Pigs Fly department:
A federal grand jury will hear evidence that 9/11 was a controlled demolition.
This is huge, whether you believe the assertion or not. Because of the JFK Effect, I'm somewhat skeptical of the outcome, but movement is great.
Both buildings came down in what looked like controlled demolition. One of the major news network reporters stated that it looked like controlled demolition, once. And never again. Then there was the rather inconvenient fact of Building 7, barely damaged, coming down in its own footprint too.
I guess this is the necessary first step to legally drill holes in the official story of what happened on 9/11. If it was controlled demolition, there's the question of who pushed the button, then who ordered the button pushed. Regardless of the ruling, one of the people involved has a name that rhymes with Rick Haney.
Speaking of Ancient Astronaut Theorists, there is proof from a semi-reliable source (NASA) that UFOs popped by to check in when our space missions were going on. Would you classify a NASA astronaut a reliable witness?
Things heard on missions:
"We have a bogey at 10 o'clock."
"We still have the alien spacecraft under surveillance."
The second one was even more interesting because the feed was being monitored by ham radio enthusiasts (the frequency is known and wide open). At the end of the sentence, audio went dead, as the transmission went to the encrypted feed. As for video, there are anomalies on moon footage and all sorts of interruptions on the space shuttle feed, as Odd Stuff appeared. ymmv
- I know you're losing sleep, wondering what's going on with my work phone.... two weeks after issue, the phone works, but the work configuration is still foobed. At this rate, the phone will be properly configured the week after I retire.
Speaking of Ancient Astronaut Theorists, there is proof from a semi-reliable source (NASA) that UFOs popped by to check in when our space missions were going on. Would you classify a NASA astronaut a reliable witness?
Things heard on missions:
"We have a bogey at 10 o'clock."
"We still have the alien spacecraft under surveillance."
The second one was even more interesting because the feed was being monitored by ham radio enthusiasts (the frequency is known and wide open). At the end of the sentence, audio went dead, as the transmission went to the encrypted feed. As for video, there are anomalies on moon footage and all sorts of interruptions on the space shuttle feed, as Odd Stuff appeared. ymmv
- A man entering Singapore was found to have a suspicious bulge in his pants, which turned out to be kittens.
- Sir, your penis is moving and swatting itself.
- Expect this to be on Twitter before you get home.
Christian Mare, serving a 40 year sentence for child pornography, was beaten to death in prison. He obviously slipped in the shower and hit his head repeatedly on the plumbing until he died.
Dear lefty:
- Why is there never a parking spot near my house?
- Because you touch yourself.
Parents just don't understand
Some of us have had to introduce our parents to cell phones. While this is about as much fun as beating yourself to death with a spoon, someone has to do it, and you feel sorry for the poor guy at the phone store.
I give up... "Just hit that button and ask Siri or Cortana. No, you can't call me; I don't have a phone anymore."
The funny and evil part about this is that people having an iDevice works for me for once. "Sorry, I don't know how to do that stuff on an iDevice. Call one of your children who have one."
Maybe sic-ing them on the guy at the phone store isn't such a bad idea after all...
Some of us have had to introduce our parents to cell phones. While this is about as much fun as beating yourself to death with a spoon, someone has to do it, and you feel sorry for the poor guy at the phone store.
- No, Mom, text messaging doesn't require a 'Dear Son' or a 'Love, Mom.'
- Yes, hit the little phone picture to dial. Yes, you have to dial a one first, just like the phone on the wall. Yes, you can use it in the car. Yes, you can call long distance to Aunt Sadie in Florida for no extra cost. Yes. Yes. Still yes.
- You can even put your doctor appointments in the calendar. Yes, there's a calendar - push the little calendar picture.
- Just because you text or call does not mean I'm going to pick up the phone.
I give up... "Just hit that button and ask Siri or Cortana. No, you can't call me; I don't have a phone anymore."
The funny and evil part about this is that people having an iDevice works for me for once. "Sorry, I don't know how to do that stuff on an iDevice. Call one of your children who have one."
Maybe sic-ing them on the guy at the phone store isn't such a bad idea after all...
- the Additive Suicide Principle of cell phones states that if you put one phone on top of another, the top phone will go rocketing to the floor as soon as you stop looking at them.
My personal recommendation of concerts arrived today. Keep in mind that I only attend instrumental guitar and classic rock shows...
Kiss - if I want to see too much makeup, I'll turn on the tv
Mariah Carey - speaking of Golden Globes...
Billy Joel - half of a classic rock, but yuck.
Tyler Perry's Madea - huh? Like top 10 radio, it's not music.
Bluegrass - that's close to classic rock, right?
