Get it now - iCancer.
Steve has it - why shouldn't you?
Apple is stepping up production on an emergency basis - they don't know if they'll be able to fulfill all the expected orders for iCancer.
[Photo of hordes of the faithful, lined up in Apple Position (supplication, wallet outstretched)]
The executive board of Apple met last night to decide when to offer iCancer: now or later. Stock is expected to go through the roof if anything unfortunate should happen to Steve.
All over the country, CEO's are scrambling to get iCancer. Special dispensation has been granted to allow an early preview for Bill Gates.
Purchase iCancer through the Apple Software Store (as if you could get it anywhere else). Remember - any other form of cancer isn't iCancer.
DRM is checked via DNA.
Directly from His pancreas to yours!
Get all sorts of skins!
Don't forget iCancer Portable - now for iPhones and iPads.
iCancer available on iPad Touch only with $250 iMelanoma upgrade.
Remember - if you don't have an iPhone, you don't have iCancer.
Warning: do not use iCancer in high radiation areas or near medical testing facilities. If iCancer lasts more than four hours, consult a physician. Do not fold, spindle, or duplicate without the express written consent of Steve Ballmer. If your iDevice survives iCancer, you will be charged full price for another copy. Has anybody seen the bridge?
Best wishes to Steve Jobs on his health.