Your love is like green food
How about your very own live funeral?
Today I identify as the Queen and King of England: We are not amused.
The president pardoned all federal simple marijuana possession offenses.
Way to go, Joe! That was downright libertarian of you
There was a large blip at UC Berkeley after 27 student groups discovered that biodiversity wasn't what they thought it was. The school is on lockdown for a week, as the student groups meet with their 1,275 member diversity staff and officers. Alumni are being asked to dig deep so UCB can expand their paltry diversity department. "We are being asked to do what real universities do, with minimal staff." Also on the agenda was assuring the student groups that there are no Jewish fish.
This is terrible for the country and obviously his family. The country is essentially being run by several treacherous, heavily-armed groups, with only the appearance of normalcy.
Kind of like the US.
Purrizon Update
I guess in response to the FCC complaint, I got one of their High Executive Muckety Mucks, who was intent on helping. The long and longer of it is that if you're not happy with the rates, you'll do better going with a prepaid plan. Get this: prepaid is the same as a regular plan. The only difference is that you can't pay out a new phone through them. Head to your wireless carrier's page and compare the prepaid rates to your existing plan. It might be worth a look. Meanwhile, some manufacturers will do a payout plan. IIRC, the existing $60 plan will be $40 or less. Of course the surcharges will jack it up past the point of ridiculous, but that's a battle for another day. There's also the store-bought prepaid (burner) phones, as well as Consumer Cellular and whoever else. In the end, I don't need unlimited data. Or 5gigs of data. I know it makes me less of a man that I use less than 1gig, but my parents taught me to stand up and be proud. It's probably why I got beat up a lot when I was a kid.
Speaking of which, I've seen pics of the Samsung foldable phones. They give me douche-chills, probably because a folded phone always required replacement. So I'm natutally suspicious. Anybody get their hands on one? They're even more expensive, with the Galaxy Fold going for $1500. I think the manufacturers have gone off the deep end with pricing, without offering additional value (for me at least). To be fair, I'd like the expanded screen real estate. I've also learned you don't buy things the first year they come out.
To continue the topic, sorta, why are people buying 'smart' watches? Ok, people will buy anything - just watch when Apple introduces new products. I asked a few friends why a watch. One outright admitted it did virtually nothing. Another seemed to enjoy it, but it looked like a preview function for his phone. Some have health functions. These let you (and Apple/Google/Fitbit etc) know your pulse or excretory output. You can already talk to your phone, so that's no help. The screens are so tiny that you can't fit much usable information on them. Phones are getting larger for this reason, so this seems a step backwards. Weigh in, please. Do watches have serious use? I understand some of them can tell you the time (provided you go through 6 menus).
BUT WAIT!!!
The changeover went smoothly, in that nothing beeped or complained. I went to make a call and got a message about call restrictions. In fact, any number I called had call restrictions. You have to know that a simple account switchover was not going to go smoothly. I called Support, which meant "there were higher than average call volumes". It suggested I perform some actions. Like turning off call forwarding. I haven't used call forwarding since I bought the phone, years ago. Then it accused me of not dialing correctly. It questioned my manhood and said I wasn't taking care of my wife. I asked for a human (silly, I know). I was told the wait would be from 15 minutes to a couple of days, more or less. After insulting the voice's parentage, I gave up and tried the chat from my phone. After waiting between 20 minutes and a week, I politely told them what I thought of their service and closed the browser.
It gets better. You knew it was going to. I cannot dial out AND no one can call me. So I have a great little computer that used to make phone calls. Thankfully it can still view pr0n. So we're not at all surprised, but really aggravated. Yet another relatively simple process has rocketed toward the ground at full speed. I firmly believe that if I bought a new phone cover, my entire phone service would tank, parts of my carpet would pull up, and bad rumors would circulate at work (worse than the normal ones).
BUT WAIT LONGER!!
