Happy Turkeys

Above all, I hope you have something to be thankful for (aside from this blog).

You may have to look very hard, but find it,

This has been my worst year in recent memory, with the loss of my mother. As I look back, the years seem to be getting shittier and shittier. Yes, I haven't been run over by something with tires the size of me, but that's not entirely one of those things you're thankful for... maybe I can make a list to help myself and others find something to be thankful for:

1. no airplanes crashed into you or your home (that you know of)
2. you didn't exercise and die from it
3. no nuclear war (your city is a primary target, you know)
4. pr0n finally came out in your area of interest (no, not the donkeys, please)
5. the doctors said you're clear
6. you only have to log in once to view ThermionicEmissions - bloody Google
7. enough shit happened to me to keep the blog interesting
8. you weren't in any poorly-constructed deep underwater craft when it imploded
9. you didn't kill that prick who cut you off (the cop behind you helped)
10. no satellites fell out of orbit and landed on you

I hope that helped.

After turkeys, it's Black Friday. You know, the original Black Friday. Not the ones that seem to have popped up and called themselves Black Friday. I joked that pretty soon, Black Friday would be in February, and it looks like it's on its way. I wasn't sure I'd see the day when games and headphones would be the major items to kill people for in stores. Could you imagine the Eternal Shame of being killed in Walmart, during a Black Friday, reaching for some ear-covering, noise-cancelling headphones, with the option of being able to hear through them? The headstone would be particularly depressing through the ages..

HERE LIES JOHNNY.

HE WENT IN TO WALMART ON BLACK FRIDAY AND NEVER CAME OUT.

1999-2024

Pray for his soul.

It probably doesn't get any better when you die and go to heaven, or that other place that has the strippers (and the lawyers). 

What happened to you? 

I was in Walmart on Black... 

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sucker! Are you mentally challenged or something? Go sit in the back.  St Peter and his posse will be here soon to individually laugh at you.

Speaking of Black Friday, the NAACP and Jesse Jackson have completely failed to protest the name, as demeaning to blacks (or something). I think they took a payoff from Retail.

• The bad news: war is ramping up all over the planet
• The good news: arms sales are through the roof! The military industrial complex never loses!

Reflecting on 20 years of Patch Tuesday - Microsoft

Yup, it just keeps growing and growing...

Asked about Thanksgiving, President Biden said he loved to see all those cute little bunnies on the White House lawn.

Conversations with my dog

Her: I've been thinking.

Me: Uh-oh.

Her: No, it's a good thinking. I want to give back, since you've been so nice to me.

Me: That's certainly a good thing. What were you thinking of?

Her: I'd like to be one of those service dogs for the police.

Me: That's quite selfless of you. But I doubt the police need a tuna-locating dog.

Her: I'll re-think this and get back to you. By the way, got any tuna?

I read that if you look in the sky, under certain circumstances, you can see tools. No, really. During a recent out of the capsule repair mission, a tool bag floated away and has been determined not to be in a dangerous orbit. So if you have a moment, try to locate the Magic Tool Bag.

Because if it had been in a bad orbit, that would have been most unfortunate. The Russian side of the ISS could get a screwdriver through it. Not that this will prove to be a bigger leak than the current ones. In spite of the leak(s), the Russian side of the ISS keeps trying to invade the American side, claiming the Americans started it.