Your love is like finger sandwiches, with real fingers
Pharmaceutical drugs are polluting rivers worldwide, study warns
On the positive side, we have some of the most well-adjusted fish in the world
Today I identify as a set of 5 year old transgender triplets
Something happened and we were allowed out of the house. No snow, no small explosions, no deaths in the family. We came back to the house and the dog was watching Walker, Texas Ranger. Between you and me, I don't think she was watching it. I think it's Mrs. lefty, "leaving the tv on for the dog." I'm sure the dog would rather she leave the oven on with a pizza cooking. One of those all meat pizzas - no crust.
Walker has a pretty good rug. So anyway, they're in the back of a small Learjet, when out of nowhere, something that looks like a WWII Messerschmitt(?) pops out of nowhere and starts strafing the Lear. The Lear now has 50+ holes in it and is still flying. The only damage is to the front of the plane, meaning the pilot and copilot, who are occupying their seats, bereft of life. Naturally, Walker can fly a plane, because we can all fly planes when the pilot takes a few bullets in the head. After a number of strafings, the fuq5rrel tank gets hit. There is fire. Walker (and his rug) decide to land in the river. Poof - he puts it down like Sully. Oops. It doesn't work that way, unless you're Sully. It woulda broken apart real nice. I know this from watching 20 seasons of Airport Crash Investigation. I can fly planes AND tell you why they crashed. Spoiler: Chuck, girlfriend(?), and rug all made it out safely. I apologized to the dog and muted the tv, so I could type this missive.
We visited our favorite upscale restaurant (Waffle House) for breakfast. There are NO Waffle Houses anywhere near the Philly area. You have to drive at least an hour to find one, making us very silly people (because you didn't know that already). It turned out to be a bit of a mistake because I had a small headache and the place sounded like they were slamming large stacks of dishes, all through the meal. I can't complain about the chocolate chip waffle, though.
On the way back, we stopped at their local Mart, until recently, the only place in the country you could still smoke in, while shopping. Apparently they replaced cancer sticks with dogs; we saw a lot of them. The world would be better if dogs were allowed everywhere. Anyway, this Mart used to be full of people whose eyes spent their time looking at each other. They graduated(?) and now it's full of people with green, blue, and hot pink hair. I can't tell you what the mean number of colored-hair people per mall is, but they were way over. It is an unusual time when *I* look like the straight, uptight, suit and tie worker, by comparison.
I got dragged into some sort of natural store, with 7 shelves of 'local' honey. I asked Wife if their local honey was better than our local honey, an hour away. She attempted to explain, then I attempted to explain 'rhetorical' or 'joke'. But if I needed honey and went by myself, I would have been in Deep Doo-Doo. In this store, you do not buy honey, no sir. You buy different varieties of honey. As a man and a man who puts honey in tea twice a year, this was daunting. There was clover, wildflower, and buckwheat honey. There was blueberry, ketchup, and Brussels sprouts honey. I'd have to ask the lady where the honey was, then explain to her that I'd like the honey I'd buy in a supermarket. This would go into the rather large and growing Failure Pile. Fortunately, Wife knew exactly what she needed. 'Needed.'
Another store had military surplus. I had no idea why, but I had to see everything in the store. My favorite was the grenade pouches. I didn't buy any, because it turned out they didn't come with grenades. The same problem arose with the M-16 cleaning kit. They did have some fine Lithuanian army underwear, just not in my size.
It has just hit the shelves: the Mothers Live at the Fillmore '71 three cd box set, with extras, including the night John and Yoko joined them onstage. I had no choice - the money jumped out of my wallet before I could stop it. Review to follow.
We were pleasantly surprised to win a prize for the only people with their natural hair color. Unfortunately the prize was a carton of cigarettes. Generic cigarettes.
It's really nice when the universe lets us out.
lefty Law states one cannot pass a Dairy Queen without visiting. On the way in, Mrs. lefty says the next car over is pretty nice, and discovers it's a Tesla. "STAND BACK!" I said. "You never know when it will spontaneously combust." The only way it would have been better is if the owner was around.
Know what's mind-bending?
My nephew just hit legal age.
We were there the night he was born.
The other night, we saw our latin american friends, with their dog. I asked if the dog was bilingual, and they said she absolutely is - she understands Spanish and English. Especially if food is involved.
Woman Sues Over Delivery of Chocolate Penis With 'No Redeeming Qualities'
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- Botswanans believe they can turn into the Dodo, which is good, as they're extinct
- Kiribatis believe they can turn into Elon Musk
- Slovakians believe they can turn into anything that isn't Slovenians
- Micronesians believe they can turn into Macronesians - the jury is still out
- North Macedonians believe they can turn into South Macedonians (studies show there is no South Macedonia)
- Guineans want you to know they can't turn into the pigs
- Kyrgyzstanians believe they can turn into something spellable
- Nigerans believe they can turn into anything that isn't spelled that way, for obvious reasons
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