I spent more quality time with Service the next day. They went through their extensive script and came up with exactly what I came up with: nothing, zero, zilch, bupkis. They wanted me to wait 3-5 days for a new sim card (which may or may not work). Fortunately a new card can be obtained at a Purrrizon store, so that's a chore for the evening. Oddly (and fortunately), data still works, so I get texts and can use the browsers. In the most recent words of King Charles, we are not amused. I wonder if Elixabeth and Charles have multiple personalities, hence the 'wc.' Or maybe they were years ahead of the Pronoun Crowd.
The most amusing and sad part of this is that Mrs. lefty cannot get in touch with me, worse than she normally can't get in touch with me. Her texts used to come in 100%. Now they don't come in at all. She can't call. The funny part is that my texts are getting through to her 100%. This has never happened before. The solution to her getting in touch with me involves voicemail, a landline, an answering machine, a real phone, email, and a duck. Heaven forbid anything were to happen to her, she wouldn't remember any of this or have time before she passed out. Then I definitely wouldn't be able to call her.
BUT WAIT!! FOR A PURRIZON REPRESENTATIVE
I was about a 1/16th of an inch (3 kilometers French) from changing carriers. I even picked out a phone (which was naturally completely out of stock). Off to the mall, where we'd find a Purrrizon store. If they failed, we'd find the other 3 carriers' stores to get another service. They moved the Purrrizon store in the mall. Checking the directory, they moved the Purrrizon store out of the mall. Yes, we were at the only mall in the United States without all 4 carrier stores.
It was at this point, I figured it out: I'm not just unlucky... my life was set up in a way that provides blog entries. This stuff doesn't happen to normal people with this frequency.
After spending 27 minutes trying to find the nearest Purrrizon store, we took off. It took 27 minutes because we did it online - the quick way. Put in your zip code. HA - we were kidding. Put in your state instead. NOW put in your zip code. How many cups of coffee do you drink every day? How many times a day does your dog poop?
The folks in the store were unerringly polite. There's this new thing where they sign you in. While at the mall, Wife went to a carrier store to correct a problem. They wanted my name, I asked why, and we stared at each other, like Gunfight at the OK Corral. There was no way I was going to draw first, so she asked me if I had an account. Wife got involved. They were very sorry, but they didn't do any kind of technical issue - they only sold ridiculously overpriced phones. I seriously doubted this but it wasn't my carrier so I didn't pursue it.
I ran through three Purrrizon employees, all trying their best to make my phone work. The data worked fine - the phone refused to work at all. Since it worked up til I switched to prepaid, one guy told me it was weird. I laughed and gave him one of my nicknames: Captain Weird. My readers know that only weird stuff happens to me. The third lady took a pit bull approach and wouldn't let go of the phone until it worked. She called 14 internal service numbers, plus the Weird Hotline. An hour later, after they literally changed my phone number and changed it back, I had a working phone. They told me it's a known issue. Er... if it's a known issue, they should tell all of their service people, so they wouldn't have to spend an hour each fixing it. I'm just stupid that way.
The most surprising thing out of this whole adventure is that adding phones to existing plans doubles the charge. I thought adding lines was cheaper. Assuming my phone doesn't do a Tesla and spontaneously explode, this should be it.
How do they know?
Psychic? Psychotic? Did they train the attackers? So many questions.
I saw a Trump Store at the mall. It had t-shirts, hats, and whatever else, with Trump's face and a slogan. I was surprised they had a store that would put off 50% of the public, but there it was. One of them said "Miss me yet?" Another had a pic of Joe and Kamilla that said "Dumb and Dumber". Again, I'm not a Trumper, but I'd definitely wear a shirt with his likeness that said "I'm for Trump, just because he gives you aneurysms." Alas, they didn't have one.
I've been at odds with a few things happening lately, but it has led to Scientific and Universal understanding. The alleged problem is that I like to sit a lot. Even moreso when there's mowing to be done. Keep this in the back of your head - there will be a test later.
Penny was a stray we adopted, so we don't know her history. If her mommy is in bed, she is in bed. When I come to bed later, I have to assure her I'm me and not a threat or she barks. This worked for a while until she figured a way around it. I come to bed, talk to her, rub her belly, and the moment I touch the bed, she barks. This happened again last night. To add to the fun, I discovered the sheet was wet, my pillow was on the floor, and I was laying on a book. I like to think of bed as the Final Refuge of the day. Getting in bed is almost a sacred task, and I like things to be... not at perfect angles, just there, with no grief, aggravation, pens, or libraries. Plastic bookmarks hurt, in places better off not hurting. I don't think I ask for too much. It's kind of a refuge from the 7 ring circus, not an extension of it. Rather, it's meant to be a refuge. At least until Wife barks.
I never realized it but being uncomfortable about sitting a lot is a symptom, not the problem. After vcry careful scientific measurement and thought, I realized I carry a much greater burden. I hold the universe back. Think about it... everything's just fine when I sit. It is only when I get up that stuff starts to go sideways (tits up in Britland). Expand this, because no theory is any good til it's blown way out of proportion, and you realize I am keeping you, the planet, and the universe semi-stable by sitting there. Since it is only when I get up that Shit Happens, I am saving everyone from even more agita.
So I feel considerably less guilty for just sitting. I'm actually helping. Unfortunately I cannot sleep there, so I still have to get the bedroom issue sorted out. I'm sitting for you, people.
Her: I need you to mow.
Me: Sorry, can't. Keeping the universe from making things worse.
Her: What about the trash?
Me: Isn't there a service or something? If I get up, people may die. The last time I got up, your glasses went missing for 5 days. Florida had a hurricane. Russia annexed Mexico. Do you not see the importance of me sitting? It's a lonely existence, but I do it selflessly, for Everyone.
Her: Who's going to carry the 50lb clothes hampers?
Me: If they're my clothes, most will disappear before they hit the washer.
Her: What if I trip and fall?
Me: You tell me. It's an existential question. Spock would say the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
Her: So you'd let me lay there?
Me: Be serious. As long as I'm sitting, you won't fall.
Her: I don't like the sound of this.
Me: There's more... would you get me a sandwich?
---> I was just kidding about the test.
Now I know why people self-injure.
Here's a whole lotta emotions. Gary Moore (RIP) with special guest BB King (RIP) playing The Thrill is Gone. Watch Gary repeat back what BB plays. Even better, watch BB's faces when he does it. He was an understated comic. Just two frighteningly good guitar players we lost recently.
Work has managed to find the button that adds 'How do you feel about this email? Good/bad' to the bottom of emails. Not sure how anybody thought this would be a good idea, perhaps because the answers are limited to good or bad. If there were a fill-in option, I suspect they would be less than pleased with the responses...
I feel annoyed with this email. Since we generate our own spam, it's just another email. It has no relation to me or the job. Sometimes the emails depress me because they just clog up my inbox, making me feel like there are endless tasks to perform. If I'm already depressed because of this dead-end job and I see the email come in, I sometimes feel borderline violent. When the celebration of xxx History Month emails come in, I get very upset, wanting to do my job, not deal with useless emails. These emails keep getting past my filters. It's a good thing we telework because sometimes I get so mad, I want to assault a coworker. Human nature being what it is, I would assault the closest coworker to me, which would be Sally Sofa. In addition to assault charges, someone would obviously throw in sexual harassment, even though this was purely a garden-variety assault - gender didn't matter. Since I telework, my family is in constant danger of assault because of these messages. My wife hides in her room, but I have some morals - I'd never hit a dog. The kids either, although some days.... It also bleeds through to anybody who knocks on the door, especially with our new No Soliciting sign. They're likely to get bitten or hit to begin with, but after an email that makes me feel angry, it could range anywhere from a baseball bat to automatic weapons.
THAT is how I feel about this email.
Amazon had its third warehouse fire this week.
They are now giving out fireproof uniforms with new employee packages
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