The Chalkening

Consumers don't think they'll get hacked.
Consumers are stupid.

• Florida, that bastion of Amusing Stuff, aka God's Waiting Room, has just repealed a law banning unmarried couples from living together. Now all the criminals can come out from the dark. Old people sharing the same space no longer have to fear the SWAT team breaking down the door and possibly shooting the dog. Young people who flout the law need to find another quality to make them Badass.

Country legend Merle Haggard has joined that Band In The Sky. Not sure what to say about this. Admitting I feel a certain way might identify me as a country music fan, which would be tantamount to death.

• Drug maker Pfizer has terminated their planned merger with Allergan. In a rare view into huge corporate mergers, this was called off because of new laws that would not allow them to hide their money or use a tax haven offshore. Let us take a moment to empathize with these poor mega-corporations.

The World Health Organization states that the world is facing an "unrelenting march" of diabetes, which now affects one in eleven people.  So stay away from people with diabetes. It is extremely communicable through the air, like AIDS. You can also get it from toilet seats. If you do contract it, you will eventually spit out your gallbladder and turn a strange shade of orange, much like Donald Trump.

• A computer has recently painted its own 3D painting in the style of Rembrandt. Rock group Rembrandts promise legal action. The folks who ran the computer artist say the project will not be complete until the computer has a fit and runs out of the room in a Petulant Frenzy. And cuts off an ear.

Janet Jackson has delayed her tour to planning to become a mother. She's taking six months to a year off to learn how the whole thing works, another few months to perfect her technique, then will resume her tour.  Plans to use expanding belly to assist with Wardrobe Malfunctions.

• David Bowie is dominating the 2016 album chart. There's simply nothing as good for your career as death. Ask Hendrix.

In its rush to rename a law for Antonin Scalia, nobody noticed that the result would be ASSlaw. He said ass - heh heh.

• Speaking of which, I will never be too old to not laugh at farts. Or places like Lesbos and Phucket.

ThermionicEmissions is proud to announce the final season of Americans Idle. Unfortunately it's too late - everyone has migrated to the Kardashians.

• Here are four tips to stop iTunes from slowing down your computer. Actually I'll make it five: Don't use iTunes.

Lawyers for ex House Speaker Dennis Hastert have asked for leniency because of health reasons and because he is "deeply sorry."  Well, if he's deeply sorry, let's drop the charges. He has obviously learned his lesson.  Among other things, he is accused of child molestation.

42

I learned a new word today: fleek. Actually, I sort of learned this new word. Someone used it online so I plugged it into a search engine (duckduckgo.com, which doesn't track you) and came up at the Urban Dictionary. The first few entries did very little to help with my lack of knowledge. 'something to do with eyebrows' only served to confuse me further. Finally it mentioned 'on point', meaning someone's eyebrows were on point, cool. Being roughly the age of my readers, I didn't know eyebrows could be 'fly'.

• A plane was hijacked today. This is allegedly a person taking a selfie with the hijacker. Not sure if this is today's hijacking or a different hijacking. Amiable hijacker, though.

In Backwards World, today's installments takes us to Emory University. Someone chalked "Trump 2016" on some steps, resulting in the snowflakes feeling unsafe, demanding safe spaces, referring to looking at the words as assault. I couldn't possibly make this shit up. A mealy-mouthed response came from Ajay Nair, senior vice president and dean of campus life at Emory University. Just to prove that there is a modicum of sanity left in university life, some wags are chalking actual portraits of Trump on concrete to counter the impression that Emory students are afraid of chalkings. Lastly, here's an interesting overview. Beyond words. This phenomenon is popping up at colleges across the nation, in what is described as The Chalkening.

Just in case you think one example does not define a very strange movement, the Scripps College (a private women's college in California) student body president said a 'Trump 2016' whiteboard message is 'intentional violence' and racist.

If and when these buttercups graduate, the Real World<tm> will come as quite a shock to them. Imagine telling the CEO during a board meeting that you feel microaggressed by his suggestion and you need a Safe Space.

If you're in the mood for a little cultural appropriation, a black San Francisco State University Employee assaulted a white hippy for wearing dreadlocks. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

• The pope has condemned those who fail to help migrants. While failing to help migrants.

ThermionicEmissions bids a sad farewell to Ronnie Corbett, half of the British 'Two Ronnies'. The man was hysterical and brilliant. Check out some of their videos on YouTube. If you don't like them, I'll refund everything you paid.

• We all know my one (admitted) vice is watching COPS. Years back, the show featured a real-life murder-for-hire plot, including hidden video. A wife was trying to hire someone to kill her husband. Fast forward five years and the case is going to trial. Five years.

In this time of (greater) economic uncertainty, diversification is healthy. Queen has announced Killer Queen Vodka. Zakk Wylde (Ozzy, Black Label Society) is making guitars, amps and coffee. Sammy Hagar (Montrose, Van Halen, solo) makes tequila. Many rockers, of course, make various alcohols (go with what you know). Where is this all heading? Let us guess what rockers will be endorsing soon:

ZZ Top: combination barbecue sauce and antacid
Hendrix Estate: too late-they put his name on too much already
Gene Simmons: marketers can't find anything his name ISN'T on, except Depends
Lynyrd Skynyrd: life insurance
Ozzy Osbourne: health insurance, pet insurance
Lemmy Kilmister Estate: designer meth
Queen: condoms

Brussels Sprouts

Marshall the cocker will eat raw Brussels sprouts, but he prefers them slathered in butter and salt.

Moments after the explosion, the French rushed right in and did the right thing: they surrendered to the Brussels Airport, American Airlines Division.

