We celebrate xmas, but only in the most commercial sense of the holiday. With a black xmas tree. We have a blue garland and I suggested wrapping it around Santa's neck, but I was overruled by She Who Must Be Obeyed. Yes, it's xmas day, and we're still considering decorating. We're lucky to get the tree out. Oh, who am I kidding, the black tree is for Halloween (last year), and also didn't get decorated for it. To emphasize the positive, the decorations have gotten really close to the tree this year, so that's something....
Things are different at ThermionicMansion.
I'm just happy to get a blog entry happening on xmas.
Once again I have a buttload of vacation days to burn up or I lose them. Work won't pay me for them, so once again, it's Forced Vacation! This means a lot of sitting, so we had to prep the couch. Mrs. lefty has been spending too much time in close proximity to me (some say any time near me is bad) and has decided to stay in for Forced Vacation and xmas. Her close 473 relatives will not be happy. They expect I won't show up, but she kinda has to. The first year it was pretty bad; we walked in and I developed fear of people and dove under the first table I could find. Unfortunately (or fortunately) it was the women's table and there were a lot of short skirts. But the noise was so bad, I couldn't stand it; like when I went to the dentist and was so afraid, I didn't even look down the shirts of the dental techs.
I watched early on and noticed one of the brothers-in-law dropped off his wife and either stayed in his car or left. This became a goal of mine, one I have more than succeeded in. It drives Wife crazy, because they all still love me and say nice things about me. When Wife spends a lot of time visiting her parents, Dad says to thank me for letting her come. I play stupid, but inside I'm laughing hysterically. The key here is to set expectations (to zero) early on, then show up once a year or three. It's like Christ has come back and is playing guitar and singing (Black Sabbath) songs for the family.
My parents are steadfast in their decision to remain dead, so the holiday has changed a bit for me.
I feel the need to compose an xmas ditty.
We know I'm a bit skewed. As a result, it's very difficult to get me presents.
On the first day of xmas, my family gave to me
One gallon of cologneAnd a yappy little rodent-type dog.
On the second day of xmas, my family gave to me
Two ugly sweaters [redundant, I know]
etc etc, like I'm going to type this all out.
3. a Taylor Swift cd
4. three matching mittens
5. Five Golden iDevices
6. a comb for my Male Pattern Baldness
7. ads on my blog
8. two right handed guitars
9. President Giveaway t-shirts
10. Dubya-signed plaque proclaiming America the smartest dang ol' city on Earth
On second thought, no new songs.
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