Hootie and the Blowfish - we've all been holding our breath for a reunion
Backtreet Boys - backdoor boys? Killer guitar instrumentals
Disney Junior Dance Party - future meltdowns of America
Buckethead: be fair - it's instrumental guitar (with a KFC bucket on his head)
Piff the Magic Dragon - because they'll get sued if they use "Puff"
Other stuff I learned from watching police shows:
- Without exception, no one has their license or I.D. on them.
- It's ok to blame your grandmother for the joint if it's her car you're driving.
- When drunk, people always admit to having 2 drinks.
- You must use your turn signal for two full seconds before changing lanes. Or you'll be pulled over, and naturally, searched for drugs.
Dear lefty:
More adware posing as games, TV, and remote control simulator apps in Google Play. Trend Micro spotted this, not Google.
More Evil Villain News: Microsoft was sued in Finland and ordered to pay a Finnish man 1,100 Finnish Herring (1548 Canadian Pucks) for pushing a Win10 update, without permission, which broke his pc. There is another suit pending.
- Which men's designer jeans do I wear to the feminist supporter protest?
- How did you become such a snotty, virtue-signalling utter bastard?
More adware posing as games, TV, and remote control simulator apps in Google Play. Trend Micro spotted this, not Google.
More Evil Villain News: Microsoft was sued in Finland and ordered to pay a Finnish man 1,100 Finnish Herring (1548 Canadian Pucks) for pushing a Win10 update, without permission, which broke his pc. There is another suit pending.
- The aliens have their own Comedy Channel in the ships: our weather forecast.
The Key(board) to All Phone Grief
I tend to get aggravated when I use my phone. What pisses me off isn't necessarily what pisses you off. Stuff like bad cells, dropped calls, dropped phones, and dropping phones in the toilet are points of contention, but not mine. The single largest point of annoyance with my phone is input. The keyboard. It drives me mad. No matter how hard I try, how careful I am, how quickly or slowly I type, it never comes out right. I wind up screaming at the phone, calling it things I usually reserve for spouses and family members. After about a day of this, you don't want to see an allegedly grown man cry. It's pitiful, like my attempts at being polite in social situations.
I've tried manual typing, using one or both hands, different keyboards, changing key size, asking the dog to type, and the swipey keyboards. I get the same result regardless, just like my pitiful pleas for sex. I'll grant that my brain wiring is a touch off (no, really?), rendering me a dyslexic typist, but I can tell when I've typed something backwards (unless the A.D.D. is active, in which case I only read someof the first sent of a paragraph). The only thing I haven't tried, besides asking my wife to type for me, is voice input. I know if I tried talking to the phone (as opposed to yelling at it), I'd probably develop a case of dyslexic speech. ALthough it's almost impossible to speel words incorrectly when saying them, I'd find a way. Plus you remember my warnings about speech input - Google and the others keep every word you say, 'to improve service.'
The method that works best, best being relative, is swipey. One advantage is that they learn from you over time, making typing faster and easier. Except mine. My keyboard has some sort of learning disorder, where it allows me to make the same mistakes over and over again, like my life. There are certain words it refused to spell, mainly my saltier vocabulary. I have to type them one letter at a time, then tell the little bastard to remember the word. It's a good thing the blog software has a spell checker, or this blog would be even more horrid. If it had a grammar checker, it would have died years ago, like dehumidifiers in PA.
I tend to get aggravated when I use my phone. What pisses me off isn't necessarily what pisses you off. Stuff like bad cells, dropped calls, dropped phones, and dropping phones in the toilet are points of contention, but not mine. The single largest point of annoyance with my phone is input. The keyboard. It drives me mad. No matter how hard I try, how careful I am, how quickly or slowly I type, it never comes out right. I wind up screaming at the phone, calling it things I usually reserve for spouses and family members. After about a day of this, you don't want to see an allegedly grown man cry. It's pitiful, like my attempts at being polite in social situations.
I've tried manual typing, using one or both hands, different keyboards, changing key size, asking the dog to type, and the swipey keyboards. I get the same result regardless, just like my pitiful pleas for sex. I'll grant that my brain wiring is a touch off (no, really?), rendering me a dyslexic typist, but I can tell when I've typed something backwards (unless the A.D.D. is active, in which case I only read some
The method that works best, best being relative, is swipey. One advantage is that they learn from you over time, making typing faster and easier. Except mine. My keyboard has some sort of learning disorder, where it allows me to make the same mistakes over and over again, like my life. There are certain words it refused to spell, mainly my saltier vocabulary. I have to type them one letter at a time, then tell the little bastard to remember the word. It's a good thing the blog software has a spell checker, or this blog would be even more horrid. If it had a grammar checker, it would have died years ago, like dehumidifiers in PA.
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| Dear lefty..... |
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