Take This Debt and Shove It

Your love is like   - green fish tacos

Hawaii tourists follow GPS into water - many times.

It happened to me in New Jersey, but that might have been personal.

Today I identify as   everyone upset at Target -both sides.

So Target is in trouble. Wanting 'inclusion,' Target started carrying LGBTQ+ clothing. Naturally the South got upset, threatening violence and turning over displays, as well as arguing with the hourly employees. Target, 'concerned about the safety of their employees,' will be pulling some of the merchandise. This naturally upset LGBTQ+. It also proved that threats of violence work. I don't like that Target carries ugly clothes, so I don't buy them. Nor do I threaten employees or turn over displays. I don't care what they carry - it does nothing to upset my day (or my life). If it bothered me, I wouldn't shop there, voting with my dollars. Somehow it would never occur to me to threaten and destroy. I guess I need to be an alleged religious redneck to understand. Imagine that - the south being a problem. Bible Belt strikes again, in the midst of all manner of legal moves against freedom. This is a rerun of how many years ago?

Because of anti-LGBT legislation, people are terrified to come out. Shockingly, the highest percentage come from Utah, also the largest user of Pornhub. See? Keep trying to actively put down and pretend there's no problem and it explodes. This is also what happens when people voluntarily take a vow of celibacy - it's not in the human makeup to be celibate. So they act out with little boys and others. It's basic human nature, honed through millions of years of evolution. Or aliens.

In theory, America does not exist to legislate the beliefs of any one group. We have a Constitution that forbids it, yet these Rabid Religionoids keep at it. Funny, it only started after they got a majority in Congress. I hoped it would be fun to watch them give it back to the dems, but they took the ball and shoved it right up their own asses: may both of them rot in hell for what they've done to this country. And guess who put them there, by arguing one party is clearly superior to the other? The next time you're ready to say one party is better, take a look at your pay stub and tell me how much they've helped your financial situation by taking more and more of your hard-earned money for their ridiculous schemes and a ridiculous record debt. Hold them accountable. Let them know how you feel. Wanna improve the economy? Take less taxes and 'allow' people to keep more of their own money. Instead, we just get debt. If you think there will be meaningful tax reform, I want some of what you're smoking.

Debt Theater is always a shit show, and always follows the same script. Our memory is criminally short, and benefits only the criminals.

Why is There Hair?

So I'm sitting there, pulling out my ear hair, one at a time. 

Normally I just chuck them. When I'm feeling a hair OCD (get it - hair?), I let them fall onto a blank piece of paper. This makes them show up significantly. Since everything in the house is black or close, any examination would be impossible. When my OCD medication runs out, I line them up by size on the paper. I like to measure them all too, notating it under each hair, which requires more than one piece of paper. But I have larger questions:

1. How did we evolve ear hair? Why?
2. If the hair on your head falls off, why doesn't ear hair?
3. Is nose hair the same thing, in terms of evolution?
4. What kind of genetic freaks have we become?

Since very little of what we grow in and on us is just for fun, what do you suppose ear hair does in the first place? Did cavemen have a full ear of hair to protect them from the winter cold and summer sun exposure? 

• How stupid did they look if they were victims of Male Pattern Baldness? 
• Once we started to build huts, row homes, and McMansions, did we lose the need for ear hair, as well as head hair? If so, that would explain why there are only (hopefully) a few hairs still growing, as opposed to having to comb them.
• If we bring in nose hair for a bit, is it better to braid, trim, or YANK?

While the most satisfying is obviously YANK, there are other ways to go. If you're particularly concerned about your appearance, combing and braiding are recommended. Trimming is an option, but it needs constant maintenance. Mowing should probably not be considered, unless you're one of those adrenaline junkies, who jump out of planes and offend the mafia for the rush. The last option, which is highly distasteful, is ignoring the errant growths. I had to mention it so all options are presented. From a health standpoint, I understand YANKing isn't all that healthy. It can cause inflammation, infection, and huge boils which will make people mistake you for a witch. If you have an already large schnozz, this is a bad option. HOWEVER, there is simply nothing as satisfying as YANKing; inflammation and infection go away eventually, hopefully, unless you caused a serious infection, in which case it will have to be removed (your nose). After removal, you will long for your previous huge hooter (as Pete Townshend said). Pete is a verifiable humongous proboscis expert. The only one to benefit from this at all is a plastic surgeon, unless the emergency room personnel can re-attach the nose. While they might be able to clean up the mortally injured schnozz, you will still need to breathe through your ears. In this case, the ear hair will help filter out bad particles (and produce snot). Hmmm... I think we have our answer.

