I notice things. Different things than others. In fact, if I made any money from blogging, I could say I got paid to notice things. Since I make preciously close to zero via blogging, I will state that one of my interests is noticing things then writing about them.
Man, that's a lot of words for nothing.
Further, I do not get paid by the word. In fact, we've already established I don't get paid much, if at all.
Speaking of words, here's something I've noticed... if I send an email like this:
1. I need that TPS report.
2. How do you make them look so nice?
I'll get the following response:
On their way.
You will notice that the second question never got answered. Odds are it never got read.
Makes one wonder what would happen with this email:
1. How have you been?
2. I'm discussing eliminating your position with your boss.
The reply would probably be thus:
Things are good.
Dave Barry once noted that there's a similar phenomenon with phones, wherein the first five seconds of every phone call does not register:
Hi, I'm going to kill your children, how are you, Bob?
And I thought I was the one with the attention-deficit. So how do we convince people to read the entire email?
The answer is you can't. You have to send a separate email with each request.
Could you send me the quarterly report?
Could you send the quarterly report by snail mail?
In these attention-addled times, one must wonder what happens in case of emergency:
Mr Smith, your child has Dengue Fever. He will need to be picked up immediately.
The answer, of course:
That's terrible. Where is he?