How to Get Ahead in Business

Anybody who has worked anywhere at one place (or others) has had a chance to observe human (and largely inhuman) behavior with reference to obtaining things.

For instance, the fastest way to get something fixed is not to call the specific department in charge of fixing; instead you complain to your superior that something is broken and interferes with the performance of your job.

Poof - Instant Fix.

Then there's the best way to get something.  Again, you write to your superior that you need this particular device to assist you in doing your job.

Poof - Instant Present.

I watched with bemused horror as this took place today, with the requestor scoring herself a six-hundred dollar tablet, because, of course, it would assist her in doing her job.  This was even more interesting as she's a programmer and the tablet can't be used for programming.

Last week another enlightened requestor mentioned that his iDevice fell and scratched its case, so another would need to be ordered (to assist him in doing his job, no doubt).  Sixty dollars later, a custom case was on its way.

When I pointed these methods out to a female coworker, she remarked that she needed the company to purchase several Victoria's Secret gift certificates, in large denominations, for her, as it would make her boobs happy.  And if her boobs were happy, she was happy. 

I chimed in that if her boobs were happy, all of her coworkers were happy too.