• In England, sexting among under-16s is 'skyrocketing', leaving the rest of us to wonder, longingly, where this technology was when WE were young.

The FBI is warning new car owners about hacking risk (from the FBI).

• Batman vs Superman? We have truly exhausted every plot imaginable. God vs Muhammed? The Tick vs Bipolar Bear?

The self-lacing shoe? Have we finally reached the point where we're too lazy to tie our own shoes (people in pain aside)? I appreciate the surety of taking the trash out and untying my shoes automatically (and tripping). Or running out after the dog at 3am because he's barking. This way, the neighbors get the dog barking and me cursing over shoelaces magically coming untied. I think the neighbors look forward to these events (it's a quiet neighborhood). But seriously.. self-dressing underwear? Auto-install bras would take half the fun out of things.

• What happens when you introduce an innocent Artificial Intelligence chat robot to Twitter? Well, it's kind of predictable - you get an evil Hitler-loving, incestual sex-promoting, 'Bush did 9/11'-proclaiming robot. There is a slight possibility that aritficial intelligence is not ready for prime time.

A woman has married the sperm donor father of her child. Dates, like sperm, are hard to come by.

• TMZ, the foul, evil, stupid tv show, has been sued for naming the wrong rapper who cut his penis off. Is this a thing now?

A Saudi prince has been sued for trashing a $100,000 Hollywood mansion via wild cocaine, stripper-fueled parties. Who knew the Saudis could party like this?

• Flight MH370 has become so good at not being found that a remote-controlled robot that was searching for it disappeared.

Bill and Ted 3 is waiting for a script and has studio support. This includes Alex Winter (who is working on a Frank Zappa movie) and Keanu Reeves. Whether or not we want to see it is anyone's guess.

When I die and go to hell, it will look just like Chuck E. Cheese

Hey Hey We're All Monkeys

Here we are, in week Whatever of the presidential race and I will attempt to explain things to the best of my abilities.

We have:

• Three whould would like to implement a theocracy, including one whose introduction mentioned killing gays.
• One unindicted career criminal.
• One socialist.
• One demagogue, but at least he's not owned by anyone.

We libertarians don't look so crazy, do we?

Want to know how your candidate views cybersecurity? They don't. They're completely incapable of comprehending it. Judging from statements, they would all prefer that governmental agencies have access to your email, phone calls and location.

In Berlin, a car exploded, killing the driver and destroying the car. Police suspect a bomb.  Because cars explode all the time, right?

• Rock keyboard legend Keith Emerson (71) has gone to the great keyboard store in the sky. His death was ruled suicide (possibly due to the gunshot wound). We wish his sigficant other and family well. 
• Depression is a terrible thing: please don't let it go untreated. Sometimes we drink or do drugs to mask the pain... get some help. There are talk and medicinal therapies that help. There may be a community health center if you can't afford a private doc. You can also ask your primary physician.

For some reason I cannot explain, we have a four foot string of bells hanging on the front door. They might have come with the wife but this would have been over twenty years ago (I catch on quickly). The cat, having been 'strongly discouraged' from shredding the furniture when he wants to go out, now rings the bells. Not to be outdone, the dog bangs on his water dish when it needs to be filled. Once again, it's a bitch when your pets are smarter than you.

• People are getting Donald Trump tattoos. Do you think that, at any point in the future, they'll regret it?

A New Mexico man faces charges after chasing two women around a home with a chainsaw. I don't know what they're so upset about - it sounds like a normal evening around here...

• The entire Washington, DC Metro line has shut down for a day for inspection. Let's think critically:
• the system has never been shut down for any reason other than weather
• the mayor was not consulted
• not that anything moves in DC anyway but you don't shut down the entire public transportation system during the day, for a day
• couldn't the system be inspected in the evening, so as to inconvenience fewer commuters?
• I'm not saying aliens, but....
• On the other side, this inspection is to check for an electrical fault that has occurred twice recently.
•    --> When I read a headline like this, I prefer to stop, collect the facts, and hopefully arrive at a decision. It's my version of Critical Thinking. Taking all this into consideration, what do you think?

Meanwhile in Massachusetts, the police entered a bar with the intent of shutting it down, for whatever reason police shut down bars. The DJ must have slipped and played 'F*ck the Police', by N.W.A.(Ninnies Wearing Aardvarks?). As a result, said DJ was charged with disorderly conduct for trying to incite a riot. I suspect this one won't hold up in court, if contested.  In other news, Donald Trump says there will be hell to pay if he isn't elected.

• Last week I took my lunch out of the fridge to take to work, reminding myself that I needed some barbecue sauce. At work, I discovered that I had forgotten the sauce (like you haven't done the same thing). As I took my first bite, the container jumped up in the air and promptly deposited my entire lunch on the floor under my desk. I'm very efficient, so it hit my desk, the floor, and my pants. It turns out peas can roll over six feet in any direction, and that's before falling. Now I have sauce down my pants leg (think Velveeta color) and I'll be picking up peas for the next week.
• I've been under my desk and there are several undiscovered species living there, so the five second rule didn't apply. In the end, all worked out well.. I didn't want to eat it without sauce and I didn't have to. Now shut up and go with that logic because if I think about it any more, I'll be very upset. And hungry.

A recent study finds that Seasonal Affective Disorder does not exist. People who have Seasonal Affective Disorder are reportedly quite confused. In other news, there is no such thing as bipolar disorder - people are just moody.

• A man charged with killing six people in Kalamazoo, MI, says that the Uber app took control of his mind. On the positive side, for $8.95 per mile, he'll shoot the people of your choice too.

After last week's $1,300 Prescription Fiasco, I received a call from my employer. They wanted to know if they could help somehow. Class act, folks.

More Targeted Ranting

You know that one of my favorite topics is healthcare. This time it's a doozie, if we can ever begin to define doozie.

For those of you following at home, my new insurance has a $5,000 deductible, plus over $500 per month in premiums. I shopped Obamacare and found that my choices were very similar, so I went with a work plan.

I had to pick up a prescription the other day. This was at the only pharmacy chain I was permitted to use. The lovely lady behind the counter, flush with cleavage (moreso than most customer service people) rang the medicine up and hesitated, backing away from the register. This was a subtle sign that I chose to file away in the almost not-noticed category.

She asked if I knew I had a copay. Of course I had a copay, this was Obamacare. This is when I made my second mistake: "Hit me," I said.

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

I forgot all about her cleavage, which is something I cannot normally avoid and asked her to repeat it, in case I had stuck an icepick in my ear or had a lapse in my ability to comprehend numbers.

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars?

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

For medicine?

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

For an old, generic medicine I have to refill monthly.

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, to quote South Park. What have we come to? This is a negotiated preferred price. I cannot afford that now, no less monthly.

What exactly were the criminal Obama and criminal Congress thinking? Oh yeah, gifts for the insurers and Big Pharma<tm>. How are (semi-)normal people supposed to afford healthcare? I have bloodwork scheduled and I'm wondering if I should mortgage the house in preparation. HOW IS THIS INSURANCE?

My doctor recommended a few online sites. Friends recommended Canada. I wound up at goodrx.com. This is a coupon-based site that negotiates deals. It even works with insurance. You can only go to certain places but they are chains, like Walmart. According to the website, my thirteen hundred and forty seven dollar prescription would cost me thirty seven dollars. Really - thirty seven dollars. Gee, that's a bit of a discount.

Off to Walmart. The medicine was six hundred dollars cash. With the coupon, it was only about three hundred and fifty dollars. Even the most math-impaired among us will recognize that the discount price was about ten times the advertised price. The kind gentleman behind the counter, completely without cleavage, informed me that the 'discount' price from the website was usually incorrect, even to the ten times figure.

A call to the site yielded the fact that although there were seven options, none of them led to a human (even after yelling the F-word, which sometimes gets you what passes for a human). Each option recommended performing that action online. Emailing would take twenty four hours, which I did not wish to spend wandering around Walmart, even considering this was a twenty four hour Walmart.

My very patient doctor prescribed something else, which was ready in ten minutes, at about sixty bucks with coupon from goodrx. When I suggested strangling the people who voted for Obamacare, the doc said it was actually Big Pharma<tm>. That's a lot of strangling. The situation is so bad that the doctor didn't have health insurance. Digest that for a moment.

Contact your Congressperson and demand a workable solution. This can mean torture and/or starving for people who need healthcare. You think gun-related violence is bad now? Wait til people can't get their psych meds.


With concern and respect,
-lefty

Help Save the Texas Prairie Chicken

In Backwards World: at the recent Democrat debate, Hillary interrupted Bernie. Bernie told Hillary that he was not done speaking yet. The social media-sphere went crazy, proclaiming Bernie sexist for interrupting Hillary.

• Rescuers are still valiantly searching for Flight MH370. Huffing and puffing. Using their best people. They remain hopeful.

I'm going to go ahead and be un-PC, as if this blog were anything else, and state flat out that Curvy Barbie is NOT curvy; she's fat. The fact is, skinny and average women can be curvy, yet larger women seek to co-opt the term. I don't care what size you are and if you claim it's a preference or result of some malady... facts are facts. Big is big.

• Today we celebrate International Women's Day. Also International Breast Awareness Month. Also International Higgs Bosom Month.
• Apparently it's also National Pancake Day. Another incursion by the Pancake Lobby.

So how about that Trump?  You have to be doing something right when your entire party is conspiring to beat you in the election. Like him or hate him, he's made waves.

In other election-related news, Michael Bloomberg will not be running for president. Essentially this means our large sodas are now safe.

• Sportscaster Erin Andrews has won $55 million in a lawsuit over illegally taping her in the nude. Man, I can't even get my wife to tape me (not that she's got a spare $55 mil laying around).

Ex-Rolling Stone Bill Wyman has been diagnosed with cancer. Hopefully he'll be ok. Cancer has been getting way too many headlines these days, including a brother-in-law.

In other music news, AC/DC is rapidly approaching Lynyrd Skynyrd status in terms of luck. Their drummer is accused of murder, a guitarist developed early dementia, and now their singer is close to complete hearing loss. The tour has been canceled for some reason.

In even more music news, this time very good, Joe Walsh and the original Bad Company have announced they're touring. For info, go to joewalsh.com or pollstar.com. See you there.

• Further proving absolutely nothing goes unpunished, Boston bombing survivor Victoria McGrath has died in a car crash.

The US gun industry want to have silencers reclassified as hearing protection devices. I fully support the Second Amendment, but this is pretty funny.

• Apparently a football player called Peyton Manning has retired. Naturally I don't follow sports but I recently saw a picture of him. I truly want to know if his forehead was Photoshopped. You can run movies on it.

It's a shame that the World Anti-Doping Association doesn't go after the real dopes. Meanwhile, if Maria Sharapova feels really bad, we are here for (immoral) support.

• Kardashian: it's not body-shaming to point out that your ass is the size of Texas.

A man has been arrested in the shooting of a pastor who just led prayer at some politician's rally. Let's say it was Cruz's, because he wants to rule a theocracy. Any normal person would abhor shooting an innocent man. But there were mitigating circumstances: the shooter said the pastor was a Martian and was destroying his life. 

And speaking of shootings, the leader of the occupation of an Oregon wildlife refuge was shot three times in the back, as well as many others. The FBI can't account for some of the shots. The county prosecutor called the shooting "justified and necessary:" Like RFK, I guess.

• Black feminists at the University of Missouri feel their Safe Spaces invaded by feminists who aren't 'black enough'. This school will shortly eat itself.

A tissue thought to be from an airplane washed up on the British shore yesterday.  This might be tied to similar tissues on Flight MH370.

• I'm flummoxed but this week a gun killed someone, a car drove into a pole, and the Elvis estate is suing a Las Vegas casino. It's been a banner week for inanimate action!

With Leather!

So there's a Rebecca Black Operating System. It comes with a gun so you can shoot yourself.

• The wallpapers for Ubuntu 16.04 have been revealed. Because we don't give a shit about the operating system-we're only concerned about how it looks.

Apparently we've been playing Gershwin wrong for seventy years - the taxi horns are out of tune. The joke is on the horns, as nobody I know plays Gershwin.

• Clarence Thomas just broke a ten-year silence at the Supreme Court. He farted.

A Google self-driving car hit a bus in California last month. Twelve people sued SEPTA in Philadelphia for injury.

• In news no one saw coming, a top Vatican cardinal says senior clergy lied about child sexual abuse. I think the Catholic church has jumped the shark. They have proven time and again they cannot/will not clean their own house. Absolutely no offense meant to Catholics. 

In the interest of truth in reporting, it's very telling to note the crazed reporting of Donald Trump's Secret Service detail shoving a reporter to the ground. They seem to be conveniently ignoring the picture of the reporter grabbing the Secret Serviceman's neck first. If you need any proof of biased reporting... and Trump isn't my choice - I'm just pointing this out.

• Pennsylvania diocese knew of sex abuse for decades, grand jury says. Perhaps it's time to build a new Catholic church. The old one is riddled with child molesters and cover ups.

A British company will allow women to take days off during period. I can't decide if this is just plain silly or defamatory to women.

• How to get around Ebay's latest security vulnerability. If you're not interested in why and how, start about halfway though.

Ever wonder why tv shows and movies cover up logos? Wonder no more. I like it because I see less apples.

• Still undecided on November's election? I think I have the answer to your problems: Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen! Hookers and blow in the White House, out in the open. No more sneaking them in through the back door, a la JFK. Transparency! Make the Oval Office back into the Oral Office, as it should be. Isn't it time for beautiful women in the White House? 

Seventh Day Adventist minister and nearly inaudible presidential candidate Ben Carson has said "there is no way forward" for his campaign.  He did not say he was pulling out (if that's ok with Seventh Day Adventists), just that there was no way forward and he would not be doing the opening number at the next debate.

• The Department of Defense has invited hackers to hack the Pentagon's websites. What could possibly go wrong?

If you're into music, you should see the new movie Jaco. It's about the legendary bassist Jaco Pastorius and his influence on music. Just got done watching it - highly recommended.

I just want it to be this easy.

I Swear that Blind Dude Was Starting at Me

None other than Bill Gates is supporting the FBI in its bid to force Apple to unlock an iPhone. Bill feels that since his operating system is full of holes, iDevices' must be also.

• Mars has recalled Mars and Snickers bars in Germany after bits of plastic are found. Production will be resumed after 'bits of plastic' are added to the ingredients information on the wrapper.

Charlotte, NC, has passed a law allowing transgender people to choose public bathrooms that correspond to their gender identity. I don't expect any issues with this, do you?

• A remote server, on by default, has been discovered in Comodo Gear. If you use Comodo browser, antivirus, or anything else, please replace it.

A man who legally changed his name to "Bacon Double Cheeseburger" has no regrets. Post-change shock and surprise: there was alcohol involved.

• A South Carolina policeman has been arrested for masturbating to cell phone porn in his car. 10-4.

Billion dollar San Francisco startup Zenefits has to ban smoking, drinking and having sex on premises. Employees leave now that all the benefits are gone.

• NO SPERM IS SAFE: Three women in Zimbabwe picked up a hitchhiker, forced him to have sex, then made off with his semen. Apparently the semen is used in traditional luck-enhancing 'juju' rituals. I think they have this all wrong: rape is not permissible. Make this a feature and men will line up for rides.

Black Lives Matter folks say supporting the Constitution is 'White Supremacy'.

• Starbucks is opening its first store in Italy.  They are not prepared for the building tremors caused by an entire country laughing.

Is porn addiction a real thing? It cannot be measured scientifically because scientists cannot find anyone who doesn't watch porn for the study.

• The foremerly repressed China is having a rather rapid sexual revolution. Premarital sex has gone from 15% to 71%. Sex-tourism might be a good idea after all.

It Ain't Easy Being Queen

According to a Coventry (UK) study, sex can help ward off dementia for men and women. The study was published in Age and Aging. Now get out there and do your best to ward off dementia!

• I'm trying to decide if this is a good thing or not: Hookers for Hillary. Yes, Nevada's finest are coming out for their candidate. No word on whether their servers are in the bathroom or not..

It's great to be alive: Doing the Science on what makes a vagina beautiful.

• A gay high school teacher was fired after someone broke into his Dropbox account, stole a sex tape, and posted it to the school's site. This is the price we pay for bad security, bad judgment, and good connectivity. Remember Bob Crane? You may know him as Colonel Hogan, from Hogan's Heroes. Bob was involved in all sorts of interesting extracurricular activities but didn't post the results in an easily accessed public location with questionable security. Plus Bob was limited to 8mm film and no internet, so things kept themselves pretty private until he was assisted (murdered) in leaving this plane. What did we learn? 
• We learned not to make sex tapes. Since we're obviously going to ignore this, find an incredibly safe place to store them. Not on your phone. Not in The Cloud. Not on your parents' phones.
• We learned not to put them in a place that can be publicly accessed (Dropbox).
• We learned not to keep the Dropbox credentials in email (Gmail).
• We learned to use an encrypted password manager (try Keepass).
• We learned that if we're going to use a Dropbox-like service (which we shouldn't use), to make sure the data is encrypted (beyond the scope of this message but software to do this is at link).
• Lastly, we learned that a really interesting topic, like famous sex tapes, can deteriorate into a data safety lecture.

A Seattle man is in hot water because he was found using a women's locker room. He cited the gender rule, which allows people to choose a bathroom based upon gender identity. This sure would have kept me out of a lot of trouble when I was little. While I identify as an octopus, I just liked hanging around naked women.

• Calls em where I sees em: I'm no fan of iDevices but Apple just turned down the FBI's request to hack into one of the San Bernadino shooters' cell phones. Way to lead, guys! If you repeat this to anyone, I will flatly deny saying it.

A man accused of stalking Gwyneth Paltrow was acquitted on charges of felony stalking and attempted stalking by a jury at Los Angeles Superior Court. As I mentioned in last week's missive, this fellow, who spent a bit of time at the Happy Place<tm>, has been stalking Gwyneth for seventeen years. During the trial, Gwyneth testified to the harm this man had caused her. There was undeniable proof that he was stalking her, including admissions from the stalker. Yet the jury acquitted. There was no actual stated reason for the acquittal. His lawyer stated, "He's unique.... He's special...he's very cogent." Stay out of California.

• 5G is coming! What will it mean for you? It will mean you'll only be able to connect at 3G or 4G.

Five members of Friends are reuniting for a much-anticipated reunion on TV. Because the entire world has been awaiting this moment. This show will obviously cure cancer and bring about world peace. No, really.

• Hollywood has an "epidemic of invisibility" for women, minorities and LGBT people that runs across the industry, a study suggests.  And, as it turns out, the NBA has the same "epidemhttp://www.networkworld.com/article/3032567/android/7-android-tools-that-can-help-your-personal-security.htmlic of invisibility". Who you gonna call?

Hotels, sometimes unable to fill rooms, have taken to offering day rates, which they refer to as "Afternoon Delight" rates. Yes, hotels come into the 21st century!

• Guess what's back.. Microsoft Word document viruses!  Simply opening the document will hijack every file on your system.  Please read the article at the above link. You don't have to be a company to have this happen.  DON'T CLICK ON EVERY LINK. DON'T OPEN SOMETHING YOU AREN'T EXPECTING. CHECK WITH THE SENDER IF YOU'RE NOT SURE. Kirk out.

If you downloaded Linux Mint recently, DELETE IT. It was compromised and contains malware. The distribute should be downloaded from the proper channels (which were hijacked recently and are now fixed). I prefer Xubuntu. Ask questions if you have them.

• It's tax time and the IRS is a mess. Last year many refunds were hijacked, going to incorrect recipients. I know a victim of this who had to hire a lawyer to get her own money from her refund. It took the better part of a year. The IRS reports a 400% increase in Phishing and malware in the past year. Be careful out there. Again, if you have questions, ask.

 FBI Director James Comey claims the agency doesn't want to break anyone’s encryption or set loose a master key to devices like the iPhone. However, if Apple complies with the request, this is precisely what will happen. Comey is being disingenuous, as usual.

• 7 Android tools that can help your personal security.

Four people go into a pizzeria and ordered pizza knots. They came out with cheese, which the patrons DID NOT WANT. One lady gets huffy and demands her money back. Police were called because this lady felt that the employee put the money on the counter in a rude manner. She and three others ransacked the restaurant. Someone threw a glass parmesan cheese container, which damaged a tv. Kitchen ransacking ensued. The happy foursome fled but were captured by police.  I'm still trying to figure out why the employees considered this an unreasonable response - if more people made this sort of correction, fewer incorrect orders would be produced..

Transvaginal Mesh

McDonalds salads have more calories than their Big Mac. What did I tell you about rabbit food?

• Coldplay is honored to play at the Superbowl but they 'know nothing about football'  Or music.

RIP Edgar Mitchell (85), Apollo 14, 6th man to walk on the moon. Lived a very interesting and productive life post-moon.

• A Temple University professor has stated that listing gender on official forms is nonsensical. I dunno - have you seen some of their students?

I just heard someone say 'Awesome Sauce'. When I'm president, that phrase will get you 6 years in jail.

• And speaking of the death penalty, if I hear the words Superbowl, Coldplay, Beyonce, halftime, or commercials....

Today in Upside Down World, a Chicago cop is suing the family of a teenager he fatally shot for $10 million, claiming emotional distress. You simply cannot make this shit up.

Continuing the theme, California has issued 605,000 drivers licenses to illegal aliens. Somebody has an agenda here but I'm not smart enough to figure out what it is.

In case you missed hearing about the University of Missouri, the VP of the students association is tired of the  First Amendment because it's creating a "hostile" and "unsafe" environment.

• A frozen lake used as a parking lot at the annual Winter Fest in Wisconsin melts, sending cars plunging into the water.  Hmmm.. parking on ice over a lake... weather forecast... who could have seen this coming?

Nanny State New York Mayor Bill de Blasio unveiled new regulations for crane safety in the wake of the recent crane collapse.  You know, try not to fall over and kill people. 

• Bored in London? Stop by Jimi Hendrix's apartment. The decor is a bit reconstructed by his former girlfriend, Kathy Etchingham, but it's history. Handel lived there too, sorta. There's a great story about Jimi giving tours to lovers of Handel. CORRECTION: Jimi died from sleeping pills, not the generic 'drug overdose'.

Gwyneth Paltrow is taking the stand in the case against her seventeen-year long stalker. He must not be much of a stalker if this has gone on for seventeen years. Perhaps prison will provide some remedial stalking lessons for him.

• HEADLINE OF THE WEEK: Mutant sperm-factories spread in men's testicles as they age to increase the risk of children with genetic diseases, researchers have shown.

A man has been arrested for lobbing a three foot alligator through a fast food drive-in window. He should not be punished-he should be rewarded. Every one of us, at some point, has wanted to throw a live alligator through a fast food window, haven't we?

Speaking of which, Chipotle will close their restaurant if anyone barfs. This will prove quite problematic should McDonalds adopt the same policy.

• A migrant headed to Spain managed to hide himself, strapped into a car's rear bumper. For some unknown reason, he got nabbed. That had to be a hell of a ride.

It's a very interesting time to be alive, at least for us Little People. The Powers That Be (PTB) have a more difficult time putting things over on us due to the near instant communication available these days. If it weren't a problem, countries wouldn't be rushing to censor or stop the Net. Anything large happening tends to appear online for monitoring.

There are a few mobile apps for monitoring police/fire scanners from all over the world, the best being Scanner Radio (free for android, not sure about others). From home, you can monitor all this at broadcastify.com (where the mobile feeds come from). Reddit (.com) has live feeds for large events. 

Twitter may be the fastest and most complete, yet overloading and frustrating. You can set up a search for whatever you want, in real time. Last night I monitored the situation with the group occupying the bird sanctuary in Oregon, on Twitter. So much info that I couldn't read it as it zipped by onscreen. Youtube carried audio being broadcast from inside the building on many different channels. The FBI had surrounded the building and was demanding their surrender, using all sorts of obvious tactics. I have no doubt that the situation would have turned out differently (READ: ugly) if they weren't livestreaming from inside the building.

This is a tremendous step up from days we relied upon mass media for our (quite biased) information (regardless of how we feel or the legality of the event). Perhaps the internet should get a Nobel Peace Prize, as opposed to warlike presidents.

• Regardless of how you feel about him, Bernie Sanders could potentially be the first Jewish president. Think of the implications... remember the shit-storm when Kennedy was the first Catholic?
• Hanukkah would be a national holiday with eight days off
• Only kosher hot dogs will be served at stadiums
• No more bacon cheeseburgers
• Two sets of dishes at the White House
• Weekly bombing of Iran.
• Anti Defamation League will make up his Cabinet (and drawers)
• Everyone entering the White House will have to wear a beanie, but we'll call it a Bernie
• All press conferences to begin with "Oy vay"
• Contracts will be negotiated for wholesale pricing only
• All disputes solved by using guilt

More than 100 schools have been closed in Bangalore due to sightings of leopards. And here in PA/US, schools close after a forecast of 1/2" snow.

• Noted without comment: How to file your 2015 taxes for free.

You Call That Insurance?

They say to never blog while pissed off but I don't care. I don't even know who They are anyway.

I got a letter from my pharmacy insurer last week. Note that this used to be covered under insurance. The letter stated that I have to use a certain pharmacy or mail order or pay for it myself. My 'insurance' went into effect on the first of the year, so why wait thirty days to send me notice?

My benefits admin was very pleasant and called the pharmacy insurer with me. They kindly told me exactly what the letter said. I told them I support a local pharmacy, as I have for the past twenty years. Tough shit - you use THIS pharmacy or we don't pay.  Ooh, I forgot to mention that the pharmacy insurer has a two part name, the second part being the pharmacy I must use. Nothing fishy there.

I've flippin HAD IT.
(don't blog when pissed off)

My first effort against this travesty called insurance was to contact my congressman. He greatly sympathized with my plight and promised to vote to repeal Obamacare as soon as possible. For some reason, I did not feel helped.


I PROMISE YOU CAN KEEP YOUR DOCTOR

I am trying my best to state facts and not call people names; it's juvenile and counterproductive. (Even though I feel juvenile and want to release a fusillade of epithets in their general direction.) The fact is that the President and every Congressman who voted for this travesty should be thrown out on their asses. Better yet, they should have to USE Obamacare. A special version of Obamacare that involves $500 per week premiums and a $20,000 deductible. Let them live like the proles.

This alleged insurance is a scam, benefiting lower income folks, insurance companies and of course, Big Pharma<tm>. It is not my intention to offend any of you who fall into these categories - there are better ways to do this. We were lied to from the beginning. It's not insurance if it doesn't start paying until you meet your yearly $5,000 deductible. Any idea what it would take to do that? Perhaps being run over by a bus, if you manage to live. This would create its own unique set of issues because after you've met your deductible, the copays start, not to mention the emergency room fee, the doctor fee, the diagnostic fee(s), and $40 copay per gourmet hospital meal (featuring fruit from a can, vegetables from a can, mashed potatoes from a can, and chicken from a can). We will simply pay for every medical expense, all year long, unless, heaven forbid, we reach our deductible. And all this is mandatory. I don't care what the Supreme Court says; they have no right to compel us to purchase something.

I was out of my mind with rage over insurance years back, with premiums that rose up to fifteen percent per year. That seems like Disneyland by comparison.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? (Animal House)
It's time for ACTION. Yes, action. Let's get ready for it.
The only problem is what kind of action.
To start, we need to lobby Congresspeople. Write letters and emails. Call and visit their office to talk to their staff (they have staff to help people with insurance and other things).
We're fighting Insurers. We're fighting entrenched government and Big Dollar Lobbies.
We need to take a stand and the time to do this is now. The republicans promise to repeal Obamacare but I believe some of them voted for it. It's all a show regardless. Neither party will help us.



Don't even get me started on dentists; which your plan may or may not cover.

Sanpellegrino Grapefruit - the Editorial Issue

No, seriously. Sanpellegrino makes sparkling water and some really tasty flavored sparkling water. I am not particularly fond of grapefruit but when I tasted this, I was eating a grapefruit.  Unfortunately I get nothing for mentioning/endorsing this.


If you're planning to go to the Superbowl, you're going to get surveilled so closely that you'll feel like you're getting a colonoscopy.  Security Theater strikes again!  It's for the children.

• A child was kicked out of grade school because of his DNA. Really. Because of some health issues at birth, he had a DNA scan, which revealed the possibility of Cystic Fibrosis. The parents disclosed this to the school on the entrance form. Now the child has been bounced from school because of the potential illness, which would require him to be kept away from all sources of infection. Mind you, the child does not have Cystic Fibrosis. This is the opening shot of Genetic Discrimination. If you've had a DNA scan, you had better find a way to hide it. If your boss finds out you have a genetic disposition to alcoholism, you're outta there. Depression? Bye! 

In case the FDA approves it, you'll want to know that there are now vaginal marijuana suppositories for period pain relief. My mind boggles at the concept of getting a secondary high.

• Don't you hate it when this happens? Author Whitley Strieber was having some landscaping done when the entire crew quit and walked off. The foreman explained that "one of those aliens walked across your driveway." Even stranger, the crew would accept no money.

Hillary Duff's divorce was just finalized. I'm just warning my wife in case she starts calling again. The Vanessa Hudgens situation really got out of hand.

• Thank all that is holy - there will be a Fast and Furious 9 AND 10!

Hundreds of Missippi citizens received jury summons with instructions to call a sex hotline. I'll bet they never have trouble finding jurors.

• A cleaning lady in Mannheim confused an art installation with garbage and threw it in the trash. It's a fine line. You'd probably do it too.

The IRS had to shut down the E-File system due to a 'hardware failure'.  Libertarians: not even in office and already fulfilling their promises.



TECH CORNER

If you haven't been paying attention or slipped and used the Microsoft Edge browser, know that the InPrivate Mode isn't private. You don't even have to understand why... if you use inPrivate mode for privacy, USE ANOTHER BROWSER.

If you use Comodo browser, stop. It poses a security threat.

If you use Malwarebytes antivirus, it can take 3-4 weeks to fix flaws. Malwarebytes' free malware buster is not mentioned. I highly recommend it for weekly scans and getting rid of stubborn malware (on Windows machines).

If you purchased a Microsoft Surface Pro tablet, Surface Pro 2 or 3, your AC power cord is being recalled. Some small nuisance over fire and electrical shock.

Six ways linux is more welcoming than Windows for newcomers.

DO NOT PISS OFF THE INTERNET

Unless you've been hiding under a rock, you have seen the video of the Indian doctor abusing an Uber driver. She was placed on leave by the hospital where she works. But that's nothing compared to the figurative beating she has gotten for pissing off the internet. As the video went viral, people emailed her with all sorts of nasty suggestions, including 'strongly encouraging' suicide. As if this weren't enough, someone found her address and leaked it to the net, prompting people to send her things, including a package containing curry and a hijab. People left notes on her car. Others located the Florida Board of Medicine phone number and suggested people call to complain.

Granted, her behavior was reprehensible. No one should be treated like that, especially poor people providing a service. This was clearly a breach of personal responsibility. The internet has made her life a living hell, in spite of tearful apologies and what appears to be genuine remorse. Fear is probably a component too. That said, this has nothing to do with her medical abilities or practice. 

The internet has shown how ugly it can and will get. The power of incredible amounts of people with varied skills cannot be underestimated but they should probably self-moderate.

ThermionicEmissions would not be ThermionicEmissions if I didn't mention that someone dug up personal pics of her and she looks quite nice in a bikini.

THE TRUMP CARD

I would not presume to tell you how to vote (have I mentioned that Governor Gary Johnson is running on the Libertarian ticket?)  and that is all. You probably know who has my vote (have I mentioned that Governor Gary Johnson is running on the Libertarian ticket?) and I want to officially state that I would not vote for Donald Trump. However, no one could deny his effect on this election.  People, well, the ones who are awake, are pissed. The Donald tells them what they want to hear and a vote for him is a legitimate protest vote. In addition, no one owns Trump, which is a downright lovely thing; he's an outsider. [NOTE: I am not coming down on anyone who votes for him. I just find some of his positions to be dictator-like.]

If you've seen, read, or listened to anything approaching news, you know that Trump bowed out of the debate (offering to return at the last minute if Fox would donate $5 million to one of his charities). Trump has a problem with Megyn Kelly, at very least. 

Trump traded barbs with Kelly and Fox. Fox was grossly unprofessional in its responses. Megyn was one of the moderators of the debate and referred to Trump as an Elephant and other unprofessional hot air emissions. Is this a news outlet or a free-for-all?

ThermionicEmissions would not be Thermionic Emissions if I didn't mention that Kelly is a very attractive woman with long blond hair. She cut it for the debate and her looks vanished in a non-existent puff of smoke.

CRIMINAL

Here are a few words about Hillary Clinton.  Hillary is a lying, vicious career politician, defining hubris. Although the press and government departments desperately try to cover it up, her email situation should result in HILLARY FOR JAIL 2016. 

There is no question of above top secret emails. The Inspector General required a higher clearance just to read the emails to determine if classified information was on the server. Hillary changes her story every time new information comes out. None of this is a secret.

What is completely ignored is that every action after purchasing a server has been a serious security breach, if not downright illegal. If you or I got our work email diverted to a personal server in our bathroom, we would not be employed too much longer. Documents also show that the Russians had the server hacked within twenty minutes of it being powered up. Who knows about if or how far the Chinese got. Wouldn't you qualify a home server diverting above top secret email and effectively providing this information to other nations a pretty serious offense? The emails identify CIA-payrolled spies, whose lives are now in danger.

Lastly, the Top Secret Gov't Network is completely separated from the non-classified system, so someone had to open the classified emails and copy them to the non-classified system. BOOM-they knew. The rest is lies. Now all that remains is that her buddies in government let the indictment go through... uh-oh.

Mike Nesmith (The Monkees)-every day I come home to this - don't you?

Getting a Really Stupid TV

Falling coconuts kill more people each year than shark attacks. Just thought you should know.

• Eye Bleach Brigade: Nursing home workers caught sharing nude patient images on Snapchat. This is a special kind of perverted (and I should know).

Internet of Things (Iot) doorbell available that will give up your wifi passwords to anyone with a screwdriver. Remember - this is what's coming with the IoT. It's a total security nightmare and I highly recommend against it until it's completely secured (40 years after you're dead and technology has found several new generations of buzzwords).

• "A country where you are fined for fishing without a license but where people cross the border without passports is run by idiots.”  Can't argue.

Joseph Fiennes will be playing Michael Jackson in a road trip movie. People are protesting (because it's so difficult to tell them apart).

• According to a recent study, teens and adults are opting for porn because it's 'less risky than actually having sex.' Has anybody told them there's a significant difference?

Dutch police kicked down a door after a report of "terrifying screams." It turned out to be a man singing along with opera. Hey, at least it wasn't rap.

• This is a very interesting and sad story about one of the engineers who tried to stop the Space Shuttle from launching and failed, after which it exploded.

Haven't you always hoped to meet your idols or favorites?
After reading a few on Twitter, it turns out that way too many of them have bizarre political views and are better off un-met (yeah, I get the irony). The Pythons are brilliant in 148 characters, though. Very witty, Wilde.

• Coldplay is twenty years old. Accordingly, I just heard them for the first time. I like to make up my own mind so I ignored all of the dissing they got from the public. After hearing one song and part of another, I realized that sometimes, infrequently, the public is right.

SELFIE TIME

• A lady on holiday in India tried to take a selfie at a tourist spot and fell 30' down a well. Fortunately she was rescued. No word on how the selfie turned out.

Since no one has died this week, Paul Kantner stepped up to the plate and left us yesterday. Kantner (74) founded the Jefferson Airplane. He had heart trouble previously and his organs kinda shut down.

• We just went past Data Privacy Day. As we know here, every day is data privacy day. The EFF has put together some info. One focus is your children's data in schools. There are many good links and the EFF is a great resource.  When you go to do something online, take a moment and this about how it might affect your privacy. We have to take care of ourselves - it's not in any company's or government's best interest to tell you how to maintain privacy (and security). If you have any questions, ask!

We all know about addiction and addicts. Crack addicts will break into houses to steal, sell their children and whatever else to get their fix. I've been monitoring and realized that crack addiction has absolutely nothing on the big one: of course I'm talking about cigarettes.  My wife is a smoker, so I have some idea of what I speak. When she goes into the hospital, a practice to which I have put a stop, the first thing I'm required to do is locate cigarettes. And maybe clothes.

So we're watching COPS and this guy is having an absolute blast, making his car do donuts. He winds up stopped, largely as a result of that old physics chestnut about two objects occupying the same place at the same time. In other words, he hit a house. The cop arrives immediately and goes up to the open window to find the airbag deployed..

COP: Sir, are you ok?
Guy: What? Yeah.
COP: Sir, can you get out of the car, please?
Guy: Can I have a cigarette?
COP: Get out of the car, please. Are you hurt?
Guy: I'm fine.
COP: I called the ambulance, have them look at you.
Guy: Can I have a cigarette?
COP: Let them look at you first.
...
Guy: Ok, I'm fine. Can I have a cigarette?
COP: I have stuff to do. Get in the car- you're going to jail.
Guy: Can I have a cigarette first?

I was half shocked and half hysterical. The wife was trying to tell me, through her laughter, that's the way it is.

And now, The Music

You may not know them off the top of your head, but everybody knows The Faces.
Rod Stewart was their front man.
Ron Wood (Rolling Stones) plays guitar.
Kenny Jones (The Who) plays drums.
Ronnie Lane plays bass. He passed from Gehrig's Disease and the ARMS Concerts raised funds for a cure.
Ian McLagan plays keys. Later he did work for the Rolling Stones and his own bands.

The link goes to a really good concert from 1972.
Check out Ronnie Lane singing on Maybe I'm Amazed. Ron Wood is playing a really cool Zamaitis guitar on this. You'll also recognize Stay With Me.

These guys groove like no other. Enjoy the show.