Plug Cord into Computer, Wrap Other End Around Neck

The Illinois state senate passed a bill to keep Trump off the ballot in 2020 unless he releases his tax returns. Illinois' state motto: Stand Up and Be Stupid!

It's an awful shame people weren't this interested in government when the Bushes, Obama, Clinton, and the others were in office. This game of Divide and Conquer is the most successful since the concept there are two real parties for which to vote.

• I love when the cop comes upon a car with two naked people in it and asks what they're doing.

Dear lefty:

• Why is she such a bitch?
• She's not a bitch - she's hormonally enhanced

Guys - when you're doing a YouTube guitar pedal demo, put on some shoes. No one wants to see your socks adjusting a knob.

• Golf: a sport invented by black people to watch white people dress stupid

Your good friends as Faceyspaces, in the Disaster of the Week, asked 1.5 million people for their email passwords, then proceeded to suck up their contacts. It was, of course, unintentional.  Happy Faceyspaces Logging In, people!




Dear lefty:

• Why are the Canadians so pissed off at us all of the sudden?
• Who cares?

The Horse is Dead, Jim

Amazon employs thousands of people to listen to recordings of everything you said 'to make the service more accurate'. Gee, last time we heard, it doesn't record everything you say.

Q. When will people wake up to this intrusive nightmare?
A. Never.

• Ever cough so hard your underarms itch? Just asking.

Of Man and Dog


Penny's off visiting relatives with her mom. When Mom calls me, she puts me on speaker. When Penny hears me she runs up and licks the phone. It's good to know someone misses me.


Stuff I Learned Too Late
The lovely elderly neighbor, who Marshall taught to feed him on command, is not doing well with Penny, who largely barks at anything that moves. The neighbor would plant and weed, while Marshall would snooze near her. When she moved spots, so did he. They'd chat.

Now she comes outside, sadly looks for 'her Marshall,' and goes about her business. His loss looms large.


Don't read this:

A neighbor, truly a good guy, went through several cancers. No matter how bad his shape, he played with the dog, who brought him great joy. Sadly, he passed recently.

Now the dog roams the house, looking for him.