Tune in next week for  SNOT: Is it ok to eat? What about somebody else's?

Question: what word describes Congress and the best things in life?

Answer: I'll take boobs for $500, Alex.

Governor Extraordinaire and part time mailbox Gavin Newsom (D -Planet of California), pledged to nominate a black woman to replace Dianne Feinstein, should she ever do the right thing and leave. This would be called RACIST if it were in any other direction, and it's correct in either case. It's criminal. Oprah's name has been floated, because she's every bit as qualified as other governors, Congresspersons, and presidents. But she's black, she's female, and she's famous; you can't beat that. There's been Clint Eastwood, Ronald Reagan, Donald Trump, Sonny Bono, and others. Judge for yourself their performance in office.

The fact Gavin Newsom gets elected then re-elected says volumes about the people of the Planet of California. Don't forget, this is the place with the committee on reparations, that recommended $5 million to each victim. Then they cut it down to only $1.2 million.  How much will it cost?  How, exactly, will they pay for it? And does anybody deserve it, especially with your money?  Slavery was unconscionable, but I didn't enslave anyone, nor did I 'own' people. I have ancestors that suffered too, but no one ever speaks for them. Would I demand reparations? Nope - I did what I did by myself, instead of guilting others. It's possible for other groups - this is America: you own you and you make you. There has never been a better time to make it yourself. Come up with a unique idea and pursue it. We're a service-based economy - provide a service others don't and people will flock to your door. 

Don't forget, any suit against the government is also a suit against its citizens and taxpayers, deserved or not. As usual, we will pay the bill.

Don't forget: June is Pride Month.

This is one of the months your insane workplace sends around emails, asking you to celebrate.

It's not that I have any problems with the LGBTQ+-^$# community: I hate everyone equally. Any month at all that does not have left handed in it fails the Attention Test. I didn't hang out at work with the Pacific Islanders last month and it's not like I'm going to hang around with LGBTQ+_~~~)% at work this month. Never mind that we work from home and couldn't hang out with anybody at all, other than the dog (she's red and also doesn't have a month). I see no Multiple Personality Month either. It's wholesale discrimination, I say.

Who gives a dead squirrel? Shouldn't we keep this stuff at home? Yeah, it's funny to see the heads of gay-haters explode, but still... I think its also Vacation Month for the KKK. They leave the country so they don't have to take their blood pressure pills. At least they have the courtesy to wear those silly hats, so when their heads explode, there's nothing to clean up. It also makes it easier to spot whose head blew up by the red stains on the white hat. Do you suppose they starch those things? Nah, starch catches fire too easily, which would be rather unfortunate during the cross-burnings. Or fortunate, depending on your point of view.

Still no left handed history month.

After all that, I need to confess: it's time to come out. All my life I've kept it hidden, but I need to be true to myself. I'm forming the LGBTQW+ group. It's the same as the other group, with the addition of W.  --> W stands for Weird.  With all the partying my gay friends do, perhaps I should identify as a Pacific Islander instead.

Ok, I can't let the perversion of the English language go unchallenged when I see it.

Until fairly recently, the word 'hate' meant extreme dislike.

Now it means you don't agree with the speaker and they want to shame you for your feelings.

I don't "hate" right handed people. I extremely dislike them.

But if a right handed person heard me saying this, she'd say, "Don't hate on the right handers."

They say I'm "...phobic." Phobia is a fear of. I don't believe everybody who doesn't like right handed people is afraid of them - they simply don't like them. There IS a difference, but the language is being tied in knots to accommodate whatever group is using it. 

I don't like right handed people.

What's that about? Why the HATE? You're dexterophobic!

I didn't say I was FRIGHTENED of right handed people, I said I don't LIKE them. English wasn't your best subject in school, was it?