credible threat?
None at all.
What did you find?
Nothing at all. Just a small, foldable rocket launcher. Nothing to be concerned about.
How long was the lockdown?
Not long - about six hours.
Where was the rocket launcher?
Uhhhh... in two people.
IN two people?
Yes. 
Are you aware there are midterm tests today?
No more questions, please.









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