- I have long believed that my coworkers are animals who were raised by wolves. This is routinely proven by the fact that they never clean anything up. Today I noted (the hard way) that they have de-evolved to the point that they no longer flush.
- The number three person in the company stopped by to request that the locking code be removed from her cell phone because it was not convenient. --> Security: It's Not Convenient <--
- One of our marketing people was on the local news morning magazine for an impressive ten minute segment. During the entire segment, he failed to mention his employer. The contact info on the web page goes to an ex-employee. And he never told a single coworker he was on tv.
- My department has six birthdays this month, so we decided to celebrate together. Cakes were purchased. In ninety minutes, one of the cakes was taken out of the fridge and left on a table, where the animals consumed it. One dare not complain, lest he deny the right of the thief to steal his food.
- The company has had no mail delivery for two days because the driver is on vacation. In Philadelphia. Small wonder they're insolvent.
You simply can't make this stuff up.