Your love is like making love to a poisonous jellyfish
There is a house on the block with a large flag that reads TRUMP 2024.
In my hood, it's as easy to get a republican into office as it is to get a libertarian.
Of course we're all voting for the green pen, right?
Today I identify as anything but a football fan
Michigan is Banning Inmates From Reading Totally Normal Books
The state's prisons have banned almost 1,000 titles, claiming over half of them pose a “threat to the order and security of the institution.”
ThermionicEmissions has obtained the banned books list:
- Dungeons and Dragons rule-making books
- Grant Writing for Dummies [definitely a threat to order]
- German in 32 Lessons
- Horton Hears an Escape Plan
- The History of Shivs and How to Make them from Everyday Items
- Where to Hit an Armed Guard to Temporarily Disable Him
- English as a First Language
- Prison Blueprints Throughout History
- What Happens When You're the Bitch?
- Mama Said not to Forget Your Rubbers
Further study concludes that Viagra has very little to do with it. What do you do after you take Viagra? Theoretically you have sex. This is the key. People who have sex want to stay around, so they don't bother dying.
Makers of all erectile dysfunction medicines want you to know that, based upon this study, you should take the pills even if you don't have erectile dysfunction. You will live longer. Side effects include a very happy wife or a very pissed off wife. Don't take Viagra if you're allergic to Viagra (you idiot).
We have bags of it round the back
Let me start by saying that they're not attack bags. So that's a load off your mind already. We have bags. So what - everybody has bags. Well, sure, everybody has trash bags and paper bags, but we have bags. It's difficult to describe them because I'm a guy, but I'll make the attempt: when you go to a non-supermarket type store and buy a bunch of stuff, you get a bag to take it home in. It's darn fine and darn large; twice the size of your average paper bag (27 milk cartons large, 5.7 kilometres Canadian). It has fine handles on it, that won't break when you're hauling your Stuff home. It's made out of something that isn't cheap plastic that will break if you try to do something stupid, like lift it. It might even be woven. Men don't generally say words like woven. Woody. Wainscotting. Divan. Valance. Window Treatments. Guar gum. Guam.
So we have these bags. I don't know how many is enough, but we have more than that. I lump this into "things I don't understand and don't care about because my brain can only hold so much information and this is a complete waste." SHE knows. What's even stranger is that her family knows. Well, the women anyway. They're absolutely fascinated with them. Apparently when we give gifts, we give them in these bags, and people (ladies) love them. I try as best I can to just let this pass by, but my analytical mind, which keeps me awake at night wondering if gravity is real, wants to know why. It's like a bunch of hens after feed. They want to know where Wife got them. They're so nice.
To make matters worse, and they always are, Wife has taken to buying many bags when we're out, so she can give them out to everybody who thinks they're so wonderful. So you see, we now have more bags. When we go to the cashier, we have a pair of shoes, a silver thing for display on a table somewhere, a tiny screwdriver set, a pair of jeans, and 25 bags with the store's name on them. The cashier looks at her strangely about the jeans bags, after which Wife explains. Cashier says what a great idea this is. Wife says to just put our purchases in these bags. Cashier is happy and her life is complete. My part in this? I carry the bags to the car.
I'm waiting for someone to call Wife "Bag Lady." That will be the last thing they remember saying when they wake up in the hospital.
Police Contractor That Promised to Track Homeless People Hacked
Yes, they were tacking the homeless through facial recognition.
lefty's laws: if it can be done, it will
Madison Square Garden has facial recognition that has already barred people from entering. Walmart and other retail giants use facial recognition. You need to contact these entities and tell them this is not acceptable. Let your representatives know. It's coming and sometimes already here, whether you like it or not. Look at your drivers license and weep.
He's great entertainment, whether he's trolling people on Twitter, not paying rent, or his cars spontaneously combust. Much like Howard Stern, you listen to hear what he's going to say or do next, like him or not.
An oyster with Dick Cheney's head may help reveal why oysters eat their young.
We're just shouting into the void, says US watchdog offering cybersecurity advice
Federal depts ignore almost 60% of IT defense recommendationsIt's ok, they're still keeping us safe. You trust them, right? Be a PATRIOT.
A fifth of passwords used by federal agency cracked in security audit
Inexcusable, but to be fair, it's probably worse where you work....
And this is a surprise? Congressmen ranked 17 out of 18, just ahead of telemarketers.
- Severe weather bombarded Texas yesterday, as somebody looked up and noticed a cloud.
Former president Donald Trump will be allowed back on to Faceyspaces and Instagram. The howling was heard across the world. Faceyspaces said there will be guidelines for Trump: nothing he posts will appear. Ever. They said this is to avoid misinformation. Meanwhile, the NSA has an account, and the CIA controls tv and radio. President Biden will be allowed to post without interference, but only if he talks about giving incredible amounts of money away. Biden's handlers high-fived each other due to the 'coincidence.'
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