Nasal Imperatives

A phone manufacturer named Nothing has ported Apple IMs to android.

Why, you ask?

Nobody knows, but it was shut down in 24 hours (ok, it was a security issue).

Let's be serious - who wants those stupid bleeps and bloops and ridiculous visuals? Android users are still pissed we have to put up with iDevice 'liked that message' notices. Guess what... I don't care if you liked my text or not. I do not derive my ability to get through another day because you liked my post. Or 12 friends liked it. I'd never do that. Except on my blog.

One of those endless Black Friday promos touted mouse pads.

Mouse pads?

Did Consumer Reports buy a bunch of them and test them? What was the testing criteria? Shape? Smoothness? Reaction from people you steered by them? Funky colors? Use as a tissue?

We've gone nuts.

• Some picky Australian mosquitoes may target frog nostrils for blood
• and here we thought they were merely a delicacy..

Deep space astronauts may be prone to erectile dysfunction, study finds

Well, there goes all the ThermionicEmissions reader astronaut job applications 

Study: The serotine bat uses its super-large penis as an arm when mating

So?  Don't we all? Drives the female bats crazy!  

 I got nothing for Thanksgiving. That's ok, I did want anything.

I also got nothing on Cyber Monday. What a stupid concept. Black Friday starts in October, and there are many of them.. they line up, like North Korean government officials, waiting to be shot. Next year, Black Friday will occur in February. Cyber Monday will start on Sundays. Now there's a Giving Tuesday. I like that one - I'm going to give myself a break from all this crap. The xmas trees have been out since July, but didn't fare too well this year due to climate change.

Now that I think about it, I did want something for Thanksgiving: turkey. I don't know what it is but I have trouble getting turkey on Thanksgiving. While some would consider it rude to demand a host serve a certain dish, mine has this fascination for lamb. To the best of my knowledge, the Pilgrims didn't fsck sheep, so I'm going with turkey. Mind you, the dog appreciated the hell out of the lamb, which came home in the appropriately-named doggie bag. Bless them, there was a turkey this year, but we were terrified of what might happen to it - perhaps a turkey stuffed with lamb (or tomatoes), so we had a few large boxes of Stove Top stuffing in the car, just in case. Another guest was from Colombia and brought a traditional dish that involved poorly-cooked yellow rice and stuff. I hear Colombia was pretty mad and sent something else.

When there is no turkey, Mrs. lefty says she'll make a small one at home, then promptly forgets. I decline to remind her because I like my testicles. Mostly, I really want a vat of vanilla buttercream icing, like Mom used to make.

My dish is always dessert. It's usually something chocolate and very heavy to carry (and eat). This year it was a pumpkin pie (with lamb) and a very heavy peanut butter/chocolate pie.

While I got vanilla and chocolate buttercream icing (and a spoon), Mom used to bring the best cake anyone ever had to events. It was a very heavy chocolate cake, with chocolate buttercream icing. Everybody went nuts over it. There was a little coffee in the icing, which only made it better. Mom played a really insidious joke on the family by telling us the cake recipe was on the chocolate tin. No member of the family could make the cake like she did. Mom literally took the recipe to the grave...I have to admit, she got us good.

It's been 3 months since she departed. Her ashes sat next to the table so she got to celebrate with the family. I suggested her ashes could summer at our house next year. 

We all miss her terribly. The grief sneaks out here and there, triggered by a situation or word. Whenever anybody says 'icing,' I'm inconsolable for hours.