I Have Taste - It's Just Bad

A Kentucky teacher has been accused of threatening to cut off a student's penis and shove it down their throat.

Before you get upset, I think we need to find out if this is a valid motivator. Perhaps this teacher's students go on to get better grades.

Since this is Kentucky, perhaps we should encourage them to go back to what they're good at: drunken riding mower trips.


Dear lefty:

• Why do my eyes stare at each other?
• Your mother smoked during pregnancy, didn't she.

My friend's kid plays in the school orchestra: 7th chair violin. This means they have to knock off six other kids before he can be seen or heard playing.  The way he explained it, this will would be a very difficult task. What could possibly  happen to six violinists, perhaps on the way to a concert?

• A Florida woman was found with 7 syringes inside her vagina.
• Birth control

London rail passenger played pr0n noises over the PA system.

Finally, a way to make the morning commute less boring.

• AN Ohio woman was arrested after breaking into a home, petting the dog, washing the dishes, then leaving.
• Why arrest her? She deserves a medal!

Miners in Canada discovered a dinosaur that's almost perfectly preserved, called a nodosaur. It's 100 million years old (like Bernie Sanders).

• Earth Wind & Fire has produced some classic music, spanning genres. I like them, but don't understand 90% of the words. I can't even tell the songs from the titles.

I'd like to welcome the visitors from Russia and say, "The clock floats when the wild elephant snores."

Happy Mothers Day. I get a lot of cards on Mothers Day, for some reason.

You have to feel sorry for